Yes, I’ve got a second secret. Remember when I told you that one of the first secrets of dealing with adjusting to changes in life - including enjoying a successful retirement - is having a positive attitude? Well, that is absolutely right. (If you slept through that lesson, go back and read it again.)

But there is more. Regardless of how old you are, I’m pretty sure you do not want to face years of waking up wondering what you can do today and why you should do it. I’m pretty sure your goals do not include lack of curiosity and years of watching others enjoy their days feeling full of purpose, while you sit in front of the TV. If I’m wrong, skip this blog and check today’s tv guide.
 
That said, here is my second secret:

Yes, you read that correctly. It won’t help for you to whine or squirm or say things like, “I’m too old” “It’s too hard” “Leave me alone.” In fact, you won’t even have to say the “Leave me alone” part because that train will have already left the station.​

Plainly speaking, if you don't attempt to learn the basics of using the computer and your smart phone, you will be left out...

... of both the virtual world and increasingly many IRL "in real life" events as well. I'm talking about activities such as booking and confirming appointments and events with friends, doctors, restaurants / listening to music and watching TV and movies / communicating with the world outside your home. 

There, I’ve said it. So put on your big boy/girl pants and get ready to learn.

WHO needs to learn? You do! Yes, you - along with anyone else who feels like they don't have a good basic grasp of current smart phone and internet technology or who simply does not want to be left out.

​Who can teach? The first people I recommend for you to turn to is your family -

• Significant Other
• Kids/Grandkids
• Aunts
• Uncles
• Cousins
• Results of ancestry.com

If those come up empty, try friends and neighbors or a volunteer organization. You may have to pay some of these people but trust me, it will be worth it. Maybe you can barter - bake/consult/garden, or offer a skill in which you excel.
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The point is don’t be shy or try to overthink it. Just do it.

Wherever it is easiest for you. If you don’t have a computer, ask the person who will teach you if you can work on theirs. If you can afford it, then purchase a computer (desktop or laptop), tablet, smartphone, or other electronic device. If someone who cares about your future would like to buy you a gift, put it on the list. In the meantime, practice your lessons by going to the library or borrowing a device.

You need to learn this so you won’t be left behind. The reality is that the world is now more digital than not. Most individuals and businesses communicate via text message and/or email. Want to find a phone number or address? ... it's online. Can't find the manual for your vacuum? ... it's online. Need to access your banking information without going to the bank? ... it's online. Want to watch a movie? ... it's online. Especially in the age of Covid, everything you need can be accessed virtually, if you know how. 

I won’t give you homework like finding friends from high school or using Google Earth to walk down your street. (But you've got to admit those sound kind of interesting!)

Yes,I do understand that things like passwords and email addresses and saving documents and pictures can be frustrating and challenging, but getting comfortable with these technologies will lessen frustration and open a new world for you and a way to explore your curiosity and create new goals.

Go ahead – you have a new goal now. Have fun!

​You're welcome, 
Loretta

My friend Emily and I were out walking last week. Suddenly she stopped short and said, “Did you hear that Bob did The Big-R?” I was puzzled. “The Big-R?”

“That which cannot be named,” she uttered in her best Harry Potter-esque voice. I smiled and leaned in closer and whispered, “Are you talking about ‘Retirement’?”

“Shhh!” she hissed. “Seriously, don’t use that word anymore. It conveys the wrong message!”  

“What in the world do you mean?” I asked. She sighed, and I felt like she was searching for a way to say something nicely. “You, of all people, should know.”

“Look,” I said, “I know there is a lot of misinterpretation about the word ‘Retirement,’ but really, … comparing it to *Voldemort?”

Emily shook her head. “Misinterpretation? People hear the Big-R word and think the person is over the hill, incapable of anything new and fresh…, and, basically, A HAS BEEN!”

My mouth dropped open. “Ok, here’s proof!” she said as she pulled out her phone and pointed to a webpage. “Just look at the definition from the fancy Oxford English Language Dictionary!”

I looked in amazement as she continued. “I have no problem with definition #1 but check out #2! And, by the way, I’ve been thinking maybe you should stick with being  called a ‘Life Coach.’ If this is how people are viewing The Big-R, listing yourself first as a Retirement Coach could put people off!”

“Oh, Em,” I said shaking my head. “Just like a Life Coach, a Retirement Coach helps people deal with life’s transitions. It’s like the change from being single and then getting married or going from being a couple to having kids. ‘The Big-R’ requires thinking about and planning for the next 20 to 30 years! A person will have more time and more choices for not just how to fill the day but also for how to feel fulfilled at the end of the day. Planning is how to avoid definition #2!” We decided to order coffee and sat down outside.

​“If it was my dictionary,” I continued, “Definition #2 would be something like, 

As Emily thought about it, I decided to have some fun and sound less like a coach. “Take Clark Kent, for example. He knew he was meant to use his superpowers to seek truth and justice, but he couldn’t just transition from Smallville to Metropolis without a plan to protect his identity! He got a job as a reporter at the Daily Planet and located a nearby phone booth.” She started laughing and almost choked on her coffee. But she was listening. 

“Here’s another example - suppose you decide to get fit and enter a half marathon. You wouldn’t just get up that morning, put on a good pair of running shoes and join the race - hoping to get to the finish line, right?! You’d map out a training program to make sure you were prepared to succeed.”

She wiped some coffee from her chin and laughed out loud. “Ok, but what about other people’s reactions? I just saw Susan, and she was complaining that her neighbors think since she is around all the time, she can watch for their deliveries!” She paused, “And her kids think she is a full-time babysitter; they assume she’s always available.”

I smiled and shook my head. “Stop worrying about other people! The fact is that it’s smart to approach retirement with a plan and an attitude of adventure and creativity.

Today, more than 50% of retirees are working part-time and others are volunteering or busy learning something new.  It does not have to be solitude and loneliness!    

​“So,” Emily said. “What now? It’s obvious we need to do something about that word!” I smiled. “Well, you’re right and people have made lots of suggestions. But the Big-R word has been around a long time.  Instead, I say we keep the word ‘Retirement’ and just add a tag line:

Maybe I should print up tee shirts!

Loretta
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*Voldemort, also known as 'The Dark Lord' in the Harry Potter series, was so evil that even his name was not to be spoken.
*Oxford Languages is the world’s leading dictionary publisher, with over 150 years of experience creating and delivering authoritative dictionaries globally in more than 50 languages.

I have been feeling great joy in offering this campaign again to all of us. Now that spring has finally arrived and we are allowing ourselves more freedom to mix and mingle again, I believe that having a positive attitude is one of the most important steps to finding peace and fulfillment.
 
When I remind myself of these five steps to making happy a habit, I gain personal strength and the resilience to deal with ‘stuff’ that life sends my way. That half-full glass allows me to be more creative and to realize that if I’m blocked in one direction, there are many ways to reach my personal goals. For example, ​this is a blog I wrote when in lockdown from Covid.

Wishing you happily ever after,

Loretta