 The reason I’m offering you a small crossword puzzle this month is that the tag line for my website at www.coachingwithloretta.com is: "Life’s a puzzle and sometimes you just need |
| Across 2. What you will need to get you up every morning. 4. It’s not just about the money. 5. Seeing the glass half full shows you are full of this. 6. Make new ones and keep the old. | Down 1. When you have this, you have everything. 2. This puts you on your path to success. 3. Asking what? Who? Why? - Describes this important trait. |
So, grab a pen and get to work! If you have been paying attention to my columns, you will find the puzzle easy and full of the secrets to a successful transition. If you haven’t, you can just make some good guesses for the seven hints. Good luck! (Don’t worry – the answers are at the bottom.)
P.S. This column was originally written for The Observer, but I have created a PDF version of the crossword puzzle that you can print out. You can download it here.
P.S. This column was originally written for The Observer, but I have created a PDF version of the crossword puzzle that you can print out. You can download it here.
Meanwhile, as long as you have your pens handy, let’s talk about journaling. Journaling simply means keeping a record of your personal thoughts, feelings and insights. It is different from a diary in that a diary is used to record daily activities.
 | Don’t go into “but I’m not a good writer,” or “I just don’t enjoy writing.” Those are answers for a class or a test or an evaluation. This is a relationship between you and yourself. |
Journaling has been shown to calm anxiety, reduce stress, enhance memory and help with prioritizing concerns. It is inexpensive - requiring no Lululemon outfit or Nike shoes - and it can be accomplished anywhere.
There is no right or wrong way to do it. There is no required length. You can jot down, draw pictures, create paragraphs, poems, or even lyrics reflecting your thoughts and feelings. (Think Taylor Swift!) The only strong suggestion is that research has shown writing daily (or almost every day) offers much greater results.
There is no right or wrong way to do it. There is no required length. You can jot down, draw pictures, create paragraphs, poems, or even lyrics reflecting your thoughts and feelings. (Think Taylor Swift!) The only strong suggestion is that research has shown writing daily (or almost every day) offers much greater results.
For the purpose of any life transition – and especially relating to retirement -journaling is extremely beneficial because it:
- can help you set and accomplish goals.
- is a place to express gratitude.
- puts you in the present instead of the past.
- allows you to express your true thoughts and feelings.
Find a notebook, choose a quiet secluded place, and begin journaling. Many people like to write in the morning when they first wake up. But you do you. Once you start, you will find the where and when that are just right.
By the way, no one else reads it. It’s yours to keep and reread if you like or to simply embrace the time as private minutes between you and your thoughts and feelings.
Happy Journaling!
By the way, no one else reads it. It’s yours to keep and reread if you like or to simply embrace the time as private minutes between you and your thoughts and feelings.
Happy Journaling!
Now, let’s check out the answers for that crossword. By the way, I may have given her the words and hints, but that beautiful crossword grid was created by my nine-year old granddaughter, Zoe Saff Sager. Thanks, Zoe!
| Across 2. purpose 4. retirement 5. positivity 6. friends | Down 1. health 2. plan 3. curious |
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My husband’s a mathematician – isn’t that scary! Sometimes people ask me what we talk about. Sometimes I’ll tell them that he whispers seductive equations in my ear – like “just think about the square root of eight hundred and twelve….” But most often he tells me - and most people - that “mathematics is everywhere.”
I certainly found it in a recent article on Retirement that I came across in Forbes Magazine. The author, Joseph Coughlin, a well-known researcher, teacher, and head of the MIT Age Lab, talked about “The New Math of Retirement Togetherness.”
I certainly found it in a recent article on Retirement that I came across in Forbes Magazine. The author, Joseph Coughlin, a well-known researcher, teacher, and head of the MIT Age Lab, talked about “The New Math of Retirement Togetherness.”
It went something like this: There are 164 hours in a week. During that time, approximately 8 hours a day are spent sleeping, leaving 112 waking hours in a week for each of us.
[No, this is not an SAT Math question.]
Now, if a typical workday is, say, 9 hours - that makes it minus 45 hours a week away from your partner. This brings it to 67 hours of together time. Then he continues his calculation by allowing an hour a day for travel, (subtracting 5 for the workdays) and brought the discussion to 62 hours of ‘togetherness’ in a week.
At this point Coughlin went on to narrow things down stating that life routines of home/child/personal responsibilities, etc., result in the fact that the reality is that a typical working couple may often spend only six (6) hours a day together! Quite a surprise when we do the math, right? (see box below)
At this point Coughlin went on to narrow things down stating that life routines of home/child/personal responsibilities, etc., result in the fact that the reality is that a typical working couple may often spend only six (6) hours a day together! Quite a surprise when we do the math, right? (see box below)
But that’s not quite the end of the math. Professor Coughlin then went on to compare this number to the number of hours couples spend together in RETIREMENT. This means: the original 45 hours a week of work that were subtracted are now added back. Oh, and so are the 5 allowed for travel.
So, let’s see, that’s now 45 + 5 = 50 divided by 5 =
AN EXTRA 10 WAKING HOURS A DAY
FOR A RETIRED COUPLE
TO SPEND TOGETHER!
AN EXTRA 10 WAKING HOURS A DAY
FOR A RETIRED COUPLE
TO SPEND TOGETHER!
Is that paradise? What will you do with that newly awarded together time? Suppose you already have a schedule and your partner questions your comings and goings, how will you react?
These are situations that you and your significant other must consider as retirement comes closer. What if your list of ‘things to do’ doesn’t match that of your partner’s? In fact, do you really want everything on your list to match that of your partner?
These are situations that you and your significant other must consider as retirement comes closer. What if your list of ‘things to do’ doesn’t match that of your partner’s? In fact, do you really want everything on your list to match that of your partner?
Just think about how smart and happy you (and your partner) will feel in retirement when you have already worked on these challenges! Everyone has different needs and activities that give them purpose and make them feel fulfilled. There will be things that you do together, but there must also be those separate activities that bring you joy.
I ran into a neighbor and his wife recently. He is an executive who is looking forward to leaving the deadlines and fundraising behind. I asked him how he plans to spend his time, and his wife immediately answered, “He’s going to paint the family room, clean out the garden, and join the choir so we can sing together on Sundays!” I looked at him and he rolled his eyes and said, “Do I have a choice?” The answer is “Yes, you do have a choice.” Discuss it now so you both can enjoy the added time together later.
I ran into a neighbor and his wife recently. He is an executive who is looking forward to leaving the deadlines and fundraising behind. I asked him how he plans to spend his time, and his wife immediately answered, “He’s going to paint the family room, clean out the garden, and join the choir so we can sing together on Sundays!” I looked at him and he rolled his eyes and said, “Do I have a choice?” The answer is “Yes, you do have a choice.” Discuss it now so you both can enjoy the added time together later.
 | Help yourself enjoy your retirement before you get there. Help your relationship with your partner by talking about and understanding each person’s wants and needs. Then, ON YOUR MARK…, GET SET…, GO! |
Good Luck,
Loretta
[email protected]
P.S. Last night, before he turned out the light, my husband whispered:
‘A’ squared plus ‘B’ squared = ‘C’ squared!
Loretta
[email protected]
P.S. Last night, before he turned out the light, my husband whispered:
‘A’ squared plus ‘B’ squared = ‘C’ squared!
 | When I started writing this month’s column, an ad for a new TV show caught my eye. |
It was an announcement that the casting website was still open for the new show, THE GOLDEN BACHELOR!
(Author’s note: Sorry, but by the time you read this all slots will have been filled.)
I’m guessing you are familiar with the success of the two previous shows, The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. Well, this version’s contestants are all over 60, and the handsome bachelor making his choice stands by the tagline “It’s never too late to fall in love…, again!”
(Author’s note: Sorry, but by the time you read this all slots will have been filled.)
I’m guessing you are familiar with the success of the two previous shows, The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. Well, this version’s contestants are all over 60, and the handsome bachelor making his choice stands by the tagline “It’s never too late to fall in love…, again!”
Instead of hearing older people referred to as a has been, a curmudgeon, cranky, elderly, and an old geezer, what a pleasure it is to hear this new description as “a lifetime of experience, including love, loss and laughter, and still hoping for a spark that ignites a future full of endless possibilities!”
Maybe you don’t want to publicly be the next GOLDEN BACHELOR or BACHELORETTE, but I’m sure you want the life ahead to be full of connection, meaningful relationships, and the possibility of falling in love … again!
Maybe you don’t want to publicly be the next GOLDEN BACHELOR or BACHELORETTE, but I’m sure you want the life ahead to be full of connection, meaningful relationships, and the possibility of falling in love … again!
You want that spark that can re-ignite those endless possibilities!
(By the way, this applies to current relationships as well as those that may occur in the future. Have you been married 30+ years and are feeling your partnership needs a boost? Maybe you are single and have realized that for years you put work first and took those around you for granted. You want to change. You want that spark that can re-ignite those endless possibilities!)
Did I just hear you say, “But how do I do that?” Well, you don’t have to wear red stilettos and a low-cut dress, nor do you require sporting a gold tailored suit and pink shirt by Armani (although sometimes a wardrobe makeover could be a great idea).
What you really need is a good look at who you are now.
What do you have to offer? Gerry (that’s the guy in the ad) hosts barbecues, plays pickleball, dotes on his grandkids and likes exploring new places with friends. You don’t have to do all that, but how about asking yourself if you are interesting, kind, and fun to be with?
Whether you think you already are or if you need a refresher course in being interesting, kind, and fun to be with, here’s what I suggest – especially during retirement:
Step One*: Focus on being a positive and optimistic person.
If you consider yourself negative, stop it. Yes, you can retrain your brain, so make it a priority in your life because:
1. Research has shown that 50% of your personality is predetermined, 10% is random, and 40% is your intentional activity. That means you are in control!
2. You can direct this intentional activity to surrounding yourself with positive people. Recognize the people in your life that bring you down and become unavailable to them. If some are family, make a point of consciously avoiding large amounts of time together.
3. I’m giving you five things to do daily for 30 days that will help you train yourself to Make Happy a Habit!
2. You can direct this intentional activity to surrounding yourself with positive people. Recognize the people in your life that bring you down and become unavailable to them. If some are family, make a point of consciously avoiding large amounts of time together.
3. I’m giving you five things to do daily for 30 days that will help you train yourself to Make Happy a Habit!
- Upon waking every morning say out loud three things you are grateful for.
- At bedtime every night, write about a positive experience that occurred in the past 24 hours (one sentence or many about anything positive that occurred.)
- Exercise 20 minutes a day (can be done in two 10 - minute intervals, if necessary)
- Meditate five to seven minutes a day, either with an app (I like HEADSPACE) or just by listening to wordless music.
- Perform a daily random act of kindness. (let someone in front of you in traffic; say something nice to a cashier, etc.)
| Why is this topic important in a column about retirement? Because in retirement you’ll have more time to spend; you’ll want to be involved in a lot of different fun and rewarding activities. And simply put, people like to be around positive people. |  |
Start practicing your Make Happy a Habit assignment now and enjoy noticing the effect you will have on others. Stick with it because it takes 30 days to make a habit.
Yes, it works. If you need some help discovering the road to your own happiness, contact me and we can talk.
Loretta
[email protected]
*By the way, Steps Two, Three, and Four are "Repeat Step One."
Loretta
[email protected]
*By the way, Steps Two, Three, and Four are "Repeat Step One."
~Also seen in the monthly Let's Talk Retirement! column in the Jewish Observer~
My husband’s a mathematician – isn’t that scary! Sometimes people ask me what we talk about. Sometimes I’ll tell them that he whispers seductive equations in my ear – like “just think about the square root of eight hundred and twelve…” But most often he tells me and most people that “mathematics is everywhere.”
I certainly found it in a recent article on retirement in Forbes Magazine. The author, Joseph Coughlin, a well-known researcher, teacher, and head of the MIT Age Lab, talked about “The New Math of Retirement Togetherness.”
It went something like this: There are 164 hours in a week. During that time, approximately 8 hours a day are spent sleeping, leaving 112 waking hours in a week for each of us. [No, this is not an SAT Math question.]
Now, if a typical workday is, say, 9 hours, that makes it minus 45 hours a week away from your partner. This brings it to 67 hours of together time. Then he continues his calculation by allowing an hour a day for travel (subtracting 5 for the workdays) and brought the discussion to 62 hours of ‘togetherness’ in a week.
I certainly found it in a recent article on retirement in Forbes Magazine. The author, Joseph Coughlin, a well-known researcher, teacher, and head of the MIT Age Lab, talked about “The New Math of Retirement Togetherness.”
It went something like this: There are 164 hours in a week. During that time, approximately 8 hours a day are spent sleeping, leaving 112 waking hours in a week for each of us. [No, this is not an SAT Math question.]
Now, if a typical workday is, say, 9 hours, that makes it minus 45 hours a week away from your partner. This brings it to 67 hours of together time. Then he continues his calculation by allowing an hour a day for travel (subtracting 5 for the workdays) and brought the discussion to 62 hours of ‘togetherness’ in a week.
6 Hours a Day vs 16 Hours a Day
At this point Coughlin went on to narrow things down stating that life routines of home/child/personal responsibilities, etc., result in the fact that the reality is that a typical couple may often spend only six (6) hours a day together. Quite a surprise when we actually do the math, right?
But that’s not quite the end of the math. Professor Coughlin then went on to compare this number to the number of hours couples spend together in RETIREMENT. This means that the original 45 hours a week of work that were subtracted are now added back. Oh, and so are the 5 allowed for travel. So, let’s see, that’s now 45 + 5 = 50 divided by 5 = an extra 10 waking hours a day for a retired couple to spend together!
But that’s not quite the end of the math. Professor Coughlin then went on to compare this number to the number of hours couples spend together in RETIREMENT. This means that the original 45 hours a week of work that were subtracted are now added back. Oh, and so are the 5 allowed for travel. So, let’s see, that’s now 45 + 5 = 50 divided by 5 = an extra 10 waking hours a day for a retired couple to spend together!
Is that paradise? What will you do with that newly awarded together time? Suppose you already have a schedule and your partner questions your comings and goings, how will you react?
These are situations that you and your significant other must consider as retirement comes closer. Sure, visions of the perfect dream vacations and spontaneous trips to see the grandkids come to mind. Golf, beach, gardening and bike rides bring smiles. But how often will you do those things?
These are situations that you and your significant other must consider as retirement comes closer. Sure, visions of the perfect dream vacations and spontaneous trips to see the grandkids come to mind. Golf, beach, gardening and bike rides bring smiles. But how often will you do those things?
Does Your List Match That of Your Partner's?
What if your list of ‘things to do’ doesn’t match that of your partner’s? In fact, do you really want everything on your list to match that of your partner?
Just think about how smart and happy you will feel in retirement when you and your partner have already worked on these challenges! Perhaps you explored the opportunities for starting a new business or offering consulting in an area you know well. You’ll feel glad you made new friends in that Saturday morning photography class you signed up for two years ago and have been enjoying ever since.
Just think about how smart and happy you will feel in retirement when you and your partner have already worked on these challenges! Perhaps you explored the opportunities for starting a new business or offering consulting in an area you know well. You’ll feel glad you made new friends in that Saturday morning photography class you signed up for two years ago and have been enjoying ever since.
And your partner will be especially happy to see you thrive. Everyone has different needs and activities that give them purpose and make them feel fulfilled. There will be things that you do together, but there must also be those separate activities that bring you joy. A few years before you retire is a great time to take a good look at who you are and what you really want.
I ran into a neighbor and his wife recently, when I was out walking the dog. He is an executive who is looking forward to leaving the deadlines and fundraising behind. I asked him how he plans to spend his time, and his wife immediately answered, “He’s going to paint the family room, clean out the garden, and join the choir so we can sing together on Sundays!” I looked at him and he rolled his eyes and said, “Do I have a choice?” The answer is “yes, you do have a choice.” Discuss it now so you both can enjoy the added time together later.
The Bureau of Statistics notes that a male at 65 has, on the average, another 20 years to live and enjoy life. A female has around 22 years. Here’s one more math note: that is another 1/3 of your life
How are you going to spend yours? Will you be looking at your partner every morning asking, “What are we going to do today?” Or are you going to be full of your own well-thought-out ideas and plans that sometimes are shared and sometimes accomplished on your own?
Help yourself enjoy your retirement by planning before you get there. Help your relationship with your partner by talking about and understanding each person’s wants and needs. Then,
Help yourself enjoy your retirement by planning before you get there. Help your relationship with your partner by talking about and understanding each person’s wants and needs. Then,
ON YOUR MARK, GET SET… GO!
Good Luck! Loretta
Good Luck! Loretta
P.S. Last night, before he turned out the light, my husband whispered:
‘A’ squared plus ‘B’ squared = ‘C’ squared!
‘A’ squared plus ‘B’ squared = ‘C’ squared!
#retirement #couples #relationships #planning
Author
Loretta Saff, M.A., CPC, CPRC
As an active writer, both nationally and internationally, Loretta Saff's humor columns, blog, and lifestyle articles reflect an insight in dealing with situations that helps people get to their core issues and encourage confidence, trust and support.
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