 I’ve always said that in life one thing we can surely count on is change. Sometimes we can plan for it and sometimes it is thrust upon us. Sometimes we’ve grown older and wiser, and sometimes we’ve simply become bored. Consider: RELATIONSHIPS, COLLEGE, MARRIAGE, PARENTING, EMPTY NESTERS, CHANGING JOBS, RETIREMENT!When facing a change, we often say, “Well, it’s a transition. Change offers challenges, adventure, and an opportunity to grow.” All that is true, but the words ‘change’ and ‘transition’ have two different meanings. Here’s the difference:
To quote the author William Bridges, “Without transition, change is just a rearrangement of the furniture.” Think about that for a moment. Now, think about how it relates to Retirement. Transition requires a psychological process to have a successful change. There are three stages to TRANSITION:Stage 1: Accepting the Ending – Long Goodbye Ok, so you have left work. You must accept the fact that your days will be different. You will no longer have the structure, calendar and organization you had before. Where you spend your day, and who you will be with will change. Stage 2: Living in the Neutral Zone – Messy Middle Yes, you read that correctly. Accepting a Messy Middle is an important mindset to have. Realizing that things really are different and that it will take time to figure out what you really want and how you will find your purpose to feel satisfied can be a bit uncomfortable (and messy) in the short term. Stage 3: Reaching Your New Beginning Take a victory lap! You have figured it out, so find comfort in this new beginning. You also can relax because you realize that you can tweak it along the way as you experience the many new adventures you have been curious about. Those are the facts. If you jump from Stage 1 directly to Stage 3, you may find yourself very unhappy. Spend some time in Stage 2 (the Messy Middle) so you can really enjoy that victory lap! I leave you with the words of Dr. Seuss: Let me know if you need a little help. Loretta 
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 I did a 30-day Make Happy a Habit challenge back in 2016 and 2021 and now I get the chance to share it with the viewers of WKRN's Local on 2 with Larissa and Laura. It's hard to make it a priority with the busy lives we live but five simple daily activities can help you establish happy habits. Self-care can start to be something that you prioritize in your life. And now, more than ever, self-care and finding your way to happiness is important for your health and well-being and for those around you. There is real science behind the emotions of happiness and love. Dr. Barbara Frederickson, Psychologist and Neuroscience Professor at UNC, Chapel Hill said, “The ways that we feel happiness and well-being are actually showing up in the cells of our immune system and supporting our health.” The Make Happy a Habit challenge is one of my favorites. I did it in 2016 and 2021 and shared every step along the way. If you joined me in the past, I hope you found some inspiration from my journey for your own. If you're starting the journey now, be sure to tell me when you start feeling like HAPPY is becoming a habit. I'll be posting my interview soon on my social networks below. Stay tuned! Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/makehappyahabit/ Loretta
 1. GUESS WHAT Number ... "Retirement" is on the list of 'Life's 43 most stressful life events'.It’s #10! And that’s why I say we need to talk about your plans. Some people might find the transition easy, but many retirees are truly stressed at the challenge of creating a new identity and purpose. 2. GUESS WHAT … it might mean if your work defines “who you are” rather than “what you do.”It will make leaving your workplace more difficult. Think about how you will introduce yourself when you retire, and please don’t say ‘I used to be!’ Thinking about who you are NOW and what you want NOW will help you create the things you will be retiring TO. 3. GUESS WHAT … will happen if your social connections are mostly related to your workplace.It will probably be a lot harder to replace those connections. Finding new friends and interests before you leave your job will create a ready community of people you like to spend time with when you do retire. By the way, a Harvard Grant Study has shown that having a strong social connection in retirement not only helps people outlive those who don’t but also aids in delaying the onset of Alzheimer’s and dementia. 4. GUESS WHAT … sitting at a desk most of the day can cause.Complicated physical issues that can interfere with your retirement plans. Get up and get moving! Those grandkids want to play hide and seek. Your condo wants you to be on the pickleball team, and the dog just brought you his leash asking for a long walk. You don’t want to miss out on any of that – do you? 5. GUESS WHAT … believing that “the best is yet to come” can encourage.Fresh ideas and possibilities! Having a positive mental outlook is not just being a cockeyed optimist. It helps you deal with change as well as giving you more energy for new opportunities and accomplishments. It also makes you more resilient so you can more easily handle the other ‘stuff’ that comes your way. 6. GUESS WHAT happens … when volunteering is what you want to do in retirement, but you don’t spend any time looking into it beforehand.You will probably waste time searching for appropriate opportunities and get stuck in roles you don’t like. Start early thinking about organizations you want to help and make some inquiries. Think about what you would like to do for an organization, so you don’t get stuck making phone calls or stuffing envelopes (unless, of course, you like that!). AND BY THE WAY… one more 7. GUESS WHAT happens … when you WRITE DOWN goals you want to achieve.Whether it’s a trip to Machu Picchu or creating an online creative cooking club, you will be more likely to achieve your goal if it is WRITTEN DOWN. (You’ve probably already done it on the financial side. Now do the same for all those non-financial issues!) Research has shown that when goals are written down, it reminds us of what they are and what we need to do to achieve them. Just make sure you put the list in a place where you can easily find it. No more guessing. Having a little extra information makes you smarter. Now you have it, so get started! Loretta  I recently worked with an executive who was thinking about retirement. In one of our initial sessions, I asked him about his hobbies. “HOBBIES? HOBBIES? |
 | “Since he’d already mapped out his plan, when he was needed he rushed to the phone booth, took off his shirt and glasses, and he became SUPERMAN!!” She was wondering if I was serious, so I continued, |
“Here’s another example - suppose you decide to get fit and enter a half marathon. You wouldn’t just get up that morning, put on a good pair of running shoes and join the race - hoping to get to the finish line, right?! You’d map out a training program to make sure you were prepared to succeed.”
She wiped some coffee from her chin and laughed out loud. “Ok, but what about other people’s reactions? I just saw Susan, and she was complaining that her neighbors think since she is around all the time, she can watch for their deliveries!” She paused, “And her kids think she is a full-time babysitter; they assume she’s always available.”
She wiped some coffee from her chin and laughed out loud. “Ok, but what about other people’s reactions? I just saw Susan, and she was complaining that her neighbors think since she is around all the time, she can watch for their deliveries!” She paused, “And her kids think she is a full-time babysitter; they assume she’s always available.”
Today, more than 50% of retirees are working
part-time and others are volunteering or
busy learning something new.
I smiled and shook my head. “Stop worrying about other people! The fact is that it’s smart to approach retirement with a plan and an attitude of adventure and creativity.
Today, more than 50% of retirees are working part-time and others are volunteering or busy learning something new. It does not have to be solitude and loneliness!
“So,” Emily said. “What now? It’s obvious we need to do something about that word!” I smiled. “Well, you’re right and people have made lots of suggestions. But the Big-R word has been around a long time. Instead, I say we keep the word ‘Retirement’ and just add a tag line:
Today, more than 50% of retirees are working part-time and others are volunteering or busy learning something new. It does not have to be solitude and loneliness!
“So,” Emily said. “What now? It’s obvious we need to do something about that word!” I smiled. “Well, you’re right and people have made lots of suggestions. But the Big-R word has been around a long time. Instead, I say we keep the word ‘Retirement’ and just add a tag line:
Maybe I should print up tee shirts!
Loretta
*Voldemort, also known as 'The Dark Lord' in the Harry Potter series, was so evil that even his name was not to be spoken.
*Oxford Languages is the world’s leading dictionary publisher, with over 150 years of experience creating and delivering authoritative dictionaries globally in more than 50 languages.
Loretta
*Voldemort, also known as 'The Dark Lord' in the Harry Potter series, was so evil that even his name was not to be spoken.
*Oxford Languages is the world’s leading dictionary publisher, with over 150 years of experience creating and delivering authoritative dictionaries globally in more than 50 languages.
Some are young and some are old
Some do not do what they’re told
But I’m tired of being home and slow
So how to revive my get up and go?
Some do not do what they’re told
But I’m tired of being home and slow
So how to revive my get up and go?
At first, I thought answers on TV would do
But wait – do I listen to channel one or two?
Before, whenever when I had an ouchie
I followed the advice of Dr. Fauci!
But then science changed – from yes to no
Is the light red for stop or green for go?
Southwest says, “We’re careful and make a fuss”
American says, “Get in line; fly with us!”
A Doc* at Penn says it’s “Anxiety-One and Two”
So, consider them both – which are you?
Anxiety One cries – “There’s Covid out there!
It lurks, then strikes! It doesn’t care!”
Anxiety Two? Well, check this one out:
It’s the mixing with others that makes people pout.
They say, “It’s been so long.., but it’s ok now.”
Yet when socializing – they forget how!
But wait – do I listen to channel one or two?
Before, whenever when I had an ouchie
I followed the advice of Dr. Fauci!
But then science changed – from yes to no
Is the light red for stop or green for go?
Southwest says, “We’re careful and make a fuss”
American says, “Get in line; fly with us!”
A Doc* at Penn says it’s “Anxiety-One and Two”
So, consider them both – which are you?
Anxiety One cries – “There’s Covid out there!
It lurks, then strikes! It doesn’t care!”
Anxiety Two? Well, check this one out:
It’s the mixing with others that makes people pout.
They say, “It’s been so long.., but it’s ok now.”
Yet when socializing – they forget how!
To better understand this Covid-era dilemma, I recently sent out a survey to find out how people feel about ‘getting out’ and searching for their New Normal. I found that basically there are 5 strategies:
- Strategy 1: Just Suspect Everybody!! Look – she is not social distancing! Watch out! That lady has her mask below her nose! OMG – that runner just coughed in my direction. I’m going home.
- Strategy 2: I Tiptoe – I’ll go to the patio (if it is big enough). I’ll go with no more than 2 friends (wait – do I still have two friends??) I’ll just Purell on the way out (Do they even have a dispenser?).
- Strategy 3: I’m Kinda Picky – Grocery Stores… no! unless it’s between 10:15 and 11 on M/T/W . well, Trader Joe’s is ok… since a lot that I buy is frozen or pre-packaged. Target …? HECK NO! (What? Oh, it’s big and lots of space, oh.. well…, maybe.)
- Strategy 4: I’m Not Stupid! Bigger venues? - Concerts? Movies? Are you serious? I heard they don’t even take the temperature when you walk in… The seats are too close together..,, groups walk in and just sit anywhere! NO WAY!
- Strategy 5: Actually, IT’S ALL GOOD! – I want to go to restaurants and relax. So what if I change tables three times and open several windows! So what if I ask for a paper menu! At least I’m getting out.
What’s YOUR strategy?
Oh, and Bon Voyage!
Loretta
* Lily Brown, director of the Center for the Treatment and Study of Anxiety at the University of Pennsylvania’s Perelman School of Medicine
Author
Loretta Saff, M.A., CPC, CPRC
As an active writer, both nationally and internationally, Loretta Saff's humor columns, blog, and lifestyle articles reflect an insight in dealing with situations that helps people get to their core issues and encourage confidence, trust and support.
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