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Dear Tom, I TOLD YOU SO!

3/20/2022

I don’t often talk like that. In fact, I find that I will go out of my way not to say it or even hint at it. But now since Tom Brady is back, I will state it in capital letters:

I Told You So!

Let me explain. If you will recall, in one of my recent blogs,

Retiring the Big R - Imagine the Possibilities!

I talked about trying to find a substitute for the word ‘Retirement.’ I do feel replacing (or enhancing) the word is important because the connotation is just dripping with...

"it’s over!
you’re a has been!
you are outa here! and
you have become a 'usta be!’ "

Tom Brady felt it, I’m sure. After all, when he decided to quit playing football, here is how he announced it: “I am not going to make that competitive commitment anymore.”

Rather fancy, huh? Kind of a dancing around the situation, right? He could not bring himself to say, “The Big R” word, so he just used some other pretty words instead. But the meaning was there: I am retiring and “imagining the possibilities.” … at least for a little while.

"Acting Before Thinking is Regret"

Here we are two months later, and I’m sure you heard the news:

Tom Brady said Sunday he is returning to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers for his 23rd season in the NFL. The seven-time Super Bowl champion announced his decision on Twitter and Instagram, saying he has unfinished business.

Uh, yeah. ‘Unfinished business.’ Ok, now maybe you will try to tell me he was made an offer he couldn’t refuse. Money? Really? Tom Brady would be swayed by the money? I doubt it.

Instead, he found himself in the position that I have warned you against - namely, regretting the decision soon after leaving work and then wasting time trying to figure it all out. It can be nice during that honeymoon phase of the first few months, having no schedule or responsibility. But it’s when you start longing for connection, searching for identity and finding your purpose that the questioning and doubting begin.

The Takeaway

Unless you are forced out, do not leave your work until you have some idea about how and with whom you will spend your time. It is so important to get involved in some interesting, satisfying, and challenging activities OUTSIDE OF WORK many years before you plan on reaching ‘The Big R.’ Which brings me to another of my blogs:

A Sense of Belonging..., It's a Basic Human Need!

Please go back and reread my two previous blogs through the links above. Be smart, and don’t be like Tom Brady. (Has anyone ever said that before?) Contact a Retirement Coach today (maybe me?) and imagine the possibilities! Enough said, except ...

I TOLD YOU SO!

Loretta
P.S. If anyone out there knows Tom, please send him my contact information. I’ll be glad to help him figure things out.

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A SENSE OF BELONGING - It's a Basic Human Need

3/2/2022

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I recently worked with an executive who was thinking about retirement. In one of our initial sessions, I asked him about his hobbies.

“HOBBIES? HOBBIES?
Loretta, do you really think I have time for HOBBIES?!” he ranted.

Rather than wait for him to work out why I was asking, I quickly changed the wording. “OK,” I said. “Let’s try it this way: What are you good at and enjoy doing such that you completely lose track of time?”

This made him pause. He knew he was good at a lot of things, but it had been so long since he had done many of them that he wasn’t sure he still could. He began to realize that he had been so steeped in his work and glued to his schedule that he rarely did what he liked to do. And…, if he took time for himself, he felt selfish!

Call them HOBBIES or PASSIONS or even INTERESTS, making time in your life for things you enjoy - whether you are 25 or 65 - is important.

It’s important for your emotional wellbeing; it’s important for your mental stimulation and…IT’S REALLY IMPORTANT FOR RETIREMENT.

Retirement can be lonely. Sure, you can find yourself newly retired and then decide to ‘do what I want to do when I want to do it!’ Your search may take a little longer and be a lot more difficult than if you had started years ago, but yes, you can begin after the Retirement Party.

If, on the other hand, you have already been involved in a few activities you enjoy before you retire, you have a head start on interacting with people who share your interests. Let me remind you, the feeling of belonging is one of our basic human needs. Yes, right up there with food and shelter.

When a person stops working, that sense of belonging, of being ‘included’ or identified as part of a team/company/title can slip away. Some people feel like outsiders in their own life. That’s why it is important – starting today - to make time for the things you really enjoy doing.

If you still need more convincing to get started now, here are three reasons that are backed by science:

1 - BETTER WORK PERFORMANCE

A study in the Journal of Occupational and Organizational Psychology finds marked differences between those who engage in hobbies and those who do not. This includes a better attitude at work and more creativity on projects.

2 - IMPROVED PHYSICAL AND MENTAL HEALTH

A study of enjoyable leisure activities measured by Pittsburgh Enjoyable Activities Test (PEAT) shows “Higher PEAT scores were associated with lower blood pressure, total cortisol, waist circumference, and body mass index, and perceptions of better physical function.

3 - REDUCED STRESS

A study by Matthew Zawadzki, a health psychologist at the University of California, shows that leisure activity can provide immediate stress relief, which has been shown to have both health and psychological benefits, like improved focus, happiness and a longer life.

…and who wouldn’t be impressed by those reasons!

So, get started. Explore how to get involved in activities you’ve put aside or always wanted to learn more about. You will make new friends (outside of work), enjoy sharing an interest, and have fun being around others who like to do what you do. And Happy Retirement, whenever that is!

-Loretta
P.S. In case you missed it, recently the Mars Wrigley Corporation (owner of M&Ms) made some changes you can read about here. They decided their multicolored mascots were not reaching all of society in their ads. A change was necessary “to create a world where everyone feels they belong."

Photo from Today.com

Start planning for retirement NOW to avoid finding yourself spending your days at home in front of the TV - with a bowl of M&Ms!

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Retiring the Big-R - Imagine the Possibilities!

2/3/2022

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I had to smile this morning when I heard the TV anchor say, “Tom Brady is Retiring!!” OMG! Of course, the anchor wanted to interview several people about this breaking news. Then, when he sent the camera over to get more from an interview with a popular sportscaster, one of the first things the sportscaster said was,
“Tom Brady did not use the word ‘retirement’ in his press release!”
Here it is:

"I have always believed the sport of football is an 'all-in' proposition - if a 100% competitive commitment isn't there, you won't succeed, and success is what I love so much about our game," Brady wrote. "There is a physical, mental, and emotional challenge EVERY single day that has allowed me to maximize my highest potential. And I have tried my very best these past 22 years.

There are no shortcuts to success on the field or in life. This is difficult for me to write, but here it goes: I am not going to make that competitive commitment anymore. I have loved my NFL career, and now it is time to focus my time and energy on other things that require my attention.
I've done a lot of reflecting the past week and have asked myself difficult questions. And I am so proud of what we have achieved. My teammates, coaches, fellow competitors, and fans deserve 100% of me, but right now, it's best I leave the field of play to the next generation of dedicated and committed athletes."

"Tom Brady is … what? "

Tom Brady refused to use that R-word because of its connotation which made me think of a blog I shared last year about a conversation I had with my friend Emily. I think he could have followed my suggestion about the Big-R and simply winked and said, "IMAGINE THE POSSIBILITIES!"
~~

My friend Emily and I were out walking last week. Suddenly she stopped short and said, “Did you hear that Bob did The Big-R?” I was puzzled. “The Big-R?”

“That which cannot be named,” she uttered in her best Harry Potter-esque voice. I smiled and leaned in closer and whispered, “Are you talking about ‘Retirement’?”

“Shhh!” she hissed. “Seriously, don’t use that word anymore. It conveys the wrong message!”

“What in the world do you mean?” I asked. She sighed, and I felt like she was searching for a way to say something nicely. “You, of all people, should know.”

“Look,” I said, “I know there is a lot of misinterpretation about the word ‘Retirement,’ but really, … comparing it to *Voldemort?”

Emily shook her head. “Misinterpretation? People hear the Big-R word and think the person is over the hill, incapable of anything new and fresh…, and, basically, A HAS BEEN!”

My mouth dropped open. “Ok, here’s proof!” she said as she pulled out her phone and pointed to a webpage. “Just look at the definition from the fancy Oxford English Language Dictionary!”

*Retirement (Noun)
1. giving up work, stopping work
2. seclusion, retreat, solitude, loneliness,
isolation, privacy, obscurity

I could hardly believe what I was reading

I looked in amazement as she continued. “I have no problem with definition #1 but check out #2! And, by the way, I’ve been thinking maybe you should stick with being called a ‘Life Coach.’ If this is how people are viewing The Big-R, listing yourself first as a Retirement Coach could put people off!”

Just like a Life Coach, a Retirement Coach helps people deal with life’s transitions.

“Oh, Em,” I said shaking my head. “Just like a Life Coach, a Retirement Coach helps people deal with life’s transitions. It’s like the change from being single and then getting married or going from being a couple to having kids. ‘The Big-R’ requires thinking about and planning for the next 20 to 30 years! A person will have more time and more choices for not just how to fill the day but also for how to feel fulfilled at the end of the day. Planning is how to avoid definition #2!” We decided to order coffee and sat down outside.

“If it was my dictionary,” I continued, “Definition #2 would be something like,

Retirement (Noun)
"The opportunity and time to energize lifestyle,
renew interests, and create new adventures.”

As Emily thought about it, I decided to have some fun and sound less like a coach. “Take Clark Kent, for example. He knew he was meant to use his superpowers to seek truth and justice, but he couldn’t just transition from Smallville to Metropolis without a plan to protect his identity! He got a job as a reporter at the Daily Planet and located a nearby phone booth.” She started laughing and almost choked on her coffee. But she was listening.

“Since he’d already mapped out his plan, when he was needed he rushed to the phone booth, took off his shirt and glasses, and he became SUPERMAN!!” She was wondering if I was serious, so I continued,

“Here’s another example - suppose you decide to get fit and enter a half marathon. You wouldn’t just get up that morning, put on a good pair of running shoes and join the race - hoping to get to the finish line, right?! You’d map out a training program to make sure you were prepared to succeed.”

She wiped some coffee from her chin and laughed out loud. “Ok, but what about other people’s reactions? I just saw Susan, and she was complaining that her neighbors think since she is around all the time, she can watch for their deliveries!” She paused, “And her kids think she is a full-time babysitter; they assume she’s always available.”

Today, more than 50% of retirees are working
part-time and others are volunteering or
busy learning something new.

I smiled and shook my head. “Stop worrying about other people! The fact is that it’s smart to approach retirement with a plan and an attitude of adventure and creativity.

Today, more than 50% of retirees are working part-time and others are volunteering or busy learning something new. It does not have to be solitude and loneliness!

“So,” Emily said. “What now? It’s obvious we need to do something about that word!” I smiled. “Well, you’re right and people have made lots of suggestions. But the Big-R word has been around a long time. Instead, I say we keep the word ‘Retirement’ and just add a tag line:

So YOU GO, TOM BRADY! And when interviewed next time, just smile and say
"Imagine the Possibilities!"

Loretta

*Voldemort, also known as 'The Dark Lord' in the Harry Potter series, was so evil that even his name was not to be spoken.
*Oxford Languages is the world’s leading dictionary publisher, with over 150 years of experience creating and delivering authoritative dictionaries globally in more than 50 languages.

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Good Advice for a Happy New Year!

1/5/2022

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Remember your New Year’s Resolutions for 2021? (You did make some, right?) Remember how sincere and optimistic you tried to be?

Let’s take a moment to check how we did with last year’s promises. I’ve just checked mine, and here’s my review:

10 RESOLUTIONS I MADE FOR 2021
AND WHETHER I KEPT THEM OR NOT

1. No.
2. Nope.
3. Certainly not!
4. No way!
5. Uh, Negative.

6. Zero...
7. Whoops!
8. Nah!
9. Not at all.
10. Maybe next year...?

Why, you may ask, were those 10 very well-thought-out and important resolutions not kept? Well, it’s because of …uh..,. because… um...., Actually, I'm not sure. What about you? Are you a good ‘resolution keeper'?

I can remember other years and other resolutions that started out strong (i.e., that Fasting Diet) and then slowly faded away. I soon realized this is a common problem, and we could all use a little help standing strong to our promises for the new year.

So, I’m glad to tell you that help has arrived! I’ve decided that one of the major problems is THE WORD ITSELF!

“Resolutions” are usually vague and offer very little motivation –

I’m going to lose weight;
I will do better with money;
I can learn a language!

What would happen if instead of calling them New Year’s Resolutions, we all decide to call them NEW YEAR'S GOALS?

After all, goals are specific; goals have a timeline and require immediate action. So, my suggestion to all is that this year we all make – New Year’s GOALS!

I can hear you now. “How is just calling it something else going to help me stick to my ‘goals.’ Thanks for asking. My suggestion also just happens to include a method!

Meet SMART goals. See, already the word is making you sit up tall and feel clever. SMART goals were developed by three men, George Doran, Arthur Miller and James Cunningham in their 1981 article “There’s a S.M.A.R.T. way to write management goals and objectives.”

That’s right – SMART goals refers to the acronym that was developed by businesspeople to help management set their goals and objectives. But, when I think about it, S.M.A.R.T. is a smart way for all of us to find focus and motivation.

Here is what the letters mean:

S – SPECIFIC
M – MEASURABLE
A – ACHIEVABLE
R – REALISTIC
T – TIMELY

Think about it (that’s the smart part, too). Being Specific, Achievable and Realistic are just sensible and already get you halfway there. For the Measurable part – keep a journal to track your progress along the way! And certainly, one of the most important considerations is Timely. Choose a date by which you feel you can accomplish the challenge. Then, get started!

For Example,

“Going to lose weight” becomes ‘Lose 5 lbs in 6 weeks with the Weight Watchers Diet.”
“Do better with money” becomes “Call the bank and ask to work with a financial advisor for two months to help manage my funds.”
“Learn a language,” becomes “Sign up for Babbel or Duolingo by January 10th to start taking free lessons to learn Italian.”

There you have it. Don’t those sound more Specific Measurable Achievable Realistic and Timely? This year, turn your ‘Resolutions’ into GOALS and enjoy being called a 'smart-y' pants!

Happy New Year!

~ Loretta

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Be Nice!

12/13/2021

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This was originally posted in November 2019. It resonates just as much now as we close out 2021.

I got a call from THE ELF ON THE SHELF yesterday. The conversation went something like this:

Elf:  Hi. Listen, I’m kind of in a hurry, so I’m hoping you can help me get something out to remind people of what’s important.

Me:  Ok, what’s on your mind?

Elf:  Well, let’s just say that lately everywhere I look there seems to be a lot more naughty than nice. People are rude; smiles are few and far between, and taking the time to help one another seems to be out of style! I’m just exhausted!

Me: What happened?

Elf:  Well, I was up high on a shelf at the grocery store and constantly I saw people racing to get in front of others in the checkout line. Then I hung out at the new office building downtown (where there’s a shelf at the welcome desk with a great view), and I watched the people hurrying and purposely closing the elevator doors before anyone else could get in! And at night I was peeking around the merlot wines at your favorite restaurant, and I was really surprised to hear constant laughter as people made fun of other people as they walked by. I mean, seriously? What’s happened to NICE?

Just do this for me. And by the way … rather than your offering ‘9 steps’ or ‘4 tips’ or even ‘2 sure-fire ways’ to reduce stress this holiday season. Tell people to follow this advice and watch the changes.

I couldn’t help smiling. This guy made a lot of sense. And so I promised Elf that I would send out a memo. So, here goes:

MEMO TO EVERYONE!

To: Everyone
From: Everyone Else
Date: Today and Every day
Subject: BE NICE

It has come to my attention that there has been a slacking off on BEING NICE. Somehow common courtesy has been pushed aside to make room for iPhones, multitasking, and always being in a hurry. This has caused a lot of hurt feelings and negative attitudes.

As a result, I am encouraging all people to slow down and take some time to be considerate and kind to each other. YOU be the one who smiles more often and treats people the way that you want to be treated.

Studies have shown that when people include random acts of kindness in their day, it gives the brain a serotonin boost and results in a feeling of well being and satisfaction. The doer feels great, and the recipient is overcome with a ‘pay-it-forward’ attitude. The entire atmosphere changes.

Put this suggestion into effect immediately and make it a prominent part of your daily routine. It will result in stronger friendships, more enjoyable activities and workplaces and may even increase your gifts at Holiday Time.

This is just a hint from someone in the know.

Thanks for your cooperation,

The Elf on the Shelf

nice!

Have a great Holiday Season regardless of how you celebrate. Just be sure that whatever you are doing and whomever you are with, remember to BE NICE.

Do it for yourself – and for the Elf.

Loretta

P.S. If you want to share some ‘nice’ that either you’ve done or seen, send me a note. I’ll make sure it gets to the Elf.

#holidays #elfontheshelf #kindness #lifestrategies

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Podcast Episode 4: In Retirement, Be a Teacher, a Student, ... or Both!

12/3/2021

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Episode 4 focuses on being a lifelong learner.

What if I told you that you can take noncredit courses on university campuses with no assignments or grades?

In my conversation with retired Vanderbilt University Professor Dr. Ed Friedman, we talk about resources for retirees who love learning. Whether you want to be the student or the teacher, the Osher Lifelong Learning Institute (OLLI) offers intellectually stimulating ways to fill your days in retirement as well as a chance to meet people with similar interests.

WATCH PODCAST

About our Episode Guest

Edward H. Friedman
Retired Vanderbilt University Professor & Osher Life Long Learning Program teacher
[email protected]
Olli (Osher Lifelong Learing Institute)

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Can We Have a Halloween Group Hug Now?!

10/21/2021

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Despite the availability and access to the Covid-19 vaccine, there is still a lot of stress circulating around Halloween this year. We all didn't imagine we'd still be feeling this way a year later, but here we are! So, I wanted to reshare last year's Halloween post, which still resonates.
~~

Lately, I've gotten a lot of requests for my services as a Life/Retirement/Transition Coach. This time, I immediately thought the answer was group coaching.

Normally, I don’t share information about clients, but in order to help you understand that we need to reach out and help each other, I have obtained releases from anyone involved in this note.

Last week I held a group session with five attendees. Each had their own issues, and each was truly concerned. I’m sure you will recognize them:

Wanda, the Witch
Cornelia, the Candy Corn
Casper, the Friendly Ghost
Terry, the Tarantula
Peter, the Pumpkin

I asked each in turn “What is going on?” and here are their answers:

Wanda: “It’s becoming more and more common. You’ve seen it, and you’ve probably even laughed at it. Well, last week it happened to me.”

SLAM! There I was, face flat into the tree

I gave her a questioning look.

“I was on my broom and one of my earbuds fell out. I had to look down to retrieve it - and SLAM! There I was, face flat into the tree. I heard people laughing! Why didn’t my radar warn me about the tree? Am I getting too old? Should I retire?”

Cornelia: She spoke softly and made eye contact with each member of the group.

“Look, as early as the 1880s I became popular. My three colorful layers are attractive, and I’m small and easy to eat.”

She teared up.

Ok, Ok, I guess I should just retire - right

“At least I WAS easy to eat. I’m the most fun to eat by the handful! And, I mean, really, with COVID-19 people don’t want to eat anything by the handful!”

She started to sob.

“I’m fat free and keep in the refrigerator for up to 9 months, but nobody really wants me now... Ok, Ok, I guess I should just retire – right?”
Casper was next.

Casper: "Yeah, it’s not rocket science. You all know me – you know me by my full name, ‘Casper the Friendly Ghost.'"

He started to smile a little, and then the smile faded.

“That’s right; I’m a non-conformist. I’d rather make friends than scare people. I know I’m different from the rest of the haunt team, but it is who I am. I like people; I’ve made friends before. I don’t like scaring them.”

Wanda started to snicker.

“Whoever heard of a friendly ghost?” she muttered. I had to shhh! her.

“And now there is COVID-19,” Casper continued. “People can’t even be with their regular friends, so you can bet no one wants to talk to a friendly ghost! What should I do? I have a lot of years ahead of me!”

Then it was Terry’s turn.

Terry: “Ha – you think you guys have issues? You think you don’t know what to do ‘next’? When I was a little tiny tarantula, my Mama told me I was cute. Then I left the nest, and it all ended.”

He looked around, daring people to challenge him.

He looked around, daring people to challenge him.

“I remember the first time I became aware of Halloween! Look around, guys! Do you notice how many phony spiders people put out – on the lawn/on the bushes/crawling up the front of the house! THEY ARE ALL TARANTULAS! What do you think this does to my self-image?”

Everyone got quiet.

“I know, I crawl; I have long hairy legs, and I have eight eyes. But I’m harmless to people! If I bite, it’s no worse than a bee sting – okay? Look it up! So, what’s a young guy like me to do with a reputation like that?”

Wanda started muttering again. “Maybe you remind people of the COVID virus,” she whispered.

I talked over her. “Ok, Peter, it’s your turn.”

"Let's face it, the pumpkin is the
symbol for both Fall and Halloween"

Peter: “Well, in comparison, maybe my problem is not so bad. I mean, let’s face it, the pumpkin is the symbol for both Fall and Halloween."

“I know, I’ve been pretty lucky over the years - always the one up front – inside and outside – enjoying the popularity and fun.

His voice softened.

“But then, enter plastic and inflatables. Enter strange colors and shapes. How can I keep up with those inexpensive, use year-to-year decorations? Even on the flavor side – so many cheaper, easy-to-use imitations! In chips/pancake mix/coffee – even donuts!

People are pumpkin crazy, but they are not using the real thing!”

He looked up at me and sighed.

“And now COVID-19. There used to be pumpkin carving parties. Now no one is gathering groups together to sit close and carve. I may be able to hold out for a few more years, but I need a plan, a new direction. Should I retire?”

I let the air settle for a few minutes. Group sessions are not easy. A person (or a pumpkin) can listen and feel their issue is not so bad, or the participant can take on everyone’s problems and go away feeling worse.

I decided there was only one answer and it applied to the whole group.

“I think,” (I said carefully)
“The answer for all of you is the same:
1. Decide what you really want.
2. Think of ways to reidentify yourself.
3. Find a new path to reach your goal. "

Ask yourself important questions like

Wanda – How much of who you are is your broom?
Cornelia – In what other ways can the world use candy corn?
Casper & Terry – Especially during this time of COVID-19, it’s best you stay under the radar. What if you two got together and taught a class about ghosts and spiders on Zoom?
Peter – With a legacy like yours, why not share your life story with the rest of the world? Who do you know that can help with the writing?

A person (or a pumpkin) can listen and feel their issue is not so bad, or the participant can take on everyone’s problems and go away feeling worse.

Before I left the room, I looked around and smiled. “Of course, If you want to talk more about planning for the days and years ahead, give me a call!”

As the door shut, I heard Casper shout:

“That was amazing! Ok, everybody, MASKS ON – Let’s have a Group Hug!”

~ HAPPY HALLOWEEN

-Loretta

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I've Got a (Second) Secret - a Tech Talk

9/24/2021

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Warning
This blog may offend you. In it I speak to you straight,
no beating around the bush.

Yes, I’ve got a second secret. Remember when I told you that one of the first secrets of dealing with adjusting to changes in life - including enjoying a successful retirement - is having a positive attitude? Well, that is absolutely right. (If you slept through that lesson, go back and read it again.)

But there is more. Regardless of how old you are, I’m pretty sure you do not want to face years of waking up wondering what you can do today and why you should do it. I’m pretty sure your goals do not include lack of curiosity and years of watching others enjoy their days feeling full of purpose, while you sit in front of the TV. If I’m wrong, skip this blog and check today’s tv guide.

That said, here is my second secret:

Learn How To Use Technology!

Yes, you read that correctly. It won’t help for you to whine or squirm or say things like, “I’m too old” “It’s too hard” “Leave me alone.” In fact, you won’t even have to say the “Leave me alone” part because that train will have already left the station.

Plainly speaking, if you don't attempt to learn the basics of using the computer and your smart phone, you will be left out...

... of both the virtual world and increasingly many IRL "in real life" events as well. I'm talking about activities such as booking and confirming appointments and events with friends, doctors, restaurants / listening to music and watching TV and movies / communicating with the world outside your home.

There, I’ve said it. So put on your big boy/girl pants and get ready to learn.

Let's Start By Asking the Right Questions

1. WHO?

Who needs to learn and Who can teach

WHO needs to learn? You do! Yes, you - along with anyone else who feels like they don't have a good basic grasp of current smart phone and internet technology or who simply does not want to be left out.

Who can teach? The first people I recommend for you to turn to is your family -

Significant Other
Kids/Grandkids
Aunts
Uncles
Cousins
Results of ancestry.com

If those come up empty, try friends and neighbors or a volunteer organization. You may have to pay some of these people but trust me, it will be worth it. Maybe you can barter - bake/consult/garden, or offer a skill in which you excel.

The point is don’t be shy or try to overthink it. Just do it.

2. WHAT?

What technology should you master first?

The basics of the computer hardware – keyboard/screen/mouse/video camera or touchpad/power, printer, etc.
Then, basic usage of those devices: accessing and searching the internet/reading and writing emails/ joining a Zoom meeting / accessing news or entertainment, etc.
I am assuming you already have some sort of phone to stay in touch. Ask for lessons on how to use it beyond dialing a number, including text and instant messaging. That is how much of the world communicates now.

My purpose is not to scold or belittle. My purpose is to get you in touch with what is out there today – sort of like my podcast, RESOURCES FOR A MODERN RETIREMENT – to help you help yourself enjoy every day to its fullest.

3. WHERE?

Where should I learn?

Wherever it is easiest for you. If you don’t have a computer, ask the person who will teach you if you can work on theirs. If you can afford it, then purchase a computer (desktop or laptop), tablet, smartphone, or other electronic device. If someone who cares about your future would like to buy you a gift, put it on the list. In the meantime, practice your lessons by going to the library or borrowing a device.

4. WHEN?

When is the right time to start learning?

Now. Today. Get Started.

5. WHY?

Why do I need to learn this stuff now?
I don't even need or want a device.

You need to learn this so you won’t be left behind. The reality is that the world is now more digital than not. Most individuals and businesses communicate via text message and/or email. Want to find a phone number or address? ... it's online. Can't find the manual for your vacuum? ... it's online. Need to access your banking information without going to the bank? ... it's online. Want to watch a movie? ... it's online. Especially in the age of Covid, everything you need can be accessed virtually, if you know how.

and

6. HOW?

How do I find the information I need to learn?

There are lots of ways for you to learn. If you already know how to get online to the internet, YouTube is a great resource for "how-tos". If you aren't comfortable yet searching online, take a trip to your local library or bookstore. Ask for the "Dummies" series of books on digital literacy. The National Institute on Aging has some helpful glossaries of computer and internet terms. Go ahead, try those.

If you are the one doing the teaching, here is a great guide to help teach tech to seniors.

I won’t give you homework like finding friends from high school or using Google Earth to walk down your street. (But you've got to admit those sound kind of interesting!)

Yes,I do understand that things like passwords and email addresses and saving documents and pictures can be frustrating and challenging, but getting comfortable with these technologies will lessen frustration and open a new world for you and a way to explore your curiosity and create new goals.

Go ahead – you have a new goal now. Have fun!

You're welcome,
Loretta

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Tee Shirt Messages - Start a Conversation

7/30/2021

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Today, Let's Talk About Tee Shirts

Let's talk tee shirts. Do you have any tee shirts with messages or quotes on them? By the way, I’m not talking about those that show off your taste in designers, styles, concerts, or sports’ teams. I’m talking about the ones with inspirational quotes or sayings that caught your eye and that you just had to buy.

Maybe the reason you wanted the shirt was because you thought it was ‘pretty’ or ‘cute and funny,’ or perhaps you really wanted to communicate the message.

I have a few tees that I bought because I liked the message and felt that they contained ‘words of wisdom’ that we could all use and even benefit from. In fact, I hoped they would be noticed because they could be good ‘conversation starters!’

Here are three of my 'message' tee shirts for you:

1. "Where focus goes, energy flows."

Think about that for a while. Research shows that the stories we tell ourselves reflect how we act. But we must remember that Our brains and our emotions are strongly connected. Let’s say you are walking into a social situation – a new friend is having a party. You don’t know her friends, and you are wondering if there will be anyone there for you to talk with.

When you walk in do you think:

"I’ll just stop by for a minute and then leave."
"Who are these people? No one will talk to me!"
"OMG – I should have worn the green dress. Why did I choose these shoes? What was I thinking?"

And then, when you get home, you wonder why you did not have a good time!

In his 2009 book, The Big Leap, psychologist Gay Hendricks presents an interesting theory about why we self-sabotage. He says that many people have an upper-limit mindset to the amount of positivity and success that can be tolerated. According to Professor Hendricks, when this limit is reached a person must sabotage themselves to return to a sense of normalcy. A limit to positivity and success? Yikes!

REMINDER #1: STOP SELF-SABOTAGE! CHANGE YOUR FOCUS AND ALLOW A POSITIVE MINDSET TO BRING SUCCESS!

2. "Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."

This is one of my favorites!

When my kids were young, I led a school team for a competition titled, “Odyssey of the Mind,” based on challenges for creative thoughts and ideas. To this day I love it when clients think ‘out of the box,’ allowing their imagination to soar. Check out my blog titled, “What is It?”

When people allow themselves to broaden their choices, they become more creative and more interesting. You don't have to follow the crowd. Go ahead, give yourself permission! You'll find new ways and create new paths to achieve your goals.

Indeed, Robert Frost said it best,

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I –
I took the one less traveled by
And that has made all the difference.

Steve Jobs and Elon Musk did. They had a dream, not really knowing where it would lead them. In fact, along this untrodden path there were stumbles and almost-ruination (you can look it up). But they did not give up.

REMINDER #2: BE BRAVE! CREATE A NEW PATH, AND
YOU BE THE ONE TO LEAVE THE TRAIL.

Remember the ad Steve jobs created in the late 90’s for Apple called Think Different:

“Here’s to the crazy ones. The rebels. The misfits.
Because the people who are crazy enough to think
they can change the world – are the ones who do.”

And finally,

3. "But first let me overreact."

Did your eyebrows just go up? Did you immediately react to this image? Exactly.

Maybe you were trying to understand what it means. Maybe it made you mad to see another ridiculous example of words on a tee shirt. Or maybe you wondered why anyone would buy such a shirt - much less wear it. So, you simply dismissed it

and just continued reading.

But because this is a tee shirt image in a blog, your dismissal is less noticeable than a real confrontation. In a conversation when we are faced with someone or something we don't agree with, our first reaction is often to overreact. This message is a simple reminder to take a few moments to think about what was said - or what you just saw - before you react.

Of course, you have the right to disagree, comment, or even challenge in the situation. But how often do you wish you had simply taken a little extra time to think over your response? This does not imply a change of feelings, although sometimes it might.

Think about how many friendships and relationships could be saved by following this simple advice.

During the pause, simply count to 10 (to yourself) as you consider how you can say what you want to say. This diffuses the impulse to REACT (and sometimes OVERREACT), and you can then offer your calmer RESPONSE.

REMINDER #3: WHATEVER THE SITUATION, REMEMBER TO PAUSE, THINK FOR A MOMENT, AND THEN RESPOND!

Now, let me know which tee shirt words or sayings have inspired you. Please don’t send ones that are cutesie or insulting. Instead, tell me what made you buy the shirt and want to spread the message. Send me pictures of the ones you think would make good 'conversation starters.'

I shared mine:

CHANGE YOUR FOCUS
CHOOSE THE PATH NOT FOLLOWED
FIRST PAUSE, THEN RESPOND

Happy August!
Loretta

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Podcast Episode 3: Questions to Ask When Choosing a Financial Advisor

7/26/2021

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Episode 3 focuses on the types of questions you should be asking when choosing a financial advisor.

Maybe you don’t have a financial advisor yet. Maybe you’ve often wondered what questions to ask when talking about planning for Retirement. Do you know what fiduciary means? Should you have long-term care insurance? Join Carolyn Fleury, Wealth Management Specialist at Merrill Lynch, and me as we address eight important topics you do not want to overlook.

Watch Video

About our Episode Guest

Carolyn Fleury

Wealth Management Specialist
Merrill Lynch
[email protected]
402-496-5134

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I Told You So!

"Acting Before Thinking is Regret"

The Takeaway

“HOBBIES? HOBBIES?​Loretta, do you really think I have time for HOBBIES?!” he ranted.

Call them HOBBIES or PASSIONS or even INTERESTS, making time in your life for things you enjoy - whether you are 25 or 65 - is important.

If you still need more convincing to get started now, here are three reasons that are backed by science:

1 - BETTER WORK PERFORMANCE

2 - IMPROVED PHYSICAL AND MENTAL HEALTH

3 - REDUCED STRESS

…and who wouldn’t be impressed by those reasons!

Start planning for retirement NOW to avoid finding yourself spending your days at home in front of the TV - with a bowl of M&Ms!

"Tom Brady is … ​what? "

Just like a Life Coach, a Retirement Coach helps people deal with life’s transitions.

Today, more than 50% of retirees are working​part-time and others are volunteering orbusy learning something new.

nice!

Episode 4 focuses on being a lifelong learner.

About our Episode Guest

SLAM! There I was, face flat into the tree

Ok, Ok, I guess I should just retire - right

He looked around, daring people to challenge him.

"Let's face it, the pumpkin is the​symbol for both Fall and Halloween"

A person (or a pumpkin) can listen and feel their issue is not so bad, or the participant can take on everyone’s problems and go away feeling worse.

*Warning*This blog may offend you. In it I speak to you straight,no beating around the bush.

Learn How To Use Technology!

Let's Start By Asking the Right Questions

Today, Let's Talk About Tee Shirts

1. "Where focus goes, energy flows."​

​2. "Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."​

3. "But first let me overreact."​

Episode 3 focuses on the types of questions you should be asking when choosing a financial advisor.

About our Episode Guest

Carolyn Fleury

Author

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“HOBBIES? HOBBIES?
Loretta, do you really think I have time for HOBBIES?!” he ranted.

"Tom Brady is … what? "

Today, more than 50% of retirees are working
part-time and others are volunteering or
busy learning something new.

"Let's face it, the pumpkin is the
symbol for both Fall and Halloween"

Warning
This blog may offend you. In it I speak to you straight,
no beating around the bush.

1. "Where focus goes, energy flows."

2. "Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."

3. "But first let me overreact."