We all grew up with fairy tales. Years ago, I taught gifted kids in a creative writing class. One of the exercises I used was to challenge the kids to write a follow-up of what happened to any fairy tale character of their choice - TWO YEARS LATER. Oh, the tales I got – and with such unique endings! ... 1. Cinderella and Prince Charming split up. The prince gambled away his fortune, and Cinderella moved to LA and opened… a shoe store. 2. Snow White married her prince, and she found that his mother looked in the mirror even more than Snow White’s stepmother. Soon her new mother-in-law chased Snow White away, forcing her to end up keeping house for the seven dwarfs. Ultimately, she became hard of hearing because of all that whistling! Fairy-Tail Endings?This made me think a lot about fairy-tale endings. How can we make them happen for ourselves so that we don’t end up like this prince and the princesses?? Whether it’s career issues, relationships, or life transitions in general, I believe people are searching for that “Happily Ever After.” Over the years almost every coaching client I’ve worked with answers the question, “What do you really want?” the same way: “I just want to be happy.” So, what does being happy |
Across 2. What you will need to get you up every morning. 4. It’s not just about the money. 5. Seeing the glass half full shows you are full of this. 6. Make new ones and keep the old. | Down 1. When you have this, you have everything. 2. This puts you on your path to success. 3. Asking what? Who? Why? - Describes this important trait. |
P.S. This column was originally written for The Observer, but I have created a PDF version of the crossword puzzle that you can print out. You can download it here.
There is no right or wrong way to do it. There is no required length. You can jot down, draw pictures, create paragraphs, poems, or even lyrics reflecting your thoughts and feelings. (Think Taylor Swift!) The only strong suggestion is that research has shown writing daily (or almost every day) offers much greater results.
For the purpose of any life transition – and especially relating to retirement -journaling is extremely beneficial because it:
- can help you set and accomplish goals.
- is a place to express gratitude.
- puts you in the present instead of the past.
- allows you to express your true thoughts and feelings.
By the way, no one else reads it. It’s yours to keep and reread if you like or to simply embrace the time as private minutes between you and your thoughts and feelings.
Happy Journaling!
Across 2. purpose 4. retirement 5. positivity 6. friends | Down 1. health 2. plan 3. curious |
I certainly found it in a recent article on Retirement that I came across in Forbes Magazine. The author, Joseph Coughlin, a well-known researcher, teacher, and head of the MIT Age Lab, talked about “The New Math of Retirement Togetherness.”
[No, this is not an SAT Math question.]
At this point Coughlin went on to narrow things down stating that life routines of home/child/personal responsibilities, etc., result in the fact that the reality is that a typical working couple may often spend only six (6) hours a day together! Quite a surprise when we do the math, right? (see box below)
AN EXTRA 10 WAKING HOURS A DAY
FOR A RETIRED COUPLE
TO SPEND TOGETHER!
These are situations that you and your significant other must consider as retirement comes closer. What if your list of ‘things to do’ doesn’t match that of your partner’s? In fact, do you really want everything on your list to match that of your partner?
I ran into a neighbor and his wife recently. He is an executive who is looking forward to leaving the deadlines and fundraising behind. I asked him how he plans to spend his time, and his wife immediately answered, “He’s going to paint the family room, clean out the garden, and join the choir so we can sing together on Sundays!” I looked at him and he rolled his eyes and said, “Do I have a choice?” The answer is “Yes, you do have a choice.” Discuss it now so you both can enjoy the added time together later.
Loretta
[email protected]
P.S. Last night, before he turned out the light, my husband whispered:
‘A’ squared plus ‘B’ squared = ‘C’ squared!
Sometimes all that’s needed is a little information, right? So, here’s some!
DID YOU KNOW THAT...
Please don’t be a ‘used to be!’ Thinking about who you are NOW and what you want will help you create the things you will be retiring TO.
And, by the way, a Harvard Grant Study has shown that not only did having a strong social connection in retirement help people outlive those who didn’t, but also aided in delaying the onset of Alzheimer’s and dementia!
AND BY THE WAY… one more
Research has shown that when goals are written down, it reminds you of what they are and what you need to do to achieve them! Then put the list in a place where you can easily find it and check your progress.
(Paul Simon Had the Right Idea!)
“JUST MAKE A PLAN, STAN!”
YOU DON’T NEED TO BE COY, ROY.
When you become your own GPS, you will feel much more confident, knowing when and where to spend your time. You’ll do things like committing to your fitness routine and researching some of those ideas and activities that have caught your attention. So,
DON’T SLIP OUT THE BACK, JACK
In addition, knowing how you envision your retirement years will help avoid uncomfortable discussions later. Your partner and/or adult kids will hear and respect your thoughts and needs. (Like No, I’m not taking over all the babysitting responsibilities or Ok, I’ll try pickleball but just remember my guitar lessons are Tuesday at 11:00!) Now, make sure you
DON’T SIT STILL, JILL!

Like leaving a lover, leaving full-time work requires planning. There may be more than 50 ways to do it, and with a little effort you will find yours. Then, at your retirement party you can
JUST EAT YOUR CAKE, JAKE & JILL
Loretta
[email protected]
P.S. By the way, remember that the written plan for retirement can easily be changed if you have some new ideas. Your GPS will just recalculate!
(Author’s note: Sorry, but by the time you read this all slots will have been filled.)
I’m guessing you are familiar with the success of the two previous shows, The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. Well, this version’s contestants are all over 60, and the handsome bachelor making his choice stands by the tagline “It’s never too late to fall in love…, again!”
Maybe you don’t want to publicly be the next GOLDEN BACHELOR or BACHELORETTE, but I’m sure you want the life ahead to be full of connection, meaningful relationships, and the possibility of falling in love … again!
You want that spark that can re-ignite those endless possibilities!
What you really need is a good look at who you are now.
Step One*: Focus on being a positive and optimistic person.
2. You can direct this intentional activity to surrounding yourself with positive people. Recognize the people in your life that bring you down and become unavailable to them. If some are family, make a point of consciously avoiding large amounts of time together.
3. I’m giving you five things to do daily for 30 days that will help you train yourself to Make Happy a Habit!
- Upon waking every morning say out loud three things you are grateful for.
- At bedtime every night, write about a positive experience that occurred in the past 24 hours (one sentence or many about anything positive that occurred.)
- Exercise 20 minutes a day (can be done in two 10 - minute intervals, if necessary)
- Meditate five to seven minutes a day, either with an app (I like HEADSPACE) or just by listening to wordless music.
- Perform a daily random act of kindness. (let someone in front of you in traffic; say something nice to a cashier, etc.)
Loretta
[email protected]
*By the way, Steps Two, Three, and Four are "Repeat Step One."
FYI |
Today I’m writing this column while traveling abroad, and I dedicate it to all of you who are saying,
"One of the main things I plan to do
when I retire is TRAVEL."
We all know that Covid caused people to stay home and be cautious. Now the travel light has turned green, postponed trips are back on the books, and everyone is out searching for a new four-wheeled suitcase!
(NOTE: Since most of us would rather not check our new four-wheeled suitcase, please read my list of reminders that follows first while packing, then while practicing pulling your packed case around the house, and finally while picking it up and pretending to squish it into the overhead bin.
Here are four reasons to focus on your fitness
before your dream of retirement travel:
And one more…
BON VOYAGE!
*In Greek mythology Zeus punished Sisyphus by forcing him to roll a boulder up a hill for eternity.
P.S. I’d love to hear your travel stories and how glad you were to have physically prepared for the challenges and the fun.
Tell me: [email protected]
RELATIONSHIPS, COLLEGE, MARRIAGE, PARENTING, EMPTY NESTERS, CHANGING JOBS, RETIREMENT!
- Change refers to the need to move away from the way things used to be to the way they are now.
- Transition is the psychological process we go through to adapt to the change.
To quote the author William Bridges, “Without transition, change is just a rearrangement of the furniture.”
There are three stages to TRANSITION:
Ok, so you have left work. You must accept the fact that your days will be different. You will no longer have the structure, calendar and organization you had before. Where you spend your day, and who you will be with will change.
Yes, you read that correctly. Accepting a Messy Middle is an important mindset to
have. Realizing that things really are different and that it will take time to figure out what you really want and how you will find your purpose to feel satisfied can be a bit uncomfortable (and messy) in the short term.
Take a victory lap! You have figured it out, so find comfort in this new beginning. You also can relax because you realize that you can tweak it along the way as you experience the many new adventures you have been curious about.
I leave you with the words of Dr. Seuss:
Loretta
Author
Loretta Saff, M.A., CPC, CPRC
As an active writer, both nationally and internationally, Loretta Saff's humor columns, blog, and lifestyle articles reflect an insight in dealing with situations that helps people get to their core issues and encourage confidence, trust and support.
Categories
All
Children
Couples
Decision Making
Grandparenting
Holiday Tips
"Let's Talk Retirement"
Life Strategies
Make Happy A Habit
Modern Retirement
Parenting
Personal Empowerment
Retirement
Social Distancing
Technology
Videos
Zoom
Archives
March 2025
October 2024
July 2024
June 2024
March 2024
November 2023
July 2023
June 2023
March 2023
December 2022
November 2022
October 2022
September 2022
July 2022
May 2022
March 2022
February 2022
January 2022
December 2021
October 2021
September 2021
July 2021
June 2021
April 2021
March 2021
February 2021
January 2021
September 2020
July 2020
June 2020
April 2020
January 2020
December 2019
October 2019
July 2019
March 2019
February 2019
January 2019
September 2018
August 2018
March 2018
February 2016