Remember your New Year’s Resolutions for 2021? (You did make some, right?) Remember how sincere and optimistic you tried to be?

Let’s take a moment to check how we did with last year’s promises. I’ve just checked mine, and here’s my review:

Why, you may ask, were those 10 very well-thought-out and important resolutions not kept? Well, it’s because of …uh..,. because… um...., Actually, I'm not sure. What about you? Are you a good ‘resolution keeper'?

I can remember other years and other resolutions that started out strong (i.e., that Fasting Diet) and then slowly faded away. I soon realized this is a common problem, and we could all use a little help standing strong to our promises for the new year.
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So, I’m glad to tell you that help has arrived! I’ve decided that one of the major problems is THE WORD ITSELF! 

“Resolutions” are usually vague and offer very little motivation –

• I’m going to lose weight;
• I will do better with money;
• I can learn a language!     

​What would happen if instead of calling them New Year’s Resolutions, we all decide to call them NEW YEAR'S GOALS? 

Meet SMART goals.  See, already the word is making you sit up tall and feel clever. SMART goals were developed by three men, George Doran, Arthur Miller and James Cunningham in their 1981 article “There’s a S.M.A.R.T. way to write management goals and objectives.”
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That’s right – SMART goals refers to the acronym that was  developed by businesspeople to help management set their goals and objectives. But, when I think about it, S.M.A.R.T. is a smart way for all of us to find focus and motivation. 

Think about it (that’s the smart part, too). Being Specific, Achievable and Realistic are just sensible and already get you halfway there. For the Measurable part – keep a journal to track your progress along the way! And certainly, one of the most important considerations is Timely. Choose a date by which you feel you can accomplish the challenge. Then, get started!

There you have it. Don’t those sound more Specific Measurable Achievable Realistic and Timely? This year, turn your ‘Resolutions’ into GOALS and enjoy being called a 'smart-y' pants!

Happy New Year!

​~ Loretta

Well, I knew it was bound to happen. The combined stress caused by the perfect storm of Halloween and COVID -19 together has brought a lot of requests for my services as a Life/Retirement/Transition Coach. This time, I immediately thought the answer was group coaching.

Normally, I don’t share information about clients, but in order to help you understand that we need to reach out and help each other, I have obtained releases from anyone involved in this note.  

​Last week I held a group session with five attendees. Each had their own issues, and each was truly concerned. I’m sure you will recognize them: 

I asked each in turn “What is going on?” and here are their answers:

​I gave her a questioning look.

“I was on my broom and one of my earbuds fell out. I had to look down to retrieve it - and SLAM! There I was, face flat into the tree. I heard people laughing! Why didn’t my radar warn me about the tree? Am I getting too old? Should I retire?”​

Cornelia: She spoke softly and made eye contact with each member of the group.

“Look, as early as the 1880s I became popular. My three colorful layers are attractive, and I’m small and easy to eat.”

​She teared up. 

“At least I WAS easy to eat. I’m the most fun to eat by the handful! And, I mean, really, with COVID-19 people don’t want to eat anything by the handful!”

She started to sob.
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“I’m fat free and keep in the refrigerator for up to 9 months, but nobody really wants me now... Ok, Ok, I guess I should just retire – right?”

Casper was next.
 
Casper: "Yeah, it’s not rocket science. You all know me – you know me by my full name, ‘Casper the Friendly Ghost.'"

He started to smile a little, and then the smile faded.

​“That’s right; I’m a non-conformist. I’d rather make friends than scare people. I know I’m different from the rest of the haunt team, but it is who I am. I like people; I’ve made friends before. I don’t like scaring them.”

Wanda started to snicker.

“Whoever heard of a friendly ghost?” she muttered. I had to shhh! her.

“And now there is COVID-19,” Casper continued. “People can’t even be with their regular friends, so you can bet no one wants to talk to a friendly ghost! What should I do? I have a lot of years ahead of me!”

Then it was Terry’s turn.

Terry: “Ha – you think you guys have issues? You think you don’t know what to do ‘next’? When I was a little tiny tarantula, my Mama told me I was cute. Then I left the nest, and it all ended.”

He looked around, daring people to challenge him.

“I remember the first time I became aware of Halloween! Look around, guys! Do you notice how many phony spiders people put out – on the lawn/on the bushes/crawling up the front of the house! THEY ARE ALL TARANTULAS! What do you think this does to my self-image?”

Everyone got quiet.

“I know, I crawl; I have long hairy legs, and I have eight eyes. But I’m harmless to people! If I bite, it’s no worse than a bee sting – okay? Look it up! So, what’s a young guy like me to do with a reputation like that?”

Wanda started muttering again. “Maybe you remind people of the COVID virus,” she whispered. 

I talked over her. “Ok, Peter, it’s your turn.”

​“I know, I’ve been pretty lucky over the years - always the one up front – inside and outside – enjoying the popularity and fun.

His voice softened.

“But then, enter plastic and inflatables. Enter strange colors and shapes. How can I keep up with those inexpensive, use year-to-year decorations? Even on the flavor side – so many cheaper, easy-to-use imitations! In chips/pancake mix/coffee – even donuts!

​People are pumpkin crazy, but they are not using the real thing!”

He looked up at me and sighed.

“And now COVID-19. There used to be pumpkin carving parties. Now no one is gathering groups together to sit close and carve. I may be able to hold out for a few more years, but I need a plan, a new direction. Should I retire?”

I let the air settle for a few minutes. Group sessions are not easy. A person (or a pumpkin) can listen and feel their issue is not so bad, or the participant can take on everyone’s problems and go away feeling worse.

I decided there was only one answer and it applied to the whole group.

Ask yourself important questions like:
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Before I left the room, I looked around and smiled. “Of course, If you want to talk more about planning for the days and years ahead, give me a call!”

As the door shut, I heard Casper shout:

“That was amazing! Ok, everybody, MASKS ON – Let’s have a Group Hug!”

You’re surrounded by it.  All the stores are full of Holiday Cheer, and Sirius Radio has had a “Holiday Songs” station since just after Halloween.  Now, they are almost here – THE HOLIDAYS.
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#holidays #life strategies #positivity

While to some this may mean hugs and giggles, to others it can shout “Stress Alert! Stress Alert!”Whatever the message coming your way, a little MENTAL PREPARATION will help you be ready to enjoy and greet your family and friends with enthusiasm.
Here are three simple and helpful hints to make the season “Positively Fabulous!,” one of happy memories and family togetherness.

Yep, that’s YOU – with a choice. Listen to yourself and analyze your thoughts. If you’ve just come back from a trip, what is the first thing you talk about – the bad weather or the wonderful food? The annoying airports or the beautiful scenery? Just the order in which you mention things tells you something about yourself.
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Try to rethink what you talk about. Spend more time on the good times you had; talk about something that made you laugh. In fact, try not mentioning the ‘annoying’ things that happened. I bet you’ll forget about them!

Now, if you find yourself stuck out on the porch with Aunt Sally, who is telling you how her arthritis stops her from having fun, try getting her to tell you something positive. Ask her about her dog. Explore what books she likes to read. Get her to talk about wonderful Thanksgivings she remembers over the years. If Aunt Sally is too negative, go get her a mimosa, drop it off, and excuse yourself to the bathroom!

Do the things you like to do. Enjoy a massage? Want time to read? Love playing with the kids? Make time to do it. Make a holiday schedule that includes things that YOU like to do. When you are happy and relaxed, it will make you much more fun to be around and tolerant of others.

~Loretta