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LET’S PLAY “GUESS WHAT?”

3/7/2023

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1. GUESS WHAT Number ... "Retirement" is on the list of 'Life's 43 most stressful life events'.

It’s #10! And that’s why I say we need to talk about your plans. Some people might find the transition easy, but many retirees are truly stressed at the challenge of creating a new identity and purpose.   ​

2. GUESS WHAT … it might mean if your work defines “who you are” rather than “what you do.”

It will make leaving your workplace more difficult. Think about how you will introduce yourself when you retire, and please don’t say ‘I used to be!’ Thinking about who you are NOW and what you want NOW will help you create the things you will be retiring TO.

3. GUESS WHAT … will happen if your social connections are mostly related to your workplace.

It will probably be a lot harder to replace those connections. Finding new friends and interests before you leave your job will create a ready community of people you like to spend time with when you do retire.

​By the way, a Harvard Grant Study has shown that having a strong social connection in retirement not only helps people outlive those who don’t but also aids in delaying the onset of Alzheimer’s and dementia.

4. GUESS WHAT … sitting at a desk most of the day can cause.  

​Complicated physical issues that can interfere with your retirement plans. Get up and get moving! Those grandkids want to play hide and seek. Your condo wants you to be on the pickleball team, and the dog just brought you his leash asking for a long walk. You don’t want to miss out on any of that – do you?    

5. GUESS WHAT … believing that “the best is yet to come” can encourage.

Fresh ideas and possibilities! Having a positive mental outlook is not just being a cockeyed optimist. It helps you deal with change as well as giving you more energy for new opportunities and accomplishments. It also makes you more resilient so you can more easily handle the other ‘stuff’ that comes your way.

6. GUESS WHAT happens … when volunteering is what you want to do in retirement, but you don’t spend any time looking into it beforehand.  

You will probably waste time searching for appropriate opportunities and get stuck in roles you don’t like. Start early thinking about organizations you want to help and make some inquiries.
​
Think about what you would like to do for an organization, so you don’t get stuck making phone calls or stuffing envelopes (unless, of course, you like that!).

AND BY THE WAY… one more

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7. GUESS WHAT happens … when you WRITE DOWN goals you want to achieve.  

Whether it’s a trip to Machu Picchu or creating an online creative cooking club, you will be more likely to achieve your goal if it is WRITTEN DOWN. (You’ve probably already done it on the financial side. Now do the same for all those non-financial issues!)
​
Research has shown that when goals are written down, it reminds us of what they are and what we need to do to achieve them. Just make sure you put the list in a place where you can easily find it.
No more guessing. Having a little extra information makes you smarter. Now you have it, so get started!
 
Loretta
~Also seen in the monthly Let's Talk Retirement! column in the Jewish Observer~
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Podcast Episode 6: Reimagining Retirement - 9 Keys to True Wealth

10/11/2022

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Episode 6 of Resources for a Modern Retirement breaks down the 9 keys to true wealth and planning for your future self.

Where do you want to be in ten years? In today's podcast, join Eric J. Weigel and me, as we navigate how to plan for your future self. Retirement is about more than just money, as Eric identifies in his book, Reimaging Retirement - 9 Keys to True Wealth.

​Learn about the 9 keys to true wealth and focusing on all areas of your life that are important to you!
WATCH PODCAST

About Our Episode Guest

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Eric J. Weigel
Founder
​Retire with Possibilities
https://www.retirewithpossibilities.com/
[email protected]​

​
BUY THE BOOK: 
​Reimaging Retirement - 9 Keys to True Wealth
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GUARD YOUR RETIREMENT - Avoid the Dark Side!

7/12/2022

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Retirement
While traveling recently, I was introduced to someone from Brazil. When I told him I was a Life Coach with a specialty in Retirement, he was intrigued.  The conversation went something like this:
He: Interesting. I recently watched a documentary about retirement in the U.S. If you don’t mind, I have a question.

Me: Sure, go ahead and ask.

He: Well, one thing really surprised me. Is it true when a person retires in the U.S., they are assigned a LEGAL GUARDIAN?

A Legal Guardian at Retirement? No!

Needless to say, I was surprised. Perhaps the film dealt with financial planning or offered other suggestions for protecting one’s assets during retirement. Somehow, he had come away with a very strange conclusion. 
Note: Many people in the U.S. take legal steps to assign Power of Attorney to a family member or trusted friend as part of their Estate Planning. This gives that person the legal authority to care for the personal and property interests of someone who has become physically or mentally impaired.
A legal guardian is similar in nature, but the guardian is assigned through an extensive court proceeding rather than through the wishes of the individual. Obviously, neither is an automatic factor of retirement.

Guard Against the Dark Side

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What I did not share with him - and what I really don’t like to linger on here because our focus in these pages is the power of positivity – is the fact that after retiring some people do experience the dark side of retirement. Simply put, the dark side of retirement has to do with feeling lost, useless, depressed, and simply without validation. Sitting in the house all day with little to do is very boring and lonely; the spiraling down can even lead to exploring the liquor cabinet.  
For some, the lack of purpose that comes with retirement is very hard and finding the positive can be difficult and they can no longer handle their own affairs. If you or anyone you know is experiencing depression or having trouble shifting a negative mindset, I encourage reaching out to a good therapist or consulting with your primary care physician. ​There is help!

Focus on the Bright Side

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Happily, what most people can look forward to is the bright side of retirement!

And, indeed, there is a bright side – time to do the things you really ​enjoy, opportunities for creative and exciting adventures, satisfaction of embracing the new and nurturing the tried and true. It involves PLANNING, and there are a few simple things you can do now to make YOUR future look bright.

Step One: PHYSICAL

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Start now to build an exercise routine. This does not require a gym membership or a Lulu Lemon outfit. If you are new at it, start with 10 minutes and watch yourself build up to 30.

Step Two: MENTAL

​Set your mind to being more positive every day. Make things happen. What are you are really good at and enjoy doing? Spend a little time starting up again. (Photography? Learning a language? Volunteer?) 
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Step Three: SOCIAL

Make sure your friends and social connections are not all associated with your work. You’ll have new friends thanks to step two! And…, get rid of negativity. If relationships are hard to break, try to interact less often.
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Step Four: SPIRITUAL

This is not an edict for religion. Instead find time to bring significance to your daily routine. How can you contribute? How can you feel satisfied? Oh yes, and perform a random act of kindness every day.
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That’s it. I’ve tried to make it short and sweet. Whether you are following these suggestions yourself or if you are a Power of Attorney or a Legal Guardian trying to help the person in your care, working through these four steps is bound to lead to ​​positive and impactful benefits in the years ahead.
 
Loretta
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Podcast Episode 5: Get Creative in Retirement: Become a Published Photographer!

5/10/2022

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Episode 5 of Resources for a Modern Retirement focuses on getting creative in retirement and finding new passions.

How are you going to spend your newfound free time in retirement? Today’s podcast introduces you to Jerry Park, who I think you will find to be an absolute inspiration.

Jerry suggests:
  1. Think about and plan for at least four areas of interest to pursue BEFORE you retire.
  2. Don’t be alone. Go out and mix with people because there is always someone or something that will help you connect.
  3. Allow yourself to be creative and most of all make sure you are having FUN!​​
WATCH PODCAST

About Our Episode Guest

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Jerry Park
Jerry Park Photography
www.jerryparkphotography.com
[email protected]
615-969-6540


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Dear Tom, I TOLD YOU SO!

3/20/2022

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I don’t often talk like that. In fact, I find that I will go out of my way not to say it or even hint at it. But now since Tom Brady is back, I will state it in capital letters:

I Told You So!

    Let me explain. If you will recall, in one of my recent blogs, 
Retiring the Big R - Imagine the Possibilities!
I talked about trying to find a substitute for the word ‘Retirement.’ I do feel replacing  (or enhancing) the word is important because the connotation is just dripping with...
"it’s over!  
you’re a has been!  
you are outa here! and
 you have become a 'usta be!’ "
Tom Brady felt it, I’m sure. After all, when he decided to quit playing football, here is how he announced it:  “I am not going to make that competitive commitment anymore.”
​Rather fancy, huh? Kind of a dancing around the situation, right? He could not bring himself to say, “The Big R” word, so he just used some other pretty words instead. But the meaning was there: I am retiring and “imagining the possibilities.”  … at least for a little while. 

"Acting Before Thinking is Regret"

Here we are two months later, and I’m sure you heard the news: ​
Tom Brady said Sunday he is returning to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers for his 23rd season in the NFL. The seven-time Super Bowl champion announced his decision on Twitter and Instagram, saying he has unfinished business.
​Uh, yeah. ‘Unfinished business.’ Ok, now maybe you will try to tell me he was made an offer he couldn’t refuse. Money? Really? Tom Brady would be swayed by the money? I doubt it. 
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Instead, he found himself in the position that I have warned you against - namely, regretting the decision soon after leaving work and then wasting time trying to figure it all out. It can be nice during that honeymoon phase of the first few months, having no schedule or responsibility. But it’s when you start longing for connection, searching for identity and finding your purpose that  the questioning and doubting begin.

The Takeaway

Unless you are forced out, do not leave your work until you have some idea about how and with whom you will spend your time. It is so important to get involved in some interesting, satisfying, and challenging activities OUTSIDE OF WORK many years before you plan on reaching ‘The Big R.’ Which brings me to another of my blogs:
A Sense of Belonging..., It's a Basic Human Need!
​Please go back and reread my two previous blogs through the links above. Be smart, and don’t be like Tom Brady. (Has anyone ever said that before?) Contact a Retirement Coach today (maybe me?) and imagine the possibilities!  Enough said, except  ...
 I TOLD YOU SO!
Loretta
P.S. If anyone out there knows Tom, please send him my contact information. I’ll be glad to help him figure things out.
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A SENSE OF BELONGING - It's a Basic Human Need

3/2/2022

2 Comments

 
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I recently worked with an executive who was thinking about retirement. In one of our initial sessions, I asked him about his hobbies.

“HOBBIES? HOBBIES?
​Loretta, do you really think I have time for HOBBIES?!” he ranted. 

Rather than wait for him to work out why I was asking, I quickly changed the wording. “OK,” I said. “Let’s try it this way: What are you good at and enjoy doing such that you completely lose track of time?”
This made him pause. He knew he was good at a lot of things, but it had been so long since he had done many of them that he wasn’t sure he still could. He began to realize that he had been so steeped in his work and glued to his schedule that he rarely did what he liked to do. And…, if he took time for himself, he felt selfish! ​
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Call them HOBBIES or PASSIONS or even INTERESTS, making time in your life for things you enjoy - whether you are 25 or 65 - is important.


It’s important for your emotional wellbeing; it’s important for your mental stimulation and…IT’S REALLY IMPORTANT FOR RETIREMENT.
Retirement can be lonely. Sure, you can find yourself newly retired and then decide to ‘do what I want to do when I want to do it!’ Your search may take a little longer and be a lot more difficult than if you had started years ago, but yes, you can begin after the Retirement Party.  ​
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If, on the other hand, you have already been involved in a few activities you enjoy before you retire, you have a head start on interacting with people who share your interests. Let me remind you, the feeling of belonging is one of our basic human needs. Yes, right up there with food and shelter.
When a person stops working, that sense of belonging, of being ‘included’ or identified as part of a team/company/title can slip away. Some people feel like outsiders in their own life. That’s why it is important – starting today - to make time for the things you really enjoy doing.

If you still need more convincing to get started now, here are three reasons that are backed by science:

1 - BETTER WORK PERFORMANCE

A study in the Journal of Occupational and Organizational Psychology finds marked differences between those who engage in hobbies and those who do not. This includes a better attitude at work and more creativity on projects.

2 - IMPROVED PHYSICAL AND MENTAL HEALTH

A study of enjoyable leisure activities measured by Pittsburgh Enjoyable Activities Test (PEAT) shows “Higher PEAT scores were associated with lower blood pressure, total cortisol, waist circumference, and body mass index, and perceptions of better physical function.   

3 - REDUCED STRESS

A study by Matthew Zawadzki, a health psychologist at the University of California, shows that leisure activity can provide immediate stress relief, which has been shown to have both health and psychological benefits, like improved focus, happiness and a longer life.

…and who wouldn’t be impressed by those reasons!

So, get started. Explore how to get involved in activities you’ve put aside or always wanted to learn more about. You will make new friends (outside of work), enjoy sharing an interest, and have fun being around others who like to do what you do.  And Happy Retirement, whenever that is!    
-Loretta
P.S. In case you missed it, recently the Mars Wrigley Corporation (owner of M&Ms) made some changes you can read about here. They decided their multicolored mascots were not reaching all of society in their ads. A change was necessary “to create a world where everyone feels they belong."
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Photo from Today.com

Start planning for retirement NOW to avoid finding yourself spending your days at home in front of the TV - with a bowl of M&Ms!

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Retiring the Big-R - Imagine the Possibilities!

2/3/2022

3 Comments

 
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​I had to smile this morning when I heard the TV anchor say, “Tom Brady is Retiring!!” OMG! Of course, the anchor wanted to interview several people about this breaking news. Then, when he sent the camera over to get more from an interview with a popular sportscaster, one of the first things the sportscaster said was,
“Tom Brady did not use the word ‘retirement’ in his press release!”
​Here it is:
"I have always believed the sport of football is an 'all-in' proposition - if a 100% competitive commitment isn't there, you won't succeed, and success is what I love so much about our game," Brady wrote. "There is a physical, mental, and emotional challenge EVERY single day that has allowed me to maximize my highest potential. And I have tried my very best these past 22 years.

There are no shortcuts to success on the field or in life. This is difficult for me to write, but here it goes: I am not going to make that competitive commitment anymore. I have loved my NFL career, and now it is time to focus my time and energy on other things that require my attention.

I've done a lot of reflecting the past week and have asked myself difficult questions. And I am so proud of what we have achieved. My teammates, coaches, fellow competitors, and fans deserve 100% of me, but right now, it's best I leave the field of play to the next generation of dedicated and committed athletes."

"Tom Brady is … ​what? "

Tom Brady refused to use that R-word because of its connotation ​which made me think of a blog I shared last year about a conversation I had with my friend Emily. I think he could have followed my suggestion about the Big-R and simply winked and said, "IMAGINE THE POSSIBILITIES!"
​~~
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My friend Emily and I were out walking last week. Suddenly she stopped short and said, “Did you hear that Bob did The Big-R?” I was puzzled. “The Big-R?”

“That which cannot be named,” she uttered in her best Harry Potter-esque voice. I smiled and leaned in closer and whispered, “Are you talking about ‘Retirement’?”

“Shhh!” she hissed. “Seriously, don’t use that word anymore. It conveys the wrong message!”  

“What in the world do you mean?” I asked. She sighed, and I felt like she was searching for a way to say something nicely. “You, of all people, should know.”

“Look,” I said, “I know there is a lot of misinterpretation about the word ‘Retirement,’ but really, … comparing it to *Voldemort?”

Emily shook her head. “Misinterpretation? People hear the Big-R word and think the person is over the hill, incapable of anything new and fresh…, and, basically, A HAS BEEN!”

My mouth dropped open. “Ok, here’s proof!” she said as she pulled out her phone and pointed to a webpage. “Just look at the definition from the fancy Oxford English Language Dictionary!”
*Retirement (Noun)
1. giving up work, stopping work
2. seclusion, retreat, solitude, loneliness,
isolation, privacy, obscurity
I could hardly believe what I was reading
I looked in amazement as she continued. “I have no problem with definition #1 but check out #2! And, by the way, I’ve been thinking maybe you should stick with being  called a ‘Life Coach.’ If this is how people are viewing The Big-R, listing yourself first as a Retirement Coach could put people off!”

Just like a Life Coach, a Retirement Coach helps people deal with life’s transitions.

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“Oh, Em,” I said shaking my head. “Just like a Life Coach, a Retirement Coach helps people deal with life’s transitions. It’s like the change from being single and then getting married or going from being a couple to having kids. ‘The Big-R’ requires thinking about and planning for the next 20 to 30 years! A person will have more time and more choices for not just how to fill the day but also for how to feel fulfilled at the end of the day. Planning is how to avoid definition #2!” We decided to order coffee and sat down outside.

​“If it was my dictionary,” I continued, “Definition #2 would be something like, 
Retirement (Noun)
"The opportunity and time to energize lifestyle,
renew interests, and create new adventures.”
As Emily thought about it, I decided to have some fun and sound less like a coach. “Take Clark Kent, for example. He knew he was meant to use his superpowers to seek truth and justice, but he couldn’t just transition from Smallville to Metropolis without a plan to protect his identity! He got a job as a reporter at the Daily Planet and located a nearby phone booth.” She started laughing and almost choked on her coffee. But she was listening. 
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​“Since he’d already mapped out his plan, when he was needed he rushed to the phone booth, took off his shirt and glasses, and he became SUPERMAN!!”  She was wondering if I was serious, so I continued,
“Here’s another example - suppose you decide to get fit and enter a half marathon. You wouldn’t just get up that morning, put on a good pair of running shoes and join the race - hoping to get to the finish line, right?! You’d map out a training program to make sure you were prepared to succeed.”

She wiped some coffee from her chin and laughed out loud. “Ok, but what about other people’s reactions? I just saw Susan, and she was complaining that her neighbors think since she is around all the time, she can watch for their deliveries!” She paused, “And her kids think she is a full-time babysitter; they assume she’s always available.”
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Today, more than 50% of retirees are working
​part-time and others are volunteering or
busy learning something new.

I smiled and shook my head. “Stop worrying about other people! The fact is that it’s smart to approach retirement with a plan and an attitude of adventure and creativity.

Today, more than 50% of retirees are working part-time and others are volunteering or busy learning something new.  It does not have to be solitude and loneliness!    

​“So,” Emily said. “What now? It’s obvious we need to do something about that word!” I smiled. “Well, you’re right and people have made lots of suggestions. But the Big-R word has been around a long time.  Instead, I say we keep the word ‘Retirement’ and just add a tag line:
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So YOU GO, TOM BRADY! And when interviewed next time, just smile and say
 "Imagine the Possibilities!"
Loretta
*Voldemort, also known as 'The Dark Lord' in the Harry Potter series, was so evil that even his name was not to be spoken.
*Oxford Languages is the world’s leading dictionary publisher, with over 150 years of experience creating and delivering authoritative dictionaries globally in more than 50 languages.

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Podcast Episode 4: In Retirement, Be a Teacher, a Student, ... or Both!

12/3/2021

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Episode 4 focuses on being a lifelong learner.

What if I told you that you can take noncredit courses on university campuses with no assignments or grades?  

In my conversation with retired Vanderbilt University Professor Dr. Ed Friedman, we talk about resources for retirees who love learning. Whether you want to be the student or the teacher, the Osher Lifelong Learning Institute (OLLI) offers intellectually stimulating ways to fill your days in retirement as well as a chance to meet people with similar interests.  
WATCH PODCAST
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About our Episode Guest

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Edward H. Friedman
Retired Vanderbilt University Professor & Osher Life Long Learning Program teacher
[email protected]
Olli (Osher Lifelong Learing Institute)
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Can We Have a Halloween Group Hug Now?!

10/21/2021

10 Comments

 
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Despite the availability and access to the Covid-19 vaccine, there is still a lot of stress circulating around Halloween this year. We all didn't imagine we'd still be feeling this way a year later, but here we are! So, I wanted to reshare last year's Halloween post, which still resonates.
~~
​
Lately, I've gotten a lot of requests for my services as a Life/Retirement/Transition Coach. This time, I immediately thought the answer was group coaching.

Normally, I don’t share information about clients, but in order to help you understand that we need to reach out and help each other, I have obtained releases from anyone involved in this note.  

​Last week I held a group session with five attendees. Each had their own issues, and each was truly concerned. I’m sure you will recognize them: 
Wanda, the Witch
Cornelia, the Candy Corn
Casper, the Friendly Ghost
Terry, the Tarantula
Peter, the Pumpkin
I asked each in turn “What is going on?” and here are their answers:
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Wanda: “It’s becoming more and more common. You’ve seen it, and you’ve probably even laughed at it. Well, last week it happened to me.”

SLAM! There I was, face flat into the tree

​I gave her a questioning look.

“I was on my broom and one of my earbuds fell out. I had to look down to retrieve it - and SLAM! There I was, face flat into the tree. I heard people laughing! Why didn’t my radar warn me about the tree? Am I getting too old? Should I retire?”​
​

Cornelia: She spoke softly and made eye contact with each member of the group.

“Look, as early as the 1880s I became popular. My three colorful layers are attractive, and I’m small and easy to eat.”

​She teared up. 

Ok, Ok, I guess I should just retire - right

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“At least I WAS easy to eat. I’m the most fun to eat by the handful! And, I mean, really, with COVID-19 people don’t want to eat anything by the handful!”

She started to sob.
​
“I’m fat free and keep in the refrigerator for up to 9 months, but nobody really wants me now... Ok, Ok, I guess I should just retire – right?”

Casper was next.
 
Casper: "Yeah, it’s not rocket science. You all know me – you know me by my full name, ‘Casper the Friendly Ghost.'"

He started to smile a little, and then the smile faded.
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“That’s right; I’m a non-conformist. I’d rather make friends than scare people. I know I’m different from the rest of the haunt team, but it is who I am. I like people; I’ve made friends before. I don’t like scaring them.”

Wanda started to snicker.

“Whoever heard of a friendly ghost?” she muttered. I had to shhh! her.

“And now there is COVID-19,” Casper continued. “People can’t even be with their regular friends, so you can bet no one wants to talk to a friendly ghost! What should I do? I have a lot of years ahead of me!”

Then it was Terry’s turn.

Terry: “Ha – you think you guys have issues? You think you don’t know what to do ‘next’? When I was a little tiny tarantula, my Mama told me I was cute. Then I left the nest, and it all ended.”

He looked around, daring people to challenge him.
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He looked around, daring people to challenge him.

“I remember the first time I became aware of Halloween! Look around, guys! Do you notice how many phony spiders people put out – on the lawn/on the bushes/crawling up the front of the house! THEY ARE ALL TARANTULAS! What do you think this does to my self-image?”

Everyone got quiet.

“I know, I crawl; I have long hairy legs, and I have eight eyes. But I’m harmless to people! If I bite, it’s no worse than a bee sting – okay? Look it up! So, what’s a young guy like me to do with a reputation like that?”

Wanda started muttering again. “Maybe you remind people of the COVID virus,” she whispered. 

I talked over her. “Ok, Peter, it’s your turn.”

"Let's face it, the pumpkin is the
​symbol for both Fall and Halloween"

Peter: “Well, in comparison, maybe my problem is not so bad. I mean, let’s face it, the pumpkin is the symbol for both Fall and Halloween."
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​​“I know, I’ve been pretty lucky over the years - always the one up front – inside and outside – enjoying the popularity and fun.

His voice softened.

“But then, enter plastic and inflatables. Enter strange colors and shapes. How can I keep up with those inexpensive, use year-to-year decorations? Even on the flavor side – so many cheaper, easy-to-use imitations! In chips/pancake mix/coffee – even donuts!

​People are pumpkin crazy, but they are not using the real thing!”


He looked up at me and sighed.

“And now COVID-19. There used to be pumpkin carving parties. Now no one is gathering groups together to sit close and carve. I may be able to hold out for a few more years, but I need a plan, a new direction. Should I retire?”

I let the air settle for a few minutes. Group sessions are not easy. A person (or a pumpkin) can listen and feel their issue is not so bad, or the participant can take on everyone’s problems and go away feeling worse.

I decided there was only one answer and it applied to the whole group.
“I think,” (I said carefully)
“The answer for all of you is the same:
1. Decide what you really want.
2. Think of ways to reidentify yourself.
3. Find a new path to reach your goal. "
Ask yourself important questions like
Wanda – How much of who you are is your broom?
Cornelia – In what other ways can the world use candy corn?
Casper & Terry – Especially during this time of COVID-19, it’s best you stay under the radar. What if you two got together and taught a class about ghosts and spiders on Zoom?
Peter – With a legacy like yours, why not share your life story with the rest of the world? Who do you know that can help with the writing?

A person (or a pumpkin) can listen and feel their issue is not so bad, or the participant can take on everyone’s problems and go away feeling worse.

Before I left the room, I looked around and smiled. “Of course, If you want to talk more about planning for the days and years ahead, give me a call!”

As the door shut, I heard Casper shout:

“That was amazing! Ok, everybody, MASKS ON – Let’s have a Group Hug!”
~ HAPPY HALLOWEEN 
-Loretta
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I've Got a (Second) Secret - a Tech Talk

9/24/2021

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*Warning*
This blog may offend you. 
In it I speak to you straight,
no beating around the bush.

Yes, I’ve got a second secret. Remember when I told you that one of the first secrets of dealing with adjusting to changes in life - including enjoying a successful retirement - is having a positive attitude? Well, that is absolutely right. (If you slept through that lesson, go back and read it again.)
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But there is more. Regardless of how old you are, I’m pretty sure you do not want to face years of waking up wondering what you can do today and why you should do it. I’m pretty sure your goals do not include lack of curiosity and years of watching others enjoy their days feeling full of purpose, while you sit in front of the TV. If I’m wrong, skip this blog and check today’s tv guide.
 
That said, here is my second secret:

Learn How To Use Technology!

Yes, you read that correctly. It won’t help for you to whine or squirm or say things like, “I’m too old” “It’s too hard” “Leave me alone.” In fact, you won’t even have to say the “Leave me alone” part because that train will have already left the station.​
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Plainly speaking, if you don't attempt to learn the basics of using the computer and your smart phone, you will be left out...

... of both the virtual world and increasingly many IRL "in real life" events as well. I'm talking about activities such as booking and confirming appointments and events with friends, doctors, restaurants / listening to music and watching TV and movies / communicating with the world outside your home.
 

There, I’ve said it. So put on your big boy/girl pants and get ready to learn.

Let's Start By Asking the Right Questions

1. WHO?
Who needs to learn and Who can teach
WHO needs to learn? You do! Yes, you - along with anyone else who feels like they don't have a good basic grasp of current smart phone and internet technology or who simply does not want to be left out.

​Who can teach? The first people I recommend for you to turn to is your family -
  • Significant Other
  • Kids/Grandkids
  • Aunts
  • Uncles
  • Cousins
  • Results of ancestry.com

If those come up empty, try friends and neighbors or a volunteer organization. You may have to pay some of these people but trust me, it will be worth it. Maybe you can barter - bake/consult/garden, or offer a skill in which you excel.
​
The point is don’t be shy or try to overthink it. Just do it.
2. WHAT?
What technology should you master first?
  • The basics of the computer hardware – keyboard/screen/mouse/video camera or touchpad/power, printer, etc.
  • Then, basic usage of those devices: accessing and searching the internet/reading and writing emails/ joining a Zoom meeting / accessing news or entertainment, etc.
  • I am assuming you already have some sort of phone to stay in touch. Ask for lessons on how to use it beyond dialing a number, including text and instant messaging. That is how much of the world communicates now.
My purpose is not to scold or belittle. My purpose is to get you in touch with what is out there today – sort of like my podcast, RESOURCES FOR A MODERN RETIREMENT – to help you help yourself enjoy every day to its fullest.
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3. WHERE?
Where should I learn?
Wherever it is easiest for you. If you don’t have a computer, ask the person who will teach you if you can work on theirs. If you can afford it, then purchase a computer (desktop or laptop), tablet, smartphone, or other electronic device. If someone who cares about your future would like to buy you a gift, put it on the list. In the meantime, practice your lessons by going to the library or borrowing a device.
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4. WHEN?
When is the right time to start learning?
Now. Today. Get Started. 
5. WHY?
Why do I need to learn this stuff now?
​I don't even need or want a device.
You need to learn this so you won’t be left behind. The reality is that the world is now more digital than not. Most individuals and businesses communicate via text message and/or email. Want to find a phone number or address? ... it's online. Can't find the manual for your vacuum? ... it's online. Need to access your banking information without going to the bank? ... it's online. Want to watch a movie? ... it's online. Especially in the age of Covid, everything you need can be accessed virtually, if you know how. 
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and
6. HOW?
How do I find the information I need to learn?
There are lots of ways for you to learn. If you already know how to get online to the internet, YouTube is a great resource for "how-tos". If you aren't comfortable yet searching online, take a trip to your local library or bookstore. Ask for the "Dummies" series of books on digital literacy. The National Institute on Aging has some helpful glossaries of computer and internet terms.  Go ahead, try those.

​ If you are the one doing the teaching, here is a great guide to help teach tech to seniors.
I won’t give you homework like finding friends from high school or using Google Earth to walk down your street. (But you've got to admit those sound kind of interesting!)

Yes,I do understand that things like passwords and email addresses and saving documents and pictures can be frustrating and challenging, but getting comfortable with these technologies will lessen frustration and open a new world for you and a way to explore your curiosity and create new goals.

Go ahead – you have a new goal now. Have fun!

​You're welcome, 
Loretta
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    Author

    Loretta Saff, M.A., CPC, CPRC
    As an active writer, both nationally and internationally, Loretta Saff's humor columns, blog, and lifestyle articles reflect an insight in dealing with situations that helps people get to their core issues and encourage confidence, trust and support.

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