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The Holidays are Coming!

11/17/2022

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You’re surrounded by it. All the stores are full of Holiday Cheer, and Sirius Radio has had a “Holiday Songs” station since just after Halloween. Now, they are almost here – THE HOLIDAYS.
​
#holidays #lifestrategies #positivity
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Start Now and Be "Positively  Fabulous!
While to some this may mean hugs and giggles, to others it can shout “Stress Alert! Stress Alert!”Whatever the message coming your way, a little MENTAL PREPARATION will help you be ready to enjoy and greet your family and friends with enthusiasm.
Here are three simple and helpful hints to make the season “Positively Fabulous!,” one of happy memories and family togetherness.
1. Remember that you are in Charge of Your Thoughts.
Yep, that’s YOU – with a choice. Listen to yourself and analyze your thoughts. If you’ve just come back from a trip, what is the first thing you talk about – the bad weather or the wonderful food? The annoying airports or the beautiful scenery? Just the order in which you mention things tells you something about yourself.
​
Try to rethink what you talk about. Spend more time on the good times you had; talk about something that made you laugh. In fact, try not mentioning the ‘annoying’ things that happened. I bet you’ll forget about them!
2. Surround Yourself with Positive People
Now, if you find yourself stuck out on the porch with Aunt Sally, who is telling you how her arthritis stops her from having fun, try getting her to tell you something positive. Ask her about her dog. Explore what books she likes to read. Get her to talk about wonderful Thanksgivings she remembers over the years. If Aunt Sally is too negative, go get her a mimosa, drop it off, and excuse yourself to the bathroom!
3. Be Nice to Yourself
Do the things you like to do. Enjoy a massage? Want time to read? Love playing with the kids? Make time to do it. Make a holiday schedule that includes things that YOU like to do. When you are happy and relaxed, it will make you much more fun to be around and tolerant of others.
I’ve stopped at three so you can now go and practice. Make time to do it and write and tell me how it all went!
Remember: "'Tis the season to be jolly!"
Happy Holidays!!

​~Loretta
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Podcast Episode 6: Reimagining Retirement - 9 Keys to True Wealth

10/11/2022

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Episode 6 of Resources for a Modern Retirement breaks down the 9 keys to true wealth and planning for your future self.

Where do you want to be in ten years? In today's podcast, join Eric J. Weigel and me, as we navigate how to plan for your future self. Retirement is about more than just money, as Eric identifies in his book, Reimaging Retirement - 9 Keys to True Wealth.

​Learn about the 9 keys to true wealth and focusing on all areas of your life that are important to you!
WATCH PODCAST

About Our Episode Guest

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Eric J. Weigel
Founder
​Retire with Possibilities
https://www.retirewithpossibilities.com/
eweigel@retirewithpossibilities.com​

​
BUY THE BOOK: 
​Reimaging Retirement - 9 Keys to True Wealth
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A Halloween Group Hug

10/11/2022

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Well, I knew it was bound to happen. The combined stress caused by the perfect storm of Halloween and COVID -19 together has brought a lot of requests for my services as a Life/Retirement/Transition Coach. This time, I immediately thought the answer was group coaching.

Normally, I don’t share information about clients, but in order to help you understand that we need to reach out and help each other, I have obtained releases from anyone involved in this note.  

​Last week I held a group session with five attendees. Each had their own issues, and each was truly concerned. I’m sure you will recognize them: 
Wanda, the Witch
Cornelia, the Candy Corn
Casper, the Friendly Ghost
Terry, the Tarantula
Peter, the Pumpkin

I asked each in turn “What is going on?” and here are their answers:
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​
Wanda: “It’s becoming more and more common. You’ve seen it, and you’ve probably even laughed at it. Well, last week it happened to me.”

SLAM! There I was, face flat into the tree


​I gave her a questioning look.

“I was on my broom and one of my earbuds fell out. I had to look down to retrieve it - and SLAM! There I was, face flat into the tree. I heard people laughing! Why didn’t my radar warn me about the tree? Am I getting too old? Should I retire?”​
Cornelia: She spoke softly and made eye contact with each member of the group.

“Look, as early as the 1880s I became popular. My three colorful layers are attractive, and I’m small and easy to eat.”

​She teared up. 

Ok, Ok, I guess I should just retire - right?

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“At least I WAS easy to eat. I’m the most fun to eat by the handful! And, I mean, really, with COVID-19 people don’t want to eat anything by the handful!”

She started to sob.
​
“I’m fat free and keep in the refrigerator for up to 9 months, but nobody really wants me now... Ok, Ok, I guess I should just retire – right?”
Casper was next.
 
Casper: "Yeah, it’s not rocket science. You all know me – you know me by my full name, ‘Casper the Friendly Ghost.'"

He started to smile a little, and then the smile faded.
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​“That’s right; I’m a non-conformist. I’d rather make friends than scare people. I know I’m different from the rest of the haunt team, but it is who I am. I like people; I’ve made friends before. I don’t like scaring them.”

Wanda started to snicker.

“Whoever heard of a friendly ghost?” she muttered. I had to shhh! her.

“And now there is COVID-19,” Casper continued. “People can’t even be with their regular friends, so you can bet no one wants to talk to a friendly ghost! What should I do? I have a lot of years ahead of me!”

Then it was Terry’s turn.

Terry: “Ha – you think you guys have issues? You think you don’t know what to do ‘next’? When I was a little tiny tarantula, my Mama told me I was cute. Then I left the nest, and it all ended.”

He looked around, daring people to challenge him.
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He looked around, daring people to challenge him.

“I remember the first time I became aware of Halloween! Look around, guys! Do you notice how many phony spiders people put out – on the lawn/on the bushes/crawling up the front of the house! THEY ARE ALL TARANTULAS! What do you think this does to my self-image?”

Everyone got quiet.

“I know, I crawl; I have long hairy legs, and I have eight eyes. But I’m harmless to people! If I bite, it’s no worse than a bee sting – okay? Look it up! So, what’s a young guy like me to do with a reputation like that?”

Wanda started muttering again. “Maybe you remind people of the COVID virus,” she whispered. 

I talked over her. “Ok, Peter, it’s your turn.”

"Let's face it, the pumpkin is the
​symbol for both Fall and Halloween"

Peter: “Well, in comparison, maybe my problem is not so bad. I mean, let’s face it, the pumpkin is the symbol for both Fall and Halloween."
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​“I know, I’ve been pretty lucky over the years - always the one up front – inside and outside – enjoying the popularity and fun.

His voice softened.

“But then, enter plastic and inflatables. Enter strange colors and shapes. How can I keep up with those inexpensive, use year-to-year decorations? Even on the flavor side – so many cheaper, easy-to-use imitations! In chips/pancake mix/coffee – even donuts!

​People are pumpkin crazy, but they are not using the real thing!”


He looked up at me and sighed.

“And now COVID-19. There used to be pumpkin carving parties. Now no one is gathering groups together to sit close and carve. I may be able to hold out for a few more years, but I need a plan, a new direction. Should I retire?”

I let the air settle for a few minutes. Group sessions are not easy. A person (or a pumpkin) can listen and feel their issue is not so bad, or the participant can take on everyone’s problems and go away feeling worse.

I decided there was only one answer and it applied to the whole group.
“I think,” (I said carefully)
“The answer for all of you is the same:
1. Decide what you really want.
2. Think of ways to reidentify yourself.
3. Find a new path to reach your goal. "

Ask yourself important questions like:
​
Wanda – How much of who you are is your broom?
Cornelia – In what other ways can the world use candy corn?
Casper & Terry – Especially during this time of COVID-19, it’s best you stay under the radar. What if you two got together and taught a class about ghosts and spiders on Zoom?
Peter – With a legacy like yours, why not share your life story with the rest of the world? Who do you know that can help with the writing?

A person (or a pumpkin) can listen and feel their issue is not so bad, or the participant can take on everyone’s problems and go away feeling worse.


Before I left the room, I looked around and smiled. “Of course, If you want to talk more about planning for the days and years ahead, give me a call!”

As the door shut, I heard Casper shout:

“That was amazing! Ok, everybody, MASKS ON – Let’s have a Group Hug!”
~ HAPPY HALLOWEEN ~
-Loretta
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Quiet Quitters Revealed!

9/1/2022

2 Comments

 
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Ok, I guess it’s not so quiet anymore. 

TikTok started the crusade and mainstream media outlets picked it up. It’s all about a movement called ‘quiet quitting.’ In case you are not into TikTok and haven’t seen the video, click here.

​ONE WAY to look at this craze is:

Quiet Quitters are frustrated and setting boundaries.
  • They say they are burned out and being strangled by their job, always ‘on’ and forever at work.
  • They say they weren’t hired to stay late after work hours,​ organize zoom calls during lunch, or answer work calls on the weekend.

ANOTHER WAY to look at it is:

Companies are tired of paying workers to work less.
  • Workers are hired to join a company’s ‘team,’ and expectations include extra effort for a deadline, a challenge, or a brainstorming session.
  • Companies don’t appreciate minimal effort. Why pay more for less?​ 
What’s interesting about all of this is that recently a Gallop poll was taken to find out if workers of various ages were feeling engaged in the work they do. When asked, most said, “Uh, yeah, maybe 32% of the time.”  

So, for those workers over 50 who are feeling less engaged on the job:

A Retirement Coach's way to look at it is:
  • Make the  MOST of quiet quitting​
What if you tried quiet quitting and found a better work/life balance? What would you do with that new-found extra time? Would you spend more time with family and friends? Learn something new? Volunteer your expertise?
​

Quiet quitting gives you time to prepare for the after-work years! (BTW, I say ‘after- work years’ for a reason. The word ‘retirement’ can have different connotations. Remember Tom Brady?)
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Time to Prepare

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I’ve been saying it for years – Make time to consider how you will spend your days when you decide to no longer work full time. To help, examine your current priorities and needs. Ask yourself what you want NOW.

​Then begin to explore new interests, exercise more, make new friends, enjoy closer family ties, and perhaps even volunteer to help others.

Rather than being called a
‘​Quiet Quitter,' 
call yourself a
‘QUIET PLANNER!’


Start Young

​And to the groups that are years younger, I say find the balance between being a team player and being strangled by your job. These are exciting years for you to make a name for yourself and strive for those goals you set. If you are truly unhappy and see no future in what you are asked to do, go in and talk with your boss. If he/she has no solution, find another job! 
Need some help and want to talk more? Let me know!
​
Loretta
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GUARD YOUR RETIREMENT - Avoid the Dark Side!

7/12/2022

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Retirement
While traveling recently, I was introduced to someone from Brazil. When I told him I was a Life Coach with a specialty in Retirement, he was intrigued.  The conversation went something like this:
He: Interesting. I recently watched a documentary about retirement in the U.S. If you don’t mind, I have a question.

Me: Sure, go ahead and ask.

He: Well, one thing really surprised me. Is it true when a person retires in the U.S., they are assigned a LEGAL GUARDIAN?

A Legal Guardian at Retirement? No!

Needless to say, I was surprised. Perhaps the film dealt with financial planning or offered other suggestions for protecting one’s assets during retirement. Somehow, he had come away with a very strange conclusion. 
Note: Many people in the U.S. take legal steps to assign Power of Attorney to a family member or trusted friend as part of their Estate Planning. This gives that person the legal authority to care for the personal and property interests of someone who has become physically or mentally impaired.
A legal guardian is similar in nature, but the guardian is assigned through an extensive court proceeding rather than through the wishes of the individual. Obviously, neither is an automatic factor of retirement.

Guard Against the Dark Side

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What I did not share with him - and what I really don’t like to linger on here because our focus in these pages is the power of positivity – is the fact that after retiring some people do experience the dark side of retirement. Simply put, the dark side of retirement has to do with feeling lost, useless, depressed, and simply without validation. Sitting in the house all day with little to do is very boring and lonely; the spiraling down can even lead to exploring the liquor cabinet.  
For some, the lack of purpose that comes with retirement is very hard and finding the positive can be difficult and they can no longer handle their own affairs. If you or anyone you know is experiencing depression or having trouble shifting a negative mindset, I encourage reaching out to a good therapist or consulting with your primary care physician. ​There is help!

Focus on the Bright Side

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Happily, what most people can look forward to is the bright side of retirement!

And, indeed, there is a bright side – time to do the things you really ​enjoy, opportunities for creative and exciting adventures, satisfaction of embracing the new and nurturing the tried and true. It involves PLANNING, and there are a few simple things you can do now to make YOUR future look bright.

Step One: PHYSICAL

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Start now to build an exercise routine. This does not require a gym membership or a Lulu Lemon outfit. If you are new at it, start with 10 minutes and watch yourself build up to 30.

Step Two: MENTAL

​Set your mind to being more positive every day. Make things happen. What are you are really good at and enjoy doing? Spend a little time starting up again. (Photography? Learning a language? Volunteer?) 
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Step Three: SOCIAL

Make sure your friends and social connections are not all associated with your work. You’ll have new friends thanks to step two! And…, get rid of negativity. If relationships are hard to break, try to interact less often.
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Step Four: SPIRITUAL

This is not an edict for religion. Instead find time to bring significance to your daily routine. How can you contribute? How can you feel satisfied? Oh yes, and perform a random act of kindness every day.
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That’s it. I’ve tried to make it short and sweet. Whether you are following these suggestions yourself or if you are a Power of Attorney or a Legal Guardian trying to help the person in your care, working through these four steps is bound to lead to ​​positive and impactful benefits in the years ahead.
 
Loretta
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Podcast Episode 5: Get Creative in Retirement: Become a Published Photographer!

5/10/2022

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Episode 5 of Resources for a Modern Retirement focuses on getting creative in retirement and finding new passions.

How are you going to spend your newfound free time in retirement? Today’s podcast introduces you to Jerry Park, who I think you will find to be an absolute inspiration.

Jerry suggests:
  1. Think about and plan for at least four areas of interest to pursue BEFORE you retire.
  2. Don’t be alone. Go out and mix with people because there is always someone or something that will help you connect.
  3. Allow yourself to be creative and most of all make sure you are having FUN!​​
WATCH PODCAST

About Our Episode Guest

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Jerry Park
Jerry Park Photography
www.jerryparkphotography.com
jerryppark@comcast.net
615-969-6540


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    Author

    Loretta Saff, M.A., CPC, CPRC
    As an active writer, both nationally and internationally, Loretta Saff's humor columns, blog, and lifestyle articles reflect an insight in dealing with situations that helps people get to their core issues and encourage confidence, trust and support.

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