Balance Blog: humor columns, blog and lifestyle articles

Podcast Episode 5: Get Creative in Retirement: Become a Published Photographer!

5/10/2022

Episode 5 of Resources for a Modern Retirement focuses on getting creative in retirement and finding new passions.

How are you going to spend your newfound free time in retirement? Today’s podcast introduces you to Jerry Park, who I think you will find to be an absolute inspiration.

Jerry suggests:

Think about and plan for at least four areas of interest to pursue BEFORE you retire.
Don’t be alone. Go out and mix with people because there is always someone or something that will help you connect.
Allow yourself to be creative and most of all make sure you are having FUN!

WATCH PODCAST

About Our Episode Guest

Jerry Park
Jerry Park Photography
www.jerryparkphotography.com
jerryppark@comcast.net
615-969-6540

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Dear Tom, I TOLD YOU SO!

3/20/2022

1 Comment

I don’t often talk like that. In fact, I find that I will go out of my way not to say it or even hint at it. But now since Tom Brady is back, I will state it in capital letters:

I Told You So!

Let me explain. If you will recall, in one of my recent blogs,

Retiring the Big R - Imagine the Possibilities!

I talked about trying to find a substitute for the word ‘Retirement.’ I do feel replacing (or enhancing) the word is important because the connotation is just dripping with...

"it’s over!
you’re a has been!
you are outa here! and
you have become a 'usta be!’ "

Tom Brady felt it, I’m sure. After all, when he decided to quit playing football, here is how he announced it: “I am not going to make that competitive commitment anymore.”

Rather fancy, huh? Kind of a dancing around the situation, right? He could not bring himself to say, “The Big R” word, so he just used some other pretty words instead. But the meaning was there: I am retiring and “imagining the possibilities.” … at least for a little while.

"Acting Before Thinking is Regret"

Here we are two months later, and I’m sure you heard the news:

Tom Brady said Sunday he is returning to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers for his 23rd season in the NFL. The seven-time Super Bowl champion announced his decision on Twitter and Instagram, saying he has unfinished business.

Uh, yeah. ‘Unfinished business.’ Ok, now maybe you will try to tell me he was made an offer he couldn’t refuse. Money? Really? Tom Brady would be swayed by the money? I doubt it.

Instead, he found himself in the position that I have warned you against - namely, regretting the decision soon after leaving work and then wasting time trying to figure it all out. It can be nice during that honeymoon phase of the first few months, having no schedule or responsibility. But it’s when you start longing for connection, searching for identity and finding your purpose that the questioning and doubting begin.

The Takeaway

Unless you are forced out, do not leave your work until you have some idea about how and with whom you will spend your time. It is so important to get involved in some interesting, satisfying, and challenging activities OUTSIDE OF WORK many years before you plan on reaching ‘The Big R.’ Which brings me to another of my blogs:

A Sense of Belonging..., It's a Basic Human Need!

Please go back and reread my two previous blogs through the links above. Be smart, and don’t be like Tom Brady. (Has anyone ever said that before?) Contact a Retirement Coach today (maybe me?) and imagine the possibilities! Enough said, except ...

I TOLD YOU SO!

Loretta
P.S. If anyone out there knows Tom, please send him my contact information. I’ll be glad to help him figure things out.

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A SENSE OF BELONGING - It's a Basic Human Need

3/2/2022

0 Comments

I recently worked with an executive who was thinking about retirement. In one of our initial sessions, I asked him about his hobbies.

“HOBBIES? HOBBIES?
Loretta, do you really think I have time for HOBBIES?!” he ranted.

Rather than wait for him to work out why I was asking, I quickly changed the wording. “OK,” I said. “Let’s try it this way: What are you good at and enjoy doing such that you completely lose track of time?”

This made him pause. He knew he was good at a lot of things, but it had been so long since he had done many of them that he wasn’t sure he still could. He began to realize that he had been so steeped in his work and glued to his schedule that he rarely did what he liked to do. And…, if he took time for himself, he felt selfish!

Call them HOBBIES or PASSIONS or even INTERESTS, making time in your life for things you enjoy - whether you are 25 or 65 - is important.

It’s important for your emotional wellbeing; it’s important for your mental stimulation and…IT’S REALLY IMPORTANT FOR RETIREMENT.

Retirement can be lonely. Sure, you can find yourself newly retired and then decide to ‘do what I want to do when I want to do it!’ Your search may take a little longer and be a lot more difficult than if you had started years ago, but yes, you can begin after the Retirement Party.

If, on the other hand, you have already been involved in a few activities you enjoy before you retire, you have a head start on interacting with people who share your interests. Let me remind you, the feeling of belonging is one of our basic human needs. Yes, right up there with food and shelter.

When a person stops working, that sense of belonging, of being ‘included’ or identified as part of a team/company/title can slip away. Some people feel like outsiders in their own life. That’s why it is important – starting today - to make time for the things you really enjoy doing.

If you still need more convincing to get started now, here are three reasons that are backed by science:

1 - BETTER WORK PERFORMANCE

A study in the Journal of Occupational and Organizational Psychology finds marked differences between those who engage in hobbies and those who do not. This includes a better attitude at work and more creativity on projects.

2 - IMPROVED PHYSICAL AND MENTAL HEALTH

A study of enjoyable leisure activities measured by Pittsburgh Enjoyable Activities Test (PEAT) shows “Higher PEAT scores were associated with lower blood pressure, total cortisol, waist circumference, and body mass index, and perceptions of better physical function.

3 - REDUCED STRESS

A study by Matthew Zawadzki, a health psychologist at the University of California, shows that leisure activity can provide immediate stress relief, which has been shown to have both health and psychological benefits, like improved focus, happiness and a longer life.

…and who wouldn’t be impressed by those reasons!

So, get started. Explore how to get involved in activities you’ve put aside or always wanted to learn more about. You will make new friends (outside of work), enjoy sharing an interest, and have fun being around others who like to do what you do. And Happy Retirement, whenever that is!

-Loretta
P.S. In case you missed it, recently the Mars Wrigley Corporation (owner of M&Ms) made some changes you can read about here. They decided their multicolored mascots were not reaching all of society in their ads. A change was necessary “to create a world where everyone feels they belong."

Photo from Today.com

Start planning for retirement NOW to avoid finding yourself spending your days at home in front of the TV - with a bowl of M&Ms!

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Retiring the Big-R - Imagine the Possibilities!

2/3/2022

3 Comments

I had to smile this morning when I heard the TV anchor say, “Tom Brady is Retiring!!” OMG! Of course, the anchor wanted to interview several people about this breaking news. Then, when he sent the camera over to get more from an interview with a popular sportscaster, one of the first things the sportscaster said was,
“Tom Brady did not use the word ‘retirement’ in his press release!”
Here it is:

"I have always believed the sport of football is an 'all-in' proposition - if a 100% competitive commitment isn't there, you won't succeed, and success is what I love so much about our game," Brady wrote. "There is a physical, mental, and emotional challenge EVERY single day that has allowed me to maximize my highest potential. And I have tried my very best these past 22 years.

There are no shortcuts to success on the field or in life. This is difficult for me to write, but here it goes: I am not going to make that competitive commitment anymore. I have loved my NFL career, and now it is time to focus my time and energy on other things that require my attention.
I've done a lot of reflecting the past week and have asked myself difficult questions. And I am so proud of what we have achieved. My teammates, coaches, fellow competitors, and fans deserve 100% of me, but right now, it's best I leave the field of play to the next generation of dedicated and committed athletes."

"Tom Brady is … what? "

Tom Brady refused to use that R-word because of its connotation which made me think of a blog I shared last year about a conversation I had with my friend Emily. I think he could have followed my suggestion about the Big-R and simply winked and said, "IMAGINE THE POSSIBILITIES!"
~~

My friend Emily and I were out walking last week. Suddenly she stopped short and said, “Did you hear that Bob did The Big-R?” I was puzzled. “The Big-R?”

“That which cannot be named,” she uttered in her best Harry Potter-esque voice. I smiled and leaned in closer and whispered, “Are you talking about ‘Retirement’?”

“Shhh!” she hissed. “Seriously, don’t use that word anymore. It conveys the wrong message!”

“What in the world do you mean?” I asked. She sighed, and I felt like she was searching for a way to say something nicely. “You, of all people, should know.”

“Look,” I said, “I know there is a lot of misinterpretation about the word ‘Retirement,’ but really, … comparing it to *Voldemort?”

Emily shook her head. “Misinterpretation? People hear the Big-R word and think the person is over the hill, incapable of anything new and fresh…, and, basically, A HAS BEEN!”

My mouth dropped open. “Ok, here’s proof!” she said as she pulled out her phone and pointed to a webpage. “Just look at the definition from the fancy Oxford English Language Dictionary!”

*Retirement (Noun)
1. giving up work, stopping work
2. seclusion, retreat, solitude, loneliness,
isolation, privacy, obscurity

I could hardly believe what I was reading

I looked in amazement as she continued. “I have no problem with definition #1 but check out #2! And, by the way, I’ve been thinking maybe you should stick with being called a ‘Life Coach.’ If this is how people are viewing The Big-R, listing yourself first as a Retirement Coach could put people off!”

Just like a Life Coach, a Retirement Coach helps people deal with life’s transitions.

“Oh, Em,” I said shaking my head. “Just like a Life Coach, a Retirement Coach helps people deal with life’s transitions. It’s like the change from being single and then getting married or going from being a couple to having kids. ‘The Big-R’ requires thinking about and planning for the next 20 to 30 years! A person will have more time and more choices for not just how to fill the day but also for how to feel fulfilled at the end of the day. Planning is how to avoid definition #2!” We decided to order coffee and sat down outside.

“If it was my dictionary,” I continued, “Definition #2 would be something like,

Retirement (Noun)
"The opportunity and time to energize lifestyle,
renew interests, and create new adventures.”

As Emily thought about it, I decided to have some fun and sound less like a coach. “Take Clark Kent, for example. He knew he was meant to use his superpowers to seek truth and justice, but he couldn’t just transition from Smallville to Metropolis without a plan to protect his identity! He got a job as a reporter at the Daily Planet and located a nearby phone booth.” She started laughing and almost choked on her coffee. But she was listening.

“Since he’d already mapped out his plan, when he was needed he rushed to the phone booth, took off his shirt and glasses, and he became SUPERMAN!!” She was wondering if I was serious, so I continued,

“Here’s another example - suppose you decide to get fit and enter a half marathon. You wouldn’t just get up that morning, put on a good pair of running shoes and join the race - hoping to get to the finish line, right?! You’d map out a training program to make sure you were prepared to succeed.”

She wiped some coffee from her chin and laughed out loud. “Ok, but what about other people’s reactions? I just saw Susan, and she was complaining that her neighbors think since she is around all the time, she can watch for their deliveries!” She paused, “And her kids think she is a full-time babysitter; they assume she’s always available.”

Today, more than 50% of retirees are working
part-time and others are volunteering or
busy learning something new.

I smiled and shook my head. “Stop worrying about other people! The fact is that it’s smart to approach retirement with a plan and an attitude of adventure and creativity.

Today, more than 50% of retirees are working part-time and others are volunteering or busy learning something new. It does not have to be solitude and loneliness!

“So,” Emily said. “What now? It’s obvious we need to do something about that word!” I smiled. “Well, you’re right and people have made lots of suggestions. But the Big-R word has been around a long time. Instead, I say we keep the word ‘Retirement’ and just add a tag line:

So YOU GO, TOM BRADY! And when interviewed next time, just smile and say
"Imagine the Possibilities!"

Loretta

*Voldemort, also known as 'The Dark Lord' in the Harry Potter series, was so evil that even his name was not to be spoken.
*Oxford Languages is the world’s leading dictionary publisher, with over 150 years of experience creating and delivering authoritative dictionaries globally in more than 50 languages.

3 Comments

Good Advice for a Happy New Year!

1/5/2022

4 Comments

Remember your New Year’s Resolutions for 2021? (You did make some, right?) Remember how sincere and optimistic you tried to be?

Let’s take a moment to check how we did with last year’s promises. I’ve just checked mine, and here’s my review:

10 RESOLUTIONS I MADE FOR 2021
AND WHETHER I KEPT THEM OR NOT

1. No.
2. Nope.
3. Certainly not!
4. No way!
5. Uh, Negative.

6. Zero...
7. Whoops!
8. Nah!
9. Not at all.
10. Maybe next year...?

Why, you may ask, were those 10 very well-thought-out and important resolutions not kept? Well, it’s because of …uh..,. because… um...., Actually, I'm not sure. What about you? Are you a good ‘resolution keeper'?

I can remember other years and other resolutions that started out strong (i.e., that Fasting Diet) and then slowly faded away. I soon realized this is a common problem, and we could all use a little help standing strong to our promises for the new year.

So, I’m glad to tell you that help has arrived! I’ve decided that one of the major problems is THE WORD ITSELF!

“Resolutions” are usually vague and offer very little motivation –

I’m going to lose weight;
I will do better with money;
I can learn a language!

What would happen if instead of calling them New Year’s Resolutions, we all decide to call them NEW YEAR'S GOALS?

After all, goals are specific; goals have a timeline and require immediate action. So, my suggestion to all is that this year we all make – New Year’s GOALS!

I can hear you now. “How is just calling it something else going to help me stick to my ‘goals.’ Thanks for asking. My suggestion also just happens to include a method!

Meet SMART goals. See, already the word is making you sit up tall and feel clever. SMART goals were developed by three men, George Doran, Arthur Miller and James Cunningham in their 1981 article “There’s a S.M.A.R.T. way to write management goals and objectives.”

That’s right – SMART goals refers to the acronym that was developed by businesspeople to help management set their goals and objectives. But, when I think about it, S.M.A.R.T. is a smart way for all of us to find focus and motivation.

Here is what the letters mean:

S – SPECIFIC
M – MEASURABLE
A – ACHIEVABLE
R – REALISTIC
T – TIMELY

Think about it (that’s the smart part, too). Being Specific, Achievable and Realistic are just sensible and already get you halfway there. For the Measurable part – keep a journal to track your progress along the way! And certainly, one of the most important considerations is Timely. Choose a date by which you feel you can accomplish the challenge. Then, get started!

For Example,

“Going to lose weight” becomes ‘Lose 5 lbs in 6 weeks with the Weight Watchers Diet.”
“Do better with money” becomes “Call the bank and ask to work with a financial advisor for two months to help manage my funds.”
“Learn a language,” becomes “Sign up for Babbel or Duolingo by January 10th to start taking free lessons to learn Italian.”

There you have it. Don’t those sound more Specific Measurable Achievable Realistic and Timely? This year, turn your ‘Resolutions’ into GOALS and enjoy being called a 'smart-y' pants!

Happy New Year!

~ Loretta

4 Comments

Be Nice!

12/13/2021

2 Comments

This was originally posted in November 2019. It resonates just as much now as we close out 2021.

I got a call from THE ELF ON THE SHELF yesterday. The conversation went something like this:

Elf:  Hi. Listen, I’m kind of in a hurry, so I’m hoping you can help me get something out to remind people of what’s important.

Me:  Ok, what’s on your mind?

Elf:  Well, let’s just say that lately everywhere I look there seems to be a lot more naughty than nice. People are rude; smiles are few and far between, and taking the time to help one another seems to be out of style! I’m just exhausted!

Me: What happened?

Elf:  Well, I was up high on a shelf at the grocery store and constantly I saw people racing to get in front of others in the checkout line. Then I hung out at the new office building downtown (where there’s a shelf at the welcome desk with a great view), and I watched the people hurrying and purposely closing the elevator doors before anyone else could get in! And at night I was peeking around the merlot wines at your favorite restaurant, and I was really surprised to hear constant laughter as people made fun of other people as they walked by. I mean, seriously? What’s happened to NICE?

Just do this for me. And by the way … rather than your offering ‘9 steps’ or ‘4 tips’ or even ‘2 sure-fire ways’ to reduce stress this holiday season. Tell people to follow this advice and watch the changes.

I couldn’t help smiling. This guy made a lot of sense. And so I promised Elf that I would send out a memo. So, here goes:

MEMO TO EVERYONE!

To: Everyone
From: Everyone Else
Date: Today and Every day
Subject: BE NICE

It has come to my attention that there has been a slacking off on BEING NICE. Somehow common courtesy has been pushed aside to make room for iPhones, multitasking, and always being in a hurry. This has caused a lot of hurt feelings and negative attitudes.

As a result, I am encouraging all people to slow down and take some time to be considerate and kind to each other. YOU be the one who smiles more often and treats people the way that you want to be treated.

Studies have shown that when people include random acts of kindness in their day, it gives the brain a serotonin boost and results in a feeling of well being and satisfaction. The doer feels great, and the recipient is overcome with a ‘pay-it-forward’ attitude. The entire atmosphere changes.

Put this suggestion into effect immediately and make it a prominent part of your daily routine. It will result in stronger friendships, more enjoyable activities and workplaces and may even increase your gifts at Holiday Time.

This is just a hint from someone in the know.

Thanks for your cooperation,

The Elf on the Shelf

nice!

Have a great Holiday Season regardless of how you celebrate. Just be sure that whatever you are doing and whomever you are with, remember to BE NICE.

Do it for yourself – and for the Elf.

Loretta

P.S. If you want to share some ‘nice’ that either you’ve done or seen, send me a note. I’ll make sure it gets to the Elf.

#holidays #elfontheshelf #kindness #lifestrategies

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Podcast Episode 5: Get Creative in Retirement: Become a Published Photographer!

Episode 5 of Resources for a Modern Retirement focuses on getting creative in retirement and finding new passions.

About Our Episode Guest

Dear Tom, I TOLD YOU SO!

I Told You So!

"Acting Before Thinking is Regret"

The Takeaway

A SENSE OF BELONGING - It's a Basic Human Need

“HOBBIES? HOBBIES?
Loretta, do you really think I have time for HOBBIES?!” he ranted.

Call them HOBBIES or PASSIONS or even INTERESTS, making time in your life for things you enjoy - whether you are 25 or 65 - is important.

If you still need more convincing to get started now, here are three reasons that are backed by science:

1 - BETTER WORK PERFORMANCE

2 - IMPROVED PHYSICAL AND MENTAL HEALTH

3 - REDUCED STRESS

…and who wouldn’t be impressed by those reasons!

Start planning for retirement NOW to avoid finding yourself spending your days at home in front of the TV - with a bowl of M&Ms!

Retiring the Big-R - Imagine the Possibilities!

"Tom Brady is … what? "

Just like a Life Coach, a Retirement Coach helps people deal with life’s transitions.

Today, more than 50% of retirees are working
part-time and others are volunteering or
busy learning something new.

Good Advice for a Happy New Year!

Be Nice!

nice!

Author

Archives

Categories

Email or call to set up a FREE 15-minute introductory phone session!

Telephone

Email

Podcast Episode 5: Get Creative in Retirement: Become a Published Photographer!

Episode 5 of Resources for a Modern Retirement focuses on getting creative in retirement and finding new passions.

About Our Episode Guest

Dear Tom, I TOLD YOU SO!

I Told You So!

"Acting Before Thinking is Regret"

The Takeaway

A SENSE OF BELONGING - It's a Basic Human Need

“HOBBIES? HOBBIES?​Loretta, do you really think I have time for HOBBIES?!” he ranted.

Call them HOBBIES or PASSIONS or even INTERESTS, making time in your life for things you enjoy - whether you are 25 or 65 - is important.

If you still need more convincing to get started now, here are three reasons that are backed by science:

1 - BETTER WORK PERFORMANCE

2 - IMPROVED PHYSICAL AND MENTAL HEALTH

3 - REDUCED STRESS

…and who wouldn’t be impressed by those reasons!

Start planning for retirement NOW to avoid finding yourself spending your days at home in front of the TV - with a bowl of M&Ms!

Retiring the Big-R - Imagine the Possibilities!

"Tom Brady is … ​what? "

Just like a Life Coach, a Retirement Coach helps people deal with life’s transitions.

Today, more than 50% of retirees are working​part-time and others are volunteering orbusy learning something new.

Good Advice for a Happy New Year!

Be Nice!

nice!

Author

Archives

Categories

Email or call to set up a FREE 15-minute introductory phone session!

Telephone

Email

“HOBBIES? HOBBIES?
Loretta, do you really think I have time for HOBBIES?!” he ranted.

"Tom Brady is … what? "

Today, more than 50% of retirees are working
part-time and others are volunteering or
busy learning something new.