 Welcome to my new podcast, |
 | Wanda: “It’s becoming more and more common. You’ve seen it, and you’ve probably even laughed at it. Well, last week it happened to me.” |
SLAM! There I was, face flat into the tree
I gave her a questioning look.
“I was on my broom and one of my earbuds fell out. I had to look down to retrieve it - and SLAM! There I was, face flat into the tree. I heard people laughing! Why didn’t my radar warn me about the tree? Am I getting too old? Should I retire?”
Cornelia: She spoke softly and made eye contact with each member of the group.
“Look, as early as the 1880s I became popular. My three colorful layers are attractive, and I’m small and easy to eat.”
She teared up.
“Look, as early as the 1880s I became popular. My three colorful layers are attractive, and I’m small and easy to eat.”
She teared up.
Ok, Ok, I guess I should just retire - right?
“At least I WAS easy to eat. I’m the most fun to eat by the handful! And, I mean, really, with COVID-19 people don’t want to eat anything by the handful!”
She started to sob.
“I’m fat free and keep in the refrigerator for up to 9 months, but nobody really wants me now... Ok, Ok, I guess I should just retire – right?”
She started to sob.
“I’m fat free and keep in the refrigerator for up to 9 months, but nobody really wants me now... Ok, Ok, I guess I should just retire – right?”
Casper was next.
Casper: "Yeah, it’s not rocket science. You all know me – you know me by my full name, ‘Casper the Friendly Ghost.'"
He started to smile a little, and then the smile faded.
Casper: "Yeah, it’s not rocket science. You all know me – you know me by my full name, ‘Casper the Friendly Ghost.'"
He started to smile a little, and then the smile faded.
“That’s right; I’m a non-conformist. I’d rather make friends than scare people. I know I’m different from the rest of the haunt team, but it is who I am. I like people; I’ve made friends before. I don’t like scaring them.”
Wanda started to snicker.
“Whoever heard of a friendly ghost?” she muttered. I had to shhh! her.
“And now there is COVID-19,” Casper continued. “People can’t even be with their regular friends, so you can bet no one wants to talk to a friendly ghost! What should I do? I have a lot of years ahead of me!”
Then it was Terry’s turn.
Terry: “Ha – you think you guys have issues? You think you don’t know what to do ‘next’? When I was a little tiny tarantula, my Mama told me I was cute. Then I left the nest, and it all ended.”
He looked around, daring people to challenge him.
He looked around, daring people to challenge him.
“I remember the first time I became aware of Halloween! Look around, guys! Do you notice how many phony spiders people put out – on the lawn/on the bushes/crawling up the front of the house! THEY ARE ALL TARANTULAS! What do you think this does to my self-image?”
Everyone got quiet.
“I know, I crawl; I have long hairy legs, and I have eight eyes. But I’m harmless to people! If I bite, it’s no worse than a bee sting – okay? Look it up! So, what’s a young guy like me to do with a reputation like that?”
Wanda started muttering again. “Maybe you remind people of the COVID virus,” she whispered.
I talked over her. “Ok, Peter, it’s your turn.”
Everyone got quiet.
“I know, I crawl; I have long hairy legs, and I have eight eyes. But I’m harmless to people! If I bite, it’s no worse than a bee sting – okay? Look it up! So, what’s a young guy like me to do with a reputation like that?”
Wanda started muttering again. “Maybe you remind people of the COVID virus,” she whispered.
I talked over her. “Ok, Peter, it’s your turn.”
"Let's face it, the pumpkin is the
symbol for both Fall and Halloween"
Peter: “Well, in comparison, maybe my problem is not so bad. I mean, let’s face it, the pumpkin is the symbol for both Fall and Halloween."
“I know, I’ve been pretty lucky over the years - always the one up front – inside and outside – enjoying the popularity and fun.
His voice softened.
“But then, enter plastic and inflatables. Enter strange colors and shapes. How can I keep up with those inexpensive, use year-to-year decorations? Even on the flavor side – so many cheaper, easy-to-use imitations! In chips/pancake mix/coffee – even donuts!
People are pumpkin crazy, but they are not using the real thing!”
He looked up at me and sighed.
“And now COVID-19. There used to be pumpkin carving parties. Now no one is gathering groups together to sit close and carve. I may be able to hold out for a few more years, but I need a plan, a new direction. Should I retire?”
I let the air settle for a few minutes. Group sessions are not easy. A person (or a pumpkin) can listen and feel their issue is not so bad, or the participant can take on everyone’s problems and go away feeling worse.
I decided there was only one answer and it applied to the whole group.
“I think,” (I said carefully)
“The answer for all of you is the same:
1. Decide what you really want.
2. Think of ways to reidentify yourself.
3. Find a new path to reach your goal. "
“The answer for all of you is the same:
1. Decide what you really want.
2. Think of ways to reidentify yourself.
3. Find a new path to reach your goal. "
Ask yourself important questions like:
Wanda – How much of who you are is your broom?
Cornelia – In what other ways can the world use candy corn?
Casper & Terry – Especially during this time of COVID-19, it’s best you stay under the radar. What if you two got together and taught a class about ghosts and spiders on Zoom?
Peter – With a legacy like yours, why not share your life story with the rest of the world? Who do you know that can help with the writing?
Cornelia – In what other ways can the world use candy corn?
Casper & Terry – Especially during this time of COVID-19, it’s best you stay under the radar. What if you two got together and taught a class about ghosts and spiders on Zoom?
Peter – With a legacy like yours, why not share your life story with the rest of the world? Who do you know that can help with the writing?
A person (or a pumpkin) can listen and feel their issue is not so bad, or the participant can take on everyone’s problems and go away feeling worse.
Before I left the room, I looked around and smiled. “Of course, If you want to talk more about planning for the days and years ahead, give me a call!”
As the door shut, I heard Casper shout:
“That was amazing! Ok, everybody, MASKS ON – Let’s have a Group Hug!”
~ HAPPY HALLOWEEN ~
-Loretta
|
"If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change." -Wayne Dyer |
I recently came across this quote, and I liked it a lot. I thought about how much I miss traveling, so I decided to plan a trip - keeping the message in mind. It was a great experience. Here is my journal and a few pictures:
MY JOURNAL, 2020
“T’was the day of my travels…”
I just want to share
This trip during COVID
You’ll think you’ve been there!
On looking - On pausing-
On observing things-
What joy and excitement
Really NOTICING brings
I got up real early
To get a head start
So as not to miss out –
Now, isn’t that smart?
With my phone for pictures
I took a little blank book
To write down the adventure
I’ll call, “ Take a Good Look.”
The bedroom – it’s lovely
Those windows, great light!
Such pleasure I got
Enjoying the sight.
Then I looked at the wall
Saw the art in its frame
A beautiful flower…
Would I remember the name?
I just want to share
This trip during COVID
You’ll think you’ve been there!
On looking - On pausing-
On observing things-
What joy and excitement
Really NOTICING brings
I got up real early
To get a head start
So as not to miss out –
Now, isn’t that smart?
With my phone for pictures
I took a little blank book
To write down the adventure
I’ll call, “ Take a Good Look.”
The bedroom – it’s lovely
Those windows, great light!
Such pleasure I got
Enjoying the sight.
Then I looked at the wall
Saw the art in its frame
A beautiful flower…
Would I remember the name?
Ah, yes – it’s PROTEA!
The colors painted with flare
Then I smiled just remembering
Why we put it put there.
On looking - On pausing-
On observing things-
What joy and excitement
Really NOTICING brings
I knew where to go next.
I did not hesitate
The bathroom – so important -
Time to appreciate
The towels look pretty
All cream, black and white
A mirror reflecting -
The room looks so bright!
The colors painted with flare
Then I smiled just remembering
Why we put it put there.
On looking - On pausing-
On observing things-
What joy and excitement
Really NOTICING brings
I knew where to go next.
I did not hesitate
The bathroom – so important -
Time to appreciate
The towels look pretty
All cream, black and white
A mirror reflecting -
The room looks so bright!
Once showered and primped
I felt together and steady
With passport in hand
I was courageous and ready.
How often we travel
And almost always ignore
Things like fluffy, soft carpets
And a lovely tile floor.
I felt together and steady
With passport in hand
I was courageous and ready.
How often we travel
And almost always ignore
Things like fluffy, soft carpets
And a lovely tile floor.
On looking - On pausing-
On observing things-
What joy and excitement
Really NOTICING brings
The kitchen was next
I looked around with delight
Antique teapots and milk bottles
Were a beautiful sight
As I really looked at them
For the first time in a while
All the memories came;
They all made me smile
On observing things-
What joy and excitement
Really NOTICING brings
The kitchen was next
I looked around with delight
Antique teapots and milk bottles
Were a beautiful sight
As I really looked at them
For the first time in a while
All the memories came;
They all made me smile
The bottles with writing
Of unique shapes and sizes
Were found at flea markets
It was like winning prizes
And the teapots – all metal
From back in the day
Made such a happy
And colorful display
I opened the fridge
More colors I could see
Blueberries and strawberries,
And light green Kiwi.
It’s really important
I thought with a smile
To plan a trip to appreciate
Once in a while.
So start where you are;
Be your own wish-granting fairy!
Realize that your home
Can be the i-tin-er-ary!
On looking - On pausing-
On observing things-
What joy and excitement
Really NOTICING brings
Fortified, I continued
And explored all around.
There in the living room
My desk could be found
Of course, it’s familiar
Of course, I’m there every day
But now I could see it
In a new special way
The bookends - the rhinos
From that trip last fall
When was the last time
I noticed them at all?
Of unique shapes and sizes
Were found at flea markets
It was like winning prizes
And the teapots – all metal
From back in the day
Made such a happy
And colorful display
I opened the fridge
More colors I could see
Blueberries and strawberries,
And light green Kiwi.
It’s really important
I thought with a smile
To plan a trip to appreciate
Once in a while.
So start where you are;
Be your own wish-granting fairy!
Realize that your home
Can be the i-tin-er-ary!
On looking - On pausing-
On observing things-
What joy and excitement
Really NOTICING brings
Fortified, I continued
And explored all around.
There in the living room
My desk could be found
Of course, it’s familiar
Of course, I’m there every day
But now I could see it
In a new special way
The bookends - the rhinos
From that trip last fall
When was the last time
I noticed them at all?
My bookshelves are full
It was such fun to look
Remembering when reading
Meant holding a book!
It was such fun to look
Remembering when reading
Meant holding a book!
And that box full of pens -
That stay tall in their places.
How cute is that container
With my granddaughters’ faces!
On looking - On pausing-
On observing things-
What joy and excitement
Really NOTICING brings
The computer, a good friend,
A companion, and more
Bringing ZOOM and FACEBOOK greetings
Full of connections galore!
That stay tall in their places.
How cute is that container
With my granddaughters’ faces!
On looking - On pausing-
On observing things-
What joy and excitement
Really NOTICING brings
The computer, a good friend,
A companion, and more
Bringing ZOOM and FACEBOOK greetings
Full of connections galore!
Yes, on my trip I stayed home -
It was no hologram.
It made me realize very quickly
How lucky I am.
On looking - On pausing-
On observing things-
What joy and excitement
Really NOTICING brings
You try it -
(and don’t stop to clean out a drawer!)
It was no hologram.
It made me realize very quickly
How lucky I am.
On looking - On pausing-
On observing things-
What joy and excitement
Really NOTICING brings
You try it -
(and don’t stop to clean out a drawer!)
-Loretta
Because “things turn out best for the people who make the best of how things turn out”, I have decided to repost one of my previous blogs. In today’s uncertain and scary times, when many of us:
I share with you this simple exercise. If done every day for 30 days, it
can help change your outlook. I resend this blog with my wishes that
you stay safe and healthy.
- Feel trapped at home
- Are overeating and over-streaming
- Are wondering if we will be able to go back to work
- Are wondering if our kids/grandkids will go back to school in the fall
I share with you this simple exercise. If done every day for 30 days, it
can help change your outlook. I resend this blog with my wishes that
you stay safe and healthy.
I'll give you the steps so you become empowered to look at the world differently and feel the joy and contentment you deserve!
 | There is real science behind the emotions of happiness and love. Dr. Barbara Frederickson, Psychologist and Neuroscience Professor at UNC, Chapel Hill said, “The ways that we feel happiness and well-being are actually showing up in the cells of our immune system and supporting our health.” What a great testimonial! Why wouldn’t we want to Make Happy a Habit? |
My challenge to you is based on the work of psychologist and happiness researcher, Shawn Achor. Surprising as it sounds, he says that it is possible to re-wire your brain to be happier.
You don’t have to wear a smiley-face hat or tell funny jokes. Simply doing the following five activities daily can rewire your brain towards happiness. (I include my order to just give you some idea of fitting it into your day. You can organize it however it is convenient for you).
You don’t have to wear a smiley-face hat or tell funny jokes. Simply doing the following five activities daily can rewire your brain towards happiness. (I include my order to just give you some idea of fitting it into your day. You can organize it however it is convenient for you).
1. THINK OF THREE THINGS YOU’RE GRATEFUL FOR
I like to do this – out loud – in the morning when I get up. I encourage those around me to join in. It’s a good family tradition.
2. WRITE ABOUT A POSITIVE EXPERIENCE FROM THE PAST 24 HOURS
I do this in the evening. I keep a notebook on my nightstand. This simple activity has the amazing power of changing your entire mindset. You will comb through the day, tossing aside the negative and focusing on the positive. Guaranteed to make you smile.
3. EXERCISE (AT LEAST 20 MIN)
I am a morning person, so I make time before breakfast to get in my exercise. Whether it is a brisk walk, time at the gym or climbing stairs, give yourself 20 minutes and increase your activity. I’m including four short videos of easy five-minute exercises on my website. Do all four in a day and you’ll have your 20 minutes!
4. MEDITATE (5-7 MIN)
I find that meditating mid-afternoon works for me. No need to think mantras or posing cross-legged on the carpet. The simplest meditation can be sitting quietly listening to soothing music (no words) – and focusing on either the music, your breathing or a body scan from head-to-toe. If you want some guidance, I like the free app HEADSPACE, which you can use with your earphones while sitting at your desk. Meditation calms and centers, helping you focus and better handle whatever comes your way.
5. PERFORM ONE RANDOM ACT OF KINDNESS
All day every day is a good time for a random act of kindness. Performing a selfless act that helps, compliments or encourages someone has an amazing effect on all involved. You’ll enjoy every minute. To help get you started, I’ll post a list of suggestions on my website.
I like to do this – out loud – in the morning when I get up. I encourage those around me to join in. It’s a good family tradition.
2. WRITE ABOUT A POSITIVE EXPERIENCE FROM THE PAST 24 HOURS
I do this in the evening. I keep a notebook on my nightstand. This simple activity has the amazing power of changing your entire mindset. You will comb through the day, tossing aside the negative and focusing on the positive. Guaranteed to make you smile.
3. EXERCISE (AT LEAST 20 MIN)
I am a morning person, so I make time before breakfast to get in my exercise. Whether it is a brisk walk, time at the gym or climbing stairs, give yourself 20 minutes and increase your activity. I’m including four short videos of easy five-minute exercises on my website. Do all four in a day and you’ll have your 20 minutes!
4. MEDITATE (5-7 MIN)
I find that meditating mid-afternoon works for me. No need to think mantras or posing cross-legged on the carpet. The simplest meditation can be sitting quietly listening to soothing music (no words) – and focusing on either the music, your breathing or a body scan from head-to-toe. If you want some guidance, I like the free app HEADSPACE, which you can use with your earphones while sitting at your desk. Meditation calms and centers, helping you focus and better handle whatever comes your way.
5. PERFORM ONE RANDOM ACT OF KINDNESS
All day every day is a good time for a random act of kindness. Performing a selfless act that helps, compliments or encourages someone has an amazing effect on all involved. You’ll enjoy every minute. To help get you started, I’ll post a list of suggestions on my website.
Encourage everyone around you to get involved
Please leave a note on one of the platforms below or comment on this blog post to let me know how you are doing.
Post some pictures of what you are grateful for and what makes you happy. I want to know how your random acts of kindness and writing about your positive experiences made you feel. Tell me about your time in meditation. And be sure to tell me when you start feeling like HAPPY is becoming a habit.
Good luck! And get your camera ready – you’ll be finding yourself smiling a lot more.
SHARE YOUR PROGRESS BY:
Don’t forget to include #makehappyahabit in your posts
Loretta
Post some pictures of what you are grateful for and what makes you happy. I want to know how your random acts of kindness and writing about your positive experiences made you feel. Tell me about your time in meditation. And be sure to tell me when you start feeling like HAPPY is becoming a habit.
Good luck! And get your camera ready – you’ll be finding yourself smiling a lot more.
SHARE YOUR PROGRESS BY:
- Instagram – FOLLOW @MAKEHAPPYAHABIT for inspiration and share your own pictures of what makes you happy
- Facebook – LIKE /MAKEHAPPYAHABIT and post an update about how the challenge is changing your outlook
- Twitter – FOLLOW @ACCOMPLISHCOACH and tweet your own progress
- Pinterest – FOLLOW /ACCOMPLISHCOACH and start a Happiness board
Don’t forget to include #makehappyahabit in your posts
Loretta
Who isn’t looking for ways to be more motivated? Who isn’t a little annoyed at yourself for not following through on all those things you really want to do?
Here’s an idea that will help. I call it “Dear Me,”. Based on a study done at Columbia Business School, this activity not only encouraged futuristic thinking, but it also proved to be a real motivational tool.
Here are the three simple steps:
Here’s an idea that will help. I call it “Dear Me,”. Based on a study done at Columbia Business School, this activity not only encouraged futuristic thinking, but it also proved to be a real motivational tool.
Here are the three simple steps:
- Write a letter to yourself (that’s the ‘Dear Me’ part) – and make it the YOU 20 years from now.
- Address yourself as who you would like to be in 20 years.
- Include thoughts about areas of life you feel are important and activities you would like to be doing
That’s it. Sounds pretty simple, right? The results at Columbia were very impressive. The professors found that people really started to care more when they became more connected to their future selves. The participants exercised more often, thought about more fulfilling ways to spend their free time, and actually began to take better care of their relationships.
The interesting part here is that not only are you thinking about your future, you are actually planning based what you really want. And you are writing it all down.
Need a little help? Here's a sample:
The interesting part here is that not only are you thinking about your future, you are actually planning based what you really want. And you are writing it all down.
Need a little help? Here's a sample:
Dear Me,
I’m so glad to see myself healthy and happy as I fill my time enjoying the community-wide activities I always loved. The neighborhood book club I started is a huge success (even if Emily keeps insisting on bringing wine!), and becoming a docent at the gallery was genius. Now not only do I have to learn about each new exhibit that arrives but I also get to interact with the public!
I also love my blogs! They bring me both joy and insight each time I post. My Facebook group, “Make Happy a Habit,” is encouraging and positive. It causes people to stop and think how they, too, can bring happiness into their lives. Yay for me!
I’m proud of myself and send hugs.
From
Me
I’m so glad to see myself healthy and happy as I fill my time enjoying the community-wide activities I always loved. The neighborhood book club I started is a huge success (even if Emily keeps insisting on bringing wine!), and becoming a docent at the gallery was genius. Now not only do I have to learn about each new exhibit that arrives but I also get to interact with the public!
I also love my blogs! They bring me both joy and insight each time I post. My Facebook group, “Make Happy a Habit,” is encouraging and positive. It causes people to stop and think how they, too, can bring happiness into their lives. Yay for me!
I’m proud of myself and send hugs.
From
Me
Now when you actually have a picture of yourself focusing on what you think you want to do – and feel how it makes you feel – it becomes more real.
These results are not really surprising. After all, once you realize that you are the one making today’s decisions to reach tomorrow’s dreams, it can make all the difference.
So, go ahead… Whether you send yourself an email or actually use pen and paper, write that “Dear Me…” letter today. And let me know how it makes you feel.
These results are not really surprising. After all, once you realize that you are the one making today’s decisions to reach tomorrow’s dreams, it can make all the difference.
So, go ahead… Whether you send yourself an email or actually use pen and paper, write that “Dear Me…” letter today. And let me know how it makes you feel.
Author
Loretta Saff, M.A., CPC, CPRC
As an active writer, both nationally and internationally, Loretta Saff's humor columns, blog, and lifestyle articles reflect an insight in dealing with situations that helps people get to their core issues and encourage confidence, trust and support.
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