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Can We Have a Halloween Group Hug Now?!

10/21/2021

9 Comments

 
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Despite the availability and access to the Covid-19 vaccine, there is still a lot of stress circulating around Halloween this year. We all didn't imagine we'd still be feeling this way a year later, but here we are! So, I wanted to reshare last year's Halloween post, which still resonates.
~~
​
Lately, I've gotten a lot of requests for my services as a Life/Retirement/Transition Coach. This time, I immediately thought the answer was group coaching.

Normally, I don’t share information about clients, but in order to help you understand that we need to reach out and help each other, I have obtained releases from anyone involved in this note.  

​Last week I held a group session with five attendees. Each had their own issues, and each was truly concerned. I’m sure you will recognize them: 
Wanda, the Witch
Cornelia, the Candy Corn
Casper, the Friendly Ghost
Terry, the Tarantula
Peter, the Pumpkin
I asked each in turn “What is going on?” and here are their answers:
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Wanda: “It’s becoming more and more common. You’ve seen it, and you’ve probably even laughed at it. Well, last week it happened to me.”

SLAM! There I was, face flat into the tree

​I gave her a questioning look.

“I was on my broom and one of my earbuds fell out. I had to look down to retrieve it - and SLAM! There I was, face flat into the tree. I heard people laughing! Why didn’t my radar warn me about the tree? Am I getting too old? Should I retire?”​
​

Cornelia: She spoke softly and made eye contact with each member of the group.

“Look, as early as the 1880s I became popular. My three colorful layers are attractive, and I’m small and easy to eat.”

​She teared up. 

Ok, Ok, I guess I should just retire - right

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“At least I WAS easy to eat. I’m the most fun to eat by the handful! And, I mean, really, with COVID-19 people don’t want to eat anything by the handful!”

She started to sob.
​
“I’m fat free and keep in the refrigerator for up to 9 months, but nobody really wants me now... Ok, Ok, I guess I should just retire – right?”

Casper was next.
 
Casper: "Yeah, it’s not rocket science. You all know me – you know me by my full name, ‘Casper the Friendly Ghost.'"

He started to smile a little, and then the smile faded.
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“That’s right; I’m a non-conformist. I’d rather make friends than scare people. I know I’m different from the rest of the haunt team, but it is who I am. I like people; I’ve made friends before. I don’t like scaring them.”

Wanda started to snicker.

“Whoever heard of a friendly ghost?” she muttered. I had to shhh! her.

“And now there is COVID-19,” Casper continued. “People can’t even be with their regular friends, so you can bet no one wants to talk to a friendly ghost! What should I do? I have a lot of years ahead of me!”

Then it was Terry’s turn.

Terry: “Ha – you think you guys have issues? You think you don’t know what to do ‘next’? When I was a little tiny tarantula, my Mama told me I was cute. Then I left the nest, and it all ended.”

He looked around, daring people to challenge him.
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He looked around, daring people to challenge him.

“I remember the first time I became aware of Halloween! Look around, guys! Do you notice how many phony spiders people put out – on the lawn/on the bushes/crawling up the front of the house! THEY ARE ALL TARANTULAS! What do you think this does to my self-image?”

Everyone got quiet.

“I know, I crawl; I have long hairy legs, and I have eight eyes. But I’m harmless to people! If I bite, it’s no worse than a bee sting – okay? Look it up! So, what’s a young guy like me to do with a reputation like that?”

Wanda started muttering again. “Maybe you remind people of the COVID virus,” she whispered. 

I talked over her. “Ok, Peter, it’s your turn.”

"Let's face it, the pumpkin is the
​symbol for both Fall and Halloween"

Peter: “Well, in comparison, maybe my problem is not so bad. I mean, let’s face it, the pumpkin is the symbol for both Fall and Halloween."
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​​“I know, I’ve been pretty lucky over the years - always the one up front – inside and outside – enjoying the popularity and fun.

His voice softened.

“But then, enter plastic and inflatables. Enter strange colors and shapes. How can I keep up with those inexpensive, use year-to-year decorations? Even on the flavor side – so many cheaper, easy-to-use imitations! In chips/pancake mix/coffee – even donuts!

​People are pumpkin crazy, but they are not using the real thing!”


He looked up at me and sighed.

“And now COVID-19. There used to be pumpkin carving parties. Now no one is gathering groups together to sit close and carve. I may be able to hold out for a few more years, but I need a plan, a new direction. Should I retire?”

I let the air settle for a few minutes. Group sessions are not easy. A person (or a pumpkin) can listen and feel their issue is not so bad, or the participant can take on everyone’s problems and go away feeling worse.

I decided there was only one answer and it applied to the whole group.
“I think,” (I said carefully)
“The answer for all of you is the same:
1. Decide what you really want.
2. Think of ways to reidentify yourself.
3. Find a new path to reach your goal. "
Ask yourself important questions like
Wanda – How much of who you are is your broom?
Cornelia – In what other ways can the world use candy corn?
Casper & Terry – Especially during this time of COVID-19, it’s best you stay under the radar. What if you two got together and taught a class about ghosts and spiders on Zoom?
Peter – With a legacy like yours, why not share your life story with the rest of the world? Who do you know that can help with the writing?

A person (or a pumpkin) can listen and feel their issue is not so bad, or the participant can take on everyone’s problems and go away feeling worse.

Before I left the room, I looked around and smiled. “Of course, If you want to talk more about planning for the days and years ahead, give me a call!”

As the door shut, I heard Casper shout:

“That was amazing! Ok, everybody, MASKS ON – Let’s have a Group Hug!”
~ HAPPY HALLOWEEN 
-Loretta
9 Comments
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    Author

    Loretta Saff, M.A., CPC, CPRC
    As an active writer, both nationally and internationally, Loretta Saff's humor columns, blog, and lifestyle articles reflect an insight in dealing with situations that helps people get to their core issues and encourage confidence, trust and support.

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