Here’s the quote most often heard from people discussing plans for retirement: "One of the main things I plan to do when I retire is TRAVEL." If you have followed me long enough or simply know me well, you are familiar with the four areas of non-financial retirement I discuss, preach, talk about, and emphasize that are necessary to prepare for retirement: mental, physical, social, and spiritual. Today I’m writing this column while traveling abroad, and I dedicate it to all of you who are saying, "One of the main things I plan to do |
| (This scene is real, from Como, Italy, 2023.) |  |
(This really happened to me.) Seven minutes later, the station is in sight. But so are the three flights of steps to get to the station! If you are in shape, this Sisyphusian* challenge for you and your new four-wheeled friend that now includes several treasured souvenirs might just be manageable. Make sure you are physically fit!
Those are four very good reasons that I always ask you about physical fitness as you prepare for retirement. Travel is exciting, educational, interesting, and fun. It may be harder today, but when you are physically fit, you will be better prepared to handle ‘stuff’ that can happen. I wish everyone a fun summer full of friends, family, adventure and very few travel challenges.
BON VOYAGE!
Loretta
*In Greek mythology Zeus punished Sisyphus by forcing him to roll a boulder up a hill for eternity.
P.S. I’d love to hear your travel stories and how glad you were to have physically prepared for the challenges and the fun.
Tell me: loretta@coachingwithloretta.com
*In Greek mythology Zeus punished Sisyphus by forcing him to roll a boulder up a hill for eternity.
P.S. I’d love to hear your travel stories and how glad you were to have physically prepared for the challenges and the fun.
Tell me: loretta@coachingwithloretta.com
1 Comment
I’ve always said that in life one thing we can surely count on is change. Sometimes we can plan for it and sometimes it is thrust upon us. Sometimes we’ve grown older and wiser, and sometimes we’ve simply become bored. Consider:
RELATIONSHIPS, COLLEGE, MARRIAGE, PARENTING, EMPTY NESTERS, CHANGING JOBS, RETIREMENT!
When facing a change, we often say, “Well, it’s a transition. Change offers challenges, adventure, and an opportunity to grow.” All that is true, but the words ‘change’ and ‘transition’ have two different meanings. Here’s the difference:
- Change refers to the need to move away from the way things used to be to the way they are now.
- Transition is the psychological process we go through to adapt to the change.
To quote the author William Bridges, “Without transition, change is just a rearrangement of the furniture.”
Think about that for a moment. Now, think about how it relates to Retirement. Transition requires a psychological process to have a successful change.
There are three stages to TRANSITION:
Stage 1: Accepting the Ending – Long Goodbye
Ok, so you have left work. You must accept the fact that your days will be different. You will no longer have the structure, calendar and organization you had before. Where you spend your day, and who you will be with will change.
Ok, so you have left work. You must accept the fact that your days will be different. You will no longer have the structure, calendar and organization you had before. Where you spend your day, and who you will be with will change.
Stage 2: Living in the Neutral Zone – Messy Middle
Yes, you read that correctly. Accepting a Messy Middle is an important mindset to
have. Realizing that things really are different and that it will take time to figure out what you really want and how you will find your purpose to feel satisfied can be a bit uncomfortable (and messy) in the short term.
Yes, you read that correctly. Accepting a Messy Middle is an important mindset to
have. Realizing that things really are different and that it will take time to figure out what you really want and how you will find your purpose to feel satisfied can be a bit uncomfortable (and messy) in the short term.
Stage 3: Reaching Your New Beginning
Take a victory lap! You have figured it out, so find comfort in this new beginning. You also can relax because you realize that you can tweak it along the way as you experience the many new adventures you have been curious about.
Take a victory lap! You have figured it out, so find comfort in this new beginning. You also can relax because you realize that you can tweak it along the way as you experience the many new adventures you have been curious about.
Those are the facts. If you jump from Stage 1 directly to Stage 3, you may find yourself very unhappy. Spend some time in Stage 2 (the Messy Middle) so you can really enjoy that victory lap!
I leave you with the words of Dr. Seuss:
Let me know if you need a little help.
Loretta
Loretta
Episode 7 of Resources for a Modern Retirement is about the importance of physical fitness in retirement, of course, and at all times in life.
Join us as Mary Cady Bolin gives insight into her classes (at the Y) and how all levels of fitness are welcome. She shares how people should try out an instructor two or three times before making a decision to accept or join the class. Needless to say, the purpose of this episode is to encourage regular physical activity to support physical and emotional health, a key component in any retirement plan!
About our Episode Guest
 | Mary Cady Bolin |
I did a 30-day Make Happy a Habit challenge back in 2016 and 2021 and now I get the chance to share it with the viewers of WKRN's Local on 2 with Larissa and Laura.
It's hard to make it a priority with the busy lives we live but five simple daily activities can help you establish happy habits. Self-care can start to be something that you prioritize in your life. And now, more than ever, self-care and finding your way to happiness is important for your health and well-being and for those around you.
There is real science behind the emotions of happiness and love. Dr. Barbara Frederickson, Psychologist and Neuroscience Professor at UNC, Chapel Hill said, “The ways that we feel happiness and well-being are actually showing up in the cells of our immune system and supporting our health.”
The Make Happy a Habit challenge is one of my favorites. I did it in 2016 and 2021 and shared every step along the way. If you joined me in the past, I hope you found some inspiration from my journey for your own. If you're starting the journey now, be sure to tell me when you start feeling like HAPPY is becoming a habit.
I'll be posting my interview soon on my social networks below. Stay tuned!
It's hard to make it a priority with the busy lives we live but five simple daily activities can help you establish happy habits. Self-care can start to be something that you prioritize in your life. And now, more than ever, self-care and finding your way to happiness is important for your health and well-being and for those around you.
There is real science behind the emotions of happiness and love. Dr. Barbara Frederickson, Psychologist and Neuroscience Professor at UNC, Chapel Hill said, “The ways that we feel happiness and well-being are actually showing up in the cells of our immune system and supporting our health.”
The Make Happy a Habit challenge is one of my favorites. I did it in 2016 and 2021 and shared every step along the way. If you joined me in the past, I hope you found some inspiration from my journey for your own. If you're starting the journey now, be sure to tell me when you start feeling like HAPPY is becoming a habit.
I'll be posting my interview soon on my social networks below. Stay tuned!
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/makehappyahabit/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/makehappyahabit
Twitter: https://twitter.com/ACCOMPLISHCOACH/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ACCOMPLISHCOACH/
Loretta
1. GUESS WHAT Number ... "Retirement" is on the list of 'Life's 43 most stressful life events'.
It’s #10! And that’s why I say we need to talk about your plans. Some people might find the transition easy, but many retirees are truly stressed at the challenge of creating a new identity and purpose.
2. GUESS WHAT … it might mean if your work defines “who you are” rather than “what you do.”
It will make leaving your workplace more difficult. Think about how you will introduce yourself when you retire, and please don’t say ‘I used to be!’ Thinking about who you are NOW and what you want NOW will help you create the things you will be retiring TO.
3. GUESS WHAT … will happen if your social connections are mostly related to your workplace.
It will probably be a lot harder to replace those connections. Finding new friends and interests before you leave your job will create a ready community of people you like to spend time with when you do retire.
By the way, a Harvard Grant Study has shown that having a strong social connection in retirement not only helps people outlive those who don’t but also aids in delaying the onset of Alzheimer’s and dementia.
By the way, a Harvard Grant Study has shown that having a strong social connection in retirement not only helps people outlive those who don’t but also aids in delaying the onset of Alzheimer’s and dementia.
4. GUESS WHAT … sitting at a desk most of the day can cause.
Complicated physical issues that can interfere with your retirement plans. Get up and get moving! Those grandkids want to play hide and seek. Your condo wants you to be on the pickleball team, and the dog just brought you his leash asking for a long walk. You don’t want to miss out on any of that – do you?
5. GUESS WHAT … believing that “the best is yet to come” can encourage.
Fresh ideas and possibilities! Having a positive mental outlook is not just being a cockeyed optimist. It helps you deal with change as well as giving you more energy for new opportunities and accomplishments. It also makes you more resilient so you can more easily handle the other ‘stuff’ that comes your way.
6. GUESS WHAT happens … when volunteering is what you want to do in retirement, but you don’t spend any time looking into it beforehand.
You will probably waste time searching for appropriate opportunities and get stuck in roles you don’t like. Start early thinking about organizations you want to help and make some inquiries.
Think about what you would like to do for an organization, so you don’t get stuck making phone calls or stuffing envelopes (unless, of course, you like that!).
Think about what you would like to do for an organization, so you don’t get stuck making phone calls or stuffing envelopes (unless, of course, you like that!).
AND BY THE WAY… one more
7. GUESS WHAT happens … when you WRITE DOWN goals you want to achieve.
Whether it’s a trip to Machu Picchu or creating an online creative cooking club, you will be more likely to achieve your goal if it is WRITTEN DOWN. (You’ve probably already done it on the financial side. Now do the same for all those non-financial issues!)
Research has shown that when goals are written down, it reminds us of what they are and what we need to do to achieve them. Just make sure you put the list in a place where you can easily find it.
Research has shown that when goals are written down, it reminds us of what they are and what we need to do to achieve them. Just make sure you put the list in a place where you can easily find it.
No more guessing. Having a little extra information makes you smarter. Now you have it, so get started!
Loretta
Loretta
Last week my phone rang showing a number I did not recognize. I answered it anyway because you know, sometimes you just do. The conversation went something like this:
Me: Hello?
A Voice said: Hello! A couple of years ago you helped my friend The Elf on the Shelf spread his message on social media, so I’m calling hoping you can give ME a little help.
Me: Uh, who is this?
Voice: I’m Moshe, THE MENSCH ON A BENCH. Like Elf, I try to remind Jewish people - actually all people - to be thoughtful, kind, and considerate.
A Voice said: Hello! A couple of years ago you helped my friend The Elf on the Shelf spread his message on social media, so I’m calling hoping you can give ME a little help.
Me: Uh, who is this?
Voice: I’m Moshe, THE MENSCH ON A BENCH. Like Elf, I try to remind Jewish people - actually all people - to be thoughtful, kind, and considerate.
The Mensch: I’m hoping you will come with me to this year’s Chanukah Board Meeting! In case you don’t know, it’s when THE JEWISH BIG FOUR meet to find ways to make sure Chanukah will be meaningful, joyous, and fun. They are always trying hard to be heard above the jingle bells and songs about Rudolph!
(I was intrigued – How does he know Elf? Who are the BIG FOUR? And back then did I actually agree to help spread the word?)
Me: Go on.
Mr. M: This is my first year, and I have a really good suggestion. Come with me and you can put it in your blog about the importance of being a Mensch!
Mr. M: This is my first year, and I have a really good suggestion. Come with me and you can put it in your blog about the importance of being a Mensch!
And that’s how I ended up at
THE CHANUKAH BOARD MEETING.
Here’s what happened:
When we walked in, I could hardly believe it - In attendance was the entire Chanukah gang – Sharon/David/Hannah/and Leo. I sat quietly and waited.
The meeting was called to order by the Chairwoman, Sharon.
She said a quick hello and reminded everyone this was to be a short meeting, so no refreshments. Then, she asked each board member to introduce themselves. She started:
The meeting was called to order by the Chairwoman, Sharon.
She said a quick hello and reminded everyone this was to be a short meeting, so no refreshments. Then, she asked each board member to introduce themselves. She started:
I’m Sharon Shamis, the lead candle, The Head of the Festival of Light |
|
She looked to her left and nodded to the blue guy:
Hello - I’m David Dreidel, the playful one, he said. |
|
He was twisting and turning and suddenly, he dropped. Then he looked up and smiled. Ha! he laughed; I just landed on GIMMEL!
Sharon nodded to the next member:
Sharon nodded to the next member:
How do you do … board members and guests, Because I have nine branches for the Chanukah candles, my real name is Hannah Hanukieh. Then she smiled shyly, and added, but I also answer to the name ‘Menorah! |
|
Then Sharon motioned to the last one …,
Hi! I’m Leo Latke - Sometimes known as “Leo ‘the grate’!” Get it? – Grate - as in potato! Everybody likes me - whether with apple sauce or sour cream! And no worries, I’ll bring the refreshments next time! |
|
Sharon opened the meeting by reviewing the last year’s discussion regarding the proper spelling of the word ‘Chanukah’- whether with a C or an H and if there are double k’s. She announced it was decided that it makes no difference how you spell the name of the holiday as long as it brings people together to celebrate!
Then she continued: “Today’s topic, presented by The Mensch on a Bench,” is
Then she continued: “Today’s topic, presented by The Mensch on a Bench,” is
“Why should Jewish kids
get a present every night of Chanukah?”
And so, Moshe began:
Thank you for this opportunity. We all know non-Jewish kids get lots of gifts this time of year. So, it’s only natural that Jewish families are thinking: ‘Let’s keep our kids happy – we’ve got eight nights, give them eight gifts!’
Even though the group looked at him suspiciously, he continued:
I think that Hanukah presents should be a HOLIDAY REWARD FOR GOOD BEHAVIOR, and I’ll tell you why. Lately, instead of sitting in houses, this Mensch on a Bench ventured out. That’s how I’ve realized people just aren’t behaving.
- I sat on a BENCH in the park. There big kids were pushing little ones out of their way on the slide. The adults just stood around talking.
- On the BENCH at the bus stop, parents who came to pick up their kids shouted at the bus driver because he didn’t always stop close enough to the curb.
- And from the BENCH at the baseball game…? Oy! Parents and coaches kept yelling at each other. The kids started yelling, too
He paused and smiled at me:
So, here’s what I propose:
EVERY night, after the Hanukah candles are lit, parents say:
Now that the candles are shining bright,
let’s each have a turn telling of a time when he or she
was considerate and did something nice for others.’
“ACT LIKE A MENSCH – you get a gift!”
EVERY night, after the Hanukah candles are lit, parents say:
Now that the candles are shining bright,
let’s each have a turn telling of a time when he or she
was considerate and did something nice for others.’
“ACT LIKE A MENSCH – you get a gift!”
Then he sat down.
At first everyone was quiet. Then David Driedel started spinning. That was amazing, he said. I completely agree with The Mensch. Even Hannah was impressed. So sensible! she said. Thank YOU, Moshe
| A vote was called. All agreed to include the suggestion on the candle boxes next year! Sharon Shamis banged the gavel to end the gathering. I was glad I had come. It was an honor to meet the BIG FOUR, and so I’m happily spreading Moshe’s message: |  |
BE A MENSCH –
teach it, live it, insist on it –
especially at Chanukah
| I do have to admit one thing, though… I was a little disappointed Leo didn’t get to serve latkes – Apple Sauce, please. |  |
HAPPY CHANUKAH!
Loretta
*Mensch: (Yiddish) a person of integrity and dignity, with a sense of what is right and responsible.
*Mensch: (Yiddish) a person of integrity and dignity, with a sense of what is right and responsible.
Author
Loretta Saff, M.A., CPC, CPRC
As an active writer, both nationally and internationally, Loretta Saff's humor columns, blog, and lifestyle articles reflect an insight in dealing with situations that helps people get to their core issues and encourage confidence, trust and support.
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