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Dear Tom, I TOLD YOU SO!

3/20/2022

1 Comment

 
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I don’t often talk like that. In fact, I find that I will go out of my way not to say it or even hint at it. But now since Tom Brady is back, I will state it in capital letters:

I Told You So!

    Let me explain. If you will recall, in one of my recent blogs, 
Retiring the Big R - Imagine the Possibilities!
I talked about trying to find a substitute for the word ‘Retirement.’ I do feel replacing  (or enhancing) the word is important because the connotation is just dripping with...
"it’s over!  
you’re a has been!  
you are outa here! and
 you have become a 'usta be!’ "
Tom Brady felt it, I’m sure. After all, when he decided to quit playing football, here is how he announced it:  “I am not going to make that competitive commitment anymore.”
​Rather fancy, huh? Kind of a dancing around the situation, right? He could not bring himself to say, “The Big R” word, so he just used some other pretty words instead. But the meaning was there: I am retiring and “imagining the possibilities.”  … at least for a little while. 

"Acting Before Thinking is Regret"

Here we are two months later, and I’m sure you heard the news: ​
Tom Brady said Sunday he is returning to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers for his 23rd season in the NFL. The seven-time Super Bowl champion announced his decision on Twitter and Instagram, saying he has unfinished business.
​Uh, yeah. ‘Unfinished business.’ Ok, now maybe you will try to tell me he was made an offer he couldn’t refuse. Money? Really? Tom Brady would be swayed by the money? I doubt it. 
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Instead, he found himself in the position that I have warned you against - namely, regretting the decision soon after leaving work and then wasting time trying to figure it all out. It can be nice during that honeymoon phase of the first few months, having no schedule or responsibility. But it’s when you start longing for connection, searching for identity and finding your purpose that  the questioning and doubting begin.

The Takeaway

Unless you are forced out, do not leave your work until you have some idea about how and with whom you will spend your time. It is so important to get involved in some interesting, satisfying, and challenging activities OUTSIDE OF WORK many years before you plan on reaching ‘The Big R.’ Which brings me to another of my blogs:
A Sense of Belonging..., It's a Basic Human Need!
​Please go back and reread my two previous blogs through the links above. Be smart, and don’t be like Tom Brady. (Has anyone ever said that before?) Contact a Retirement Coach today (maybe me?) and imagine the possibilities!  Enough said, except  ...
 I TOLD YOU SO!
Loretta
P.S. If anyone out there knows Tom, please send him my contact information. I’ll be glad to help him figure things out.
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A SENSE OF BELONGING - It's a Basic Human Need

3/2/2022

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I recently worked with an executive who was thinking about retirement. In one of our initial sessions, I asked him about his hobbies.

“HOBBIES? HOBBIES?
​Loretta, do you really think I have time for HOBBIES?!” he ranted. 

Rather than wait for him to work out why I was asking, I quickly changed the wording. “OK,” I said. “Let’s try it this way: What are you good at and enjoy doing such that you completely lose track of time?”
This made him pause. He knew he was good at a lot of things, but it had been so long since he had done many of them that he wasn’t sure he still could. He began to realize that he had been so steeped in his work and glued to his schedule that he rarely did what he liked to do. And…, if he took time for himself, he felt selfish! ​
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Call them HOBBIES or PASSIONS or even INTERESTS, making time in your life for things you enjoy - whether you are 25 or 65 - is important.


It’s important for your emotional wellbeing; it’s important for your mental stimulation and…IT’S REALLY IMPORTANT FOR RETIREMENT.
Retirement can be lonely. Sure, you can find yourself newly retired and then decide to ‘do what I want to do when I want to do it!’ Your search may take a little longer and be a lot more difficult than if you had started years ago, but yes, you can begin after the Retirement Party.  ​
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If, on the other hand, you have already been involved in a few activities you enjoy before you retire, you have a head start on interacting with people who share your interests. Let me remind you, the feeling of belonging is one of our basic human needs. Yes, right up there with food and shelter.
When a person stops working, that sense of belonging, of being ‘included’ or identified as part of a team/company/title can slip away. Some people feel like outsiders in their own life. That’s why it is important – starting today - to make time for the things you really enjoy doing.

If you still need more convincing to get started now, here are three reasons that are backed by science:

1 - BETTER WORK PERFORMANCE

A study in the Journal of Occupational and Organizational Psychology finds marked differences between those who engage in hobbies and those who do not. This includes a better attitude at work and more creativity on projects.

2 - IMPROVED PHYSICAL AND MENTAL HEALTH

A study of enjoyable leisure activities measured by Pittsburgh Enjoyable Activities Test (PEAT) shows “Higher PEAT scores were associated with lower blood pressure, total cortisol, waist circumference, and body mass index, and perceptions of better physical function.   

3 - REDUCED STRESS

A study by Matthew Zawadzki, a health psychologist at the University of California, shows that leisure activity can provide immediate stress relief, which has been shown to have both health and psychological benefits, like improved focus, happiness and a longer life.

…and who wouldn’t be impressed by those reasons!

So, get started. Explore how to get involved in activities you’ve put aside or always wanted to learn more about. You will make new friends (outside of work), enjoy sharing an interest, and have fun being around others who like to do what you do.  And Happy Retirement, whenever that is!    
-Loretta
P.S. In case you missed it, recently the Mars Wrigley Corporation (owner of M&Ms) made some changes you can read about here. They decided their multicolored mascots were not reaching all of society in their ads. A change was necessary “to create a world where everyone feels they belong."
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Photo from Today.com

Start planning for retirement NOW to avoid finding yourself spending your days at home in front of the TV - with a bowl of M&Ms!

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    Author

    Loretta Saff, M.A., CPC, CPRC
    As an active writer, both nationally and internationally, Loretta Saff's humor columns, blog, and lifestyle articles reflect an insight in dealing with situations that helps people get to their core issues and encourage confidence, trust and support.

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    • About Loretta
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