The reason I’m offering you a small crossword puzzle this month is that the tag line for my website at www.coachingwithloretta.com is: "Life’s a puzzle and sometimes you just need |
Across 2. What you will need to get you up every morning. 4. It’s not just about the money. 5. Seeing the glass half full shows you are full of this. 6. Make new ones and keep the old. | Down 1. When you have this, you have everything. 2. This puts you on your path to success. 3. Asking what? Who? Why? - Describes this important trait. |
P.S. This column was originally written for The Observer, but I have created a PDF version of the crossword puzzle that you can print out. You can download it here.
There is no right or wrong way to do it. There is no required length. You can jot down, draw pictures, create paragraphs, poems, or even lyrics reflecting your thoughts and feelings. (Think Taylor Swift!) The only strong suggestion is that research has shown writing daily (or almost every day) offers much greater results.
For the purpose of any life transition – and especially relating to retirement -journaling is extremely beneficial because it:
- can help you set and accomplish goals.
- is a place to express gratitude.
- puts you in the present instead of the past.
- allows you to express your true thoughts and feelings.
By the way, no one else reads it. It’s yours to keep and reread if you like or to simply embrace the time as private minutes between you and your thoughts and feelings.
Happy Journaling!
Across 2. purpose 4. retirement 5. positivity 6. friends | Down 1. health 2. plan 3. curious |
(Author’s note: Sorry, but by the time you read this all slots will have been filled.)
I’m guessing you are familiar with the success of the two previous shows, The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. Well, this version’s contestants are all over 60, and the handsome bachelor making his choice stands by the tagline “It’s never too late to fall in love…, again!”
Maybe you don’t want to publicly be the next GOLDEN BACHELOR or BACHELORETTE, but I’m sure you want the life ahead to be full of connection, meaningful relationships, and the possibility of falling in love … again!
You want that spark that can re-ignite those endless possibilities!
What you really need is a good look at who you are now.
Step One*: Focus on being a positive and optimistic person.
2. You can direct this intentional activity to surrounding yourself with positive people. Recognize the people in your life that bring you down and become unavailable to them. If some are family, make a point of consciously avoiding large amounts of time together.
3. I’m giving you five things to do daily for 30 days that will help you train yourself to Make Happy a Habit!
- Upon waking every morning say out loud three things you are grateful for.
- At bedtime every night, write about a positive experience that occurred in the past 24 hours (one sentence or many about anything positive that occurred.)
- Exercise 20 minutes a day (can be done in two 10 - minute intervals, if necessary)
- Meditate five to seven minutes a day, either with an app (I like HEADSPACE) or just by listening to wordless music.
- Perform a daily random act of kindness. (let someone in front of you in traffic; say something nice to a cashier, etc.)
Loretta
[email protected]
*By the way, Steps Two, Three, and Four are "Repeat Step One."
RELATIONSHIPS, COLLEGE, MARRIAGE, PARENTING, EMPTY NESTERS, CHANGING JOBS, RETIREMENT!
- Change refers to the need to move away from the way things used to be to the way they are now.
- Transition is the psychological process we go through to adapt to the change.
To quote the author William Bridges, “Without transition, change is just a rearrangement of the furniture.”
There are three stages to TRANSITION:
Ok, so you have left work. You must accept the fact that your days will be different. You will no longer have the structure, calendar and organization you had before. Where you spend your day, and who you will be with will change.
Yes, you read that correctly. Accepting a Messy Middle is an important mindset to
have. Realizing that things really are different and that it will take time to figure out what you really want and how you will find your purpose to feel satisfied can be a bit uncomfortable (and messy) in the short term.
Take a victory lap! You have figured it out, so find comfort in this new beginning. You also can relax because you realize that you can tweak it along the way as you experience the many new adventures you have been curious about.
I leave you with the words of Dr. Seuss:
Loretta
It's hard to make it a priority with the busy lives we live but five simple daily activities can help you establish happy habits. Self-care can start to be something that you prioritize in your life. And now, more than ever, self-care and finding your way to happiness is important for your health and well-being and for those around you.
There is real science behind the emotions of happiness and love. Dr. Barbara Frederickson, Psychologist and Neuroscience Professor at UNC, Chapel Hill said, “The ways that we feel happiness and well-being are actually showing up in the cells of our immune system and supporting our health.”
The Make Happy a Habit challenge is one of my favorites. I did it in 2016 and 2021 and shared every step along the way. If you joined me in the past, I hope you found some inspiration from my journey for your own. If you're starting the journey now, be sure to tell me when you start feeling like HAPPY is becoming a habit.
I'll be posting my interview soon on my social networks below. Stay tuned!
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/makehappyahabit/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/makehappyahabit
Twitter: https://twitter.com/ACCOMPLISHCOACH/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ACCOMPLISHCOACH/
1. GUESS WHAT Number ... "Retirement" is on the list of 'Life's 43 most stressful life events'.
2. GUESS WHAT … it might mean if your work defines “who you are” rather than “what you do.”
3. GUESS WHAT … will happen if your social connections are mostly related to your workplace.
By the way, a Harvard Grant Study has shown that having a strong social connection in retirement not only helps people outlive those who don’t but also aids in delaying the onset of Alzheimer’s and dementia.
4. GUESS WHAT … sitting at a desk most of the day can cause.
5. GUESS WHAT … believing that “the best is yet to come” can encourage.
6. GUESS WHAT happens … when volunteering is what you want to do in retirement, but you don’t spend any time looking into it beforehand.
Think about what you would like to do for an organization, so you don’t get stuck making phone calls or stuffing envelopes (unless, of course, you like that!).
AND BY THE WAY… one more
7. GUESS WHAT happens … when you WRITE DOWN goals you want to achieve.
Research has shown that when goals are written down, it reminds us of what they are and what we need to do to achieve them. Just make sure you put the list in a place where you can easily find it.
Loretta
“HOBBIES? HOBBIES?
Loretta, do you really think I have time for HOBBIES?!” he ranted.
Call them HOBBIES or PASSIONS or even INTERESTS, making time in your life for things you enjoy - whether you are 25 or 65 - is important.
If you still need more convincing to get started now, here are three reasons that are backed by science:
1 - BETTER WORK PERFORMANCE
2 - IMPROVED PHYSICAL AND MENTAL HEALTH
3 - REDUCED STRESS
…and who wouldn’t be impressed by those reasons!
P.S. In case you missed it, recently the Mars Wrigley Corporation (owner of M&Ms) made some changes you can read about here. They decided their multicolored mascots were not reaching all of society in their ads. A change was necessary “to create a world where everyone feels they belong."
Start planning for retirement NOW to avoid finding yourself spending your days at home in front of the TV - with a bowl of M&Ms!
“That which cannot be named,” she uttered in her best Harry Potter-esque voice. I smiled and leaned in closer and whispered, “Are you talking about ‘Retirement’?”
“Shhh!” she hissed. “Seriously, don’t use that word anymore. It conveys the wrong message!”
“What in the world do you mean?” I asked. She sighed, and I felt like she was searching for a way to say something nicely. “You, of all people, should know.”
“Look,” I said, “I know there is a lot of misinterpretation about the word ‘Retirement,’ but really, … comparing it to *Voldemort?”
Emily shook her head. “Misinterpretation? People hear the Big-R word and think the person is over the hill, incapable of anything new and fresh…, and, basically, A HAS BEEN!”
My mouth dropped open. “Ok, here’s proof!” she said as she pulled out her phone and pointed to a webpage. “Just look at the definition from the fancy Oxford English Language Dictionary!”
1. giving up work, stopping work
2. seclusion, retreat, solitude, loneliness,
isolation, privacy, obscurity
Just like a Life Coach, a Retirement Coach helps people deal with life’s transitions.
“If it was my dictionary,” I continued, “Definition #2 would be something like,
"The opportunity and time to energize lifestyle,
renew interests, and create new adventures.”
She wiped some coffee from her chin and laughed out loud. “Ok, but what about other people’s reactions? I just saw Susan, and she was complaining that her neighbors think since she is around all the time, she can watch for their deliveries!” She paused, “And her kids think she is a full-time babysitter; they assume she’s always available.”
Today, more than 50% of retirees are working
part-time and others are volunteering or
busy learning something new.
Today, more than 50% of retirees are working part-time and others are volunteering or busy learning something new. It does not have to be solitude and loneliness!
“So,” Emily said. “What now? It’s obvious we need to do something about that word!” I smiled. “Well, you’re right and people have made lots of suggestions. But the Big-R word has been around a long time. Instead, I say we keep the word ‘Retirement’ and just add a tag line:
Loretta
*Voldemort, also known as 'The Dark Lord' in the Harry Potter series, was so evil that even his name was not to be spoken.
*Oxford Languages is the world’s leading dictionary publisher, with over 150 years of experience creating and delivering authoritative dictionaries globally in more than 50 languages.
Some do not do what they’re told
But I’m tired of being home and slow
So how to revive my get up and go?
But wait – do I listen to channel one or two?
Before, whenever when I had an ouchie
I followed the advice of Dr. Fauci!
But then science changed – from yes to no
Is the light red for stop or green for go?
Southwest says, “We’re careful and make a fuss”
American says, “Get in line; fly with us!”
A Doc* at Penn says it’s “Anxiety-One and Two”
So, consider them both – which are you?
Anxiety One cries – “There’s Covid out there!
It lurks, then strikes! It doesn’t care!”
Anxiety Two? Well, check this one out:
It’s the mixing with others that makes people pout.
They say, “It’s been so long.., but it’s ok now.”
Yet when socializing – they forget how!
- Strategy 1: Just Suspect Everybody!! Look – she is not social distancing! Watch out! That lady has her mask below her nose! OMG – that runner just coughed in my direction. I’m going home.
- Strategy 2: I Tiptoe – I’ll go to the patio (if it is big enough). I’ll go with no more than 2 friends (wait – do I still have two friends??) I’ll just Purell on the way out (Do they even have a dispenser?).
- Strategy 3: I’m Kinda Picky – Grocery Stores… no! unless it’s between 10:15 and 11 on M/T/W . well, Trader Joe’s is ok… since a lot that I buy is frozen or pre-packaged. Target …? HECK NO! (What? Oh, it’s big and lots of space, oh.. well…, maybe.)
- Strategy 4: I’m Not Stupid! Bigger venues? - Concerts? Movies? Are you serious? I heard they don’t even take the temperature when you walk in… The seats are too close together..,, groups walk in and just sit anywhere! NO WAY!
- Strategy 5: Actually, IT’S ALL GOOD! – I want to go to restaurants and relax. So what if I change tables three times and open several windows! So what if I ask for a paper menu! At least I’m getting out.
What’s YOUR strategy?
Oh, and Bon Voyage!
There is real science behind the emotions of happiness and love. Dr. Barbara Frederickson, Psychologist and Neuroscience Professor at UNC, Chapel Hill said, “The ways that we feel happiness and well-being are actually showing up in the cells of our immune system and supporting our health.”
I did a 30-day Make Happy a Habit challenge back in 2016 and now I'm ready for a refresher 2021-style!
I'll be starting my 2021 challenge on March 1. Follow along with my progress and hopefully you'll find some inspiration from my journey for your own. I'd love for you to join me ... Share your progress … Post some pictures of what you are grateful for and what makes you happy. I want to know how your random acts of kindness and writing about your positive experiences made you feel. Tell me about your time in meditation. And be sure to tell me when you start feeling like HAPPY is becoming a habit.
I'll be posting all month long at:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/makehappyahabit/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/makehappyahabit
Twitter: https://twitter.com/ACCOMPLISHCOACH/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ACCOMPLISHCOACH/
Hope you join me!
Loretta
Author
Loretta Saff, M.A., CPC, CPRC
As an active writer, both nationally and internationally, Loretta Saff's humor columns, blog, and lifestyle articles reflect an insight in dealing with situations that helps people get to their core issues and encourage confidence, trust and support.
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