Balance Blog: humor columns, blog and lifestyle articles

Quiet Quitters Revealed!

9/1/2022

Ok, I guess it’s not so quiet anymore.

TikTok started the crusade and mainstream media outlets picked it up. It’s all about a movement called ‘quiet quitting.’ In case you are not into TikTok and haven’t seen the video, click here.

ONE WAY to look at this craze is:

Quiet Quitters are frustrated and setting boundaries.

They say they are burned out and being strangled by their job, always ‘on’ and forever at work.
They say they weren’t hired to stay late after work hours, organize zoom calls during lunch, or answer work calls on the weekend.

ANOTHER WAY to look at it is:

Companies are tired of paying workers to work less.

Workers are hired to join a company’s ‘team,’ and expectations include extra effort for a deadline, a challenge, or a brainstorming session.
Companies don’t appreciate minimal effort. Why pay more for less?

What’s interesting about all of this is that recently a Gallop poll was taken to find out if workers of various ages were feeling engaged in the work they do. When asked, most said, “Uh, yeah, maybe 32% of the time.”

So, for those workers over 50 who are feeling less engaged on the job:

A Retirement Coach's way to look at it is:

Make the MOST of quiet quitting

What if you tried quiet quitting and found a better work/life balance? What would you do with that new-found extra time? Would you spend more time with family and friends? Learn something new? Volunteer your expertise?

Quiet quitting gives you time to prepare for the after-work years! (BTW, I say ‘after- work years’ for a reason. The word ‘retirement’ can have different connotations. Remember Tom Brady?)

Time to Prepare

I’ve been saying it for years – Make time to consider how you will spend your days when you decide to no longer work full time. To help, examine your current priorities and needs. Ask yourself what you want NOW.

Then begin to explore new interests, exercise more, make new friends, enjoy closer family ties, and perhaps even volunteer to help others.

Rather than being called a
‘Quiet Quitter,'
call yourself a
‘QUIET PLANNER!’

Start Young

And to the groups that are years younger, I say find the balance between being a team player and being strangled by your job. These are exciting years for you to make a name for yourself and strive for those goals you set. If you are truly unhappy and see no future in what you are asked to do, go in and talk with your boss. If he/she has no solution, find another job!

Need some help and want to talk more? Let me know!

Loretta

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GUARD YOUR RETIREMENT - Avoid the Dark Side!

7/12/2022

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While traveling recently, I was introduced to someone from Brazil. When I told him I was a Life Coach with a specialty in Retirement, he was intrigued. The conversation went something like this:

He: Interesting. I recently watched a documentary about retirement in the U.S. If you don’t mind, I have a question.

Me: Sure, go ahead and ask.

He: Well, one thing really surprised me. Is it true when a person retires in the U.S., they are assigned a LEGAL GUARDIAN?

A Legal Guardian at Retirement? No!

Needless to say, I was surprised. Perhaps the film dealt with financial planning or offered other suggestions for protecting one’s assets during retirement. Somehow, he had come away with a very strange conclusion.

Note: Many people in the U.S. take legal steps to assign Power of Attorney to a family member or trusted friend as part of their Estate Planning. This gives that person the legal authority to care for the personal and property interests of someone who has become physically or mentally impaired.

A legal guardian is similar in nature, but the guardian is assigned through an extensive court proceeding rather than through the wishes of the individual. Obviously, neither is an automatic factor of retirement.

Guard Against the Dark Side

What I did not share with him - and what I really don’t like to linger on here because our focus in these pages is the power of positivity – is the fact that after retiring some people do experience the dark side of retirement. Simply put, the dark side of retirement has to do with feeling lost, useless, depressed, and simply without validation. Sitting in the house all day with little to do is very boring and lonely; the spiraling down can even lead to exploring the liquor cabinet.

For some, the lack of purpose that comes with retirement is very hard and finding the positive can be difficult and they can no longer handle their own affairs. If you or anyone you know is experiencing depression or having trouble shifting a negative mindset, I encourage reaching out to a good therapist or consulting with your primary care physician. There is help!

Focus on the Bright Side

Happily, what most people can look forward to is the bright side of retirement!

And, indeed, there is a bright side – time to do the things you really enjoy, opportunities for creative and exciting adventures, satisfaction of embracing the new and nurturing the tried and true. It involves PLANNING, and there are a few simple things you can do now to make YOUR future look bright.

Step One: PHYSICAL

Start now to build an exercise routine. This does not require a gym membership or a Lulu Lemon outfit. If you are new at it, start with 10 minutes and watch yourself build up to 30.

Step Two: MENTAL

Set your mind to being more positive every day. Make things happen. What are you are really good at and enjoy doing? Spend a little time starting up again. (Photography? Learning a language? Volunteer?)

Step Three: SOCIAL

Make sure your friends and social connections are not all associated with your work. You’ll have new friends thanks to step two! And…, get rid of negativity. If relationships are hard to break, try to interact less often.

Step Four: SPIRITUAL

This is not an edict for religion. Instead find time to bring significance to your daily routine. How can you contribute? How can you feel satisfied? Oh yes, and perform a random act of kindness every day.

That’s it. I’ve tried to make it short and sweet. Whether you are following these suggestions yourself or if you are a Power of Attorney or a Legal Guardian trying to help the person in your care, working through these four steps is bound to lead to positive and impactful benefits in the years ahead.

Loretta

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Podcast Episode 5: Get Creative in Retirement: Become a Published Photographer!

5/10/2022

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Episode 5 of Resources for a Modern Retirement focuses on getting creative in retirement and finding new passions.

How are you going to spend your newfound free time in retirement? Today’s podcast introduces you to Jerry Park, who I think you will find to be an absolute inspiration.

Jerry suggests:

Think about and plan for at least four areas of interest to pursue BEFORE you retire.
Don’t be alone. Go out and mix with people because there is always someone or something that will help you connect.
Allow yourself to be creative and most of all make sure you are having FUN!

WATCH PODCAST

About Our Episode Guest

Jerry Park
Jerry Park Photography
www.jerryparkphotography.com
jerryppark@comcast.net
615-969-6540

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Dear Tom, I TOLD YOU SO!

3/20/2022

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I don’t often talk like that. In fact, I find that I will go out of my way not to say it or even hint at it. But now since Tom Brady is back, I will state it in capital letters:

I Told You So!

Let me explain. If you will recall, in one of my recent blogs,

Retiring the Big R - Imagine the Possibilities!

I talked about trying to find a substitute for the word ‘Retirement.’ I do feel replacing (or enhancing) the word is important because the connotation is just dripping with...

"it’s over!
you’re a has been!
you are outa here! and
you have become a 'usta be!’ "

Tom Brady felt it, I’m sure. After all, when he decided to quit playing football, here is how he announced it: “I am not going to make that competitive commitment anymore.”

Rather fancy, huh? Kind of a dancing around the situation, right? He could not bring himself to say, “The Big R” word, so he just used some other pretty words instead. But the meaning was there: I am retiring and “imagining the possibilities.” … at least for a little while.

"Acting Before Thinking is Regret"

Here we are two months later, and I’m sure you heard the news:

Tom Brady said Sunday he is returning to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers for his 23rd season in the NFL. The seven-time Super Bowl champion announced his decision on Twitter and Instagram, saying he has unfinished business.

Uh, yeah. ‘Unfinished business.’ Ok, now maybe you will try to tell me he was made an offer he couldn’t refuse. Money? Really? Tom Brady would be swayed by the money? I doubt it.

Instead, he found himself in the position that I have warned you against - namely, regretting the decision soon after leaving work and then wasting time trying to figure it all out. It can be nice during that honeymoon phase of the first few months, having no schedule or responsibility. But it’s when you start longing for connection, searching for identity and finding your purpose that the questioning and doubting begin.

The Takeaway

Unless you are forced out, do not leave your work until you have some idea about how and with whom you will spend your time. It is so important to get involved in some interesting, satisfying, and challenging activities OUTSIDE OF WORK many years before you plan on reaching ‘The Big R.’ Which brings me to another of my blogs:

A Sense of Belonging..., It's a Basic Human Need!

Please go back and reread my two previous blogs through the links above. Be smart, and don’t be like Tom Brady. (Has anyone ever said that before?) Contact a Retirement Coach today (maybe me?) and imagine the possibilities! Enough said, except ...

I TOLD YOU SO!

Loretta
P.S. If anyone out there knows Tom, please send him my contact information. I’ll be glad to help him figure things out.

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A SENSE OF BELONGING - It's a Basic Human Need

3/2/2022

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I recently worked with an executive who was thinking about retirement. In one of our initial sessions, I asked him about his hobbies.

“HOBBIES? HOBBIES?
Loretta, do you really think I have time for HOBBIES?!” he ranted.

Rather than wait for him to work out why I was asking, I quickly changed the wording. “OK,” I said. “Let’s try it this way: What are you good at and enjoy doing such that you completely lose track of time?”

This made him pause. He knew he was good at a lot of things, but it had been so long since he had done many of them that he wasn’t sure he still could. He began to realize that he had been so steeped in his work and glued to his schedule that he rarely did what he liked to do. And…, if he took time for himself, he felt selfish!

Call them HOBBIES or PASSIONS or even INTERESTS, making time in your life for things you enjoy - whether you are 25 or 65 - is important.

It’s important for your emotional wellbeing; it’s important for your mental stimulation and…IT’S REALLY IMPORTANT FOR RETIREMENT.

Retirement can be lonely. Sure, you can find yourself newly retired and then decide to ‘do what I want to do when I want to do it!’ Your search may take a little longer and be a lot more difficult than if you had started years ago, but yes, you can begin after the Retirement Party.

If, on the other hand, you have already been involved in a few activities you enjoy before you retire, you have a head start on interacting with people who share your interests. Let me remind you, the feeling of belonging is one of our basic human needs. Yes, right up there with food and shelter.

When a person stops working, that sense of belonging, of being ‘included’ or identified as part of a team/company/title can slip away. Some people feel like outsiders in their own life. That’s why it is important – starting today - to make time for the things you really enjoy doing.

If you still need more convincing to get started now, here are three reasons that are backed by science:

1 - BETTER WORK PERFORMANCE

A study in the Journal of Occupational and Organizational Psychology finds marked differences between those who engage in hobbies and those who do not. This includes a better attitude at work and more creativity on projects.

2 - IMPROVED PHYSICAL AND MENTAL HEALTH

A study of enjoyable leisure activities measured by Pittsburgh Enjoyable Activities Test (PEAT) shows “Higher PEAT scores were associated with lower blood pressure, total cortisol, waist circumference, and body mass index, and perceptions of better physical function.

3 - REDUCED STRESS

A study by Matthew Zawadzki, a health psychologist at the University of California, shows that leisure activity can provide immediate stress relief, which has been shown to have both health and psychological benefits, like improved focus, happiness and a longer life.

…and who wouldn’t be impressed by those reasons!

So, get started. Explore how to get involved in activities you’ve put aside or always wanted to learn more about. You will make new friends (outside of work), enjoy sharing an interest, and have fun being around others who like to do what you do. And Happy Retirement, whenever that is!

-Loretta
P.S. In case you missed it, recently the Mars Wrigley Corporation (owner of M&Ms) made some changes you can read about here. They decided their multicolored mascots were not reaching all of society in their ads. A change was necessary “to create a world where everyone feels they belong."

Photo from Today.com

Start planning for retirement NOW to avoid finding yourself spending your days at home in front of the TV - with a bowl of M&Ms!

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Retiring the Big-R - Imagine the Possibilities!

2/3/2022

3 Comments

I had to smile this morning when I heard the TV anchor say, “Tom Brady is Retiring!!” OMG! Of course, the anchor wanted to interview several people about this breaking news. Then, when he sent the camera over to get more from an interview with a popular sportscaster, one of the first things the sportscaster said was,
“Tom Brady did not use the word ‘retirement’ in his press release!”
Here it is:

"I have always believed the sport of football is an 'all-in' proposition - if a 100% competitive commitment isn't there, you won't succeed, and success is what I love so much about our game," Brady wrote. "There is a physical, mental, and emotional challenge EVERY single day that has allowed me to maximize my highest potential. And I have tried my very best these past 22 years.

There are no shortcuts to success on the field or in life. This is difficult for me to write, but here it goes: I am not going to make that competitive commitment anymore. I have loved my NFL career, and now it is time to focus my time and energy on other things that require my attention.
I've done a lot of reflecting the past week and have asked myself difficult questions. And I am so proud of what we have achieved. My teammates, coaches, fellow competitors, and fans deserve 100% of me, but right now, it's best I leave the field of play to the next generation of dedicated and committed athletes."

"Tom Brady is … what? "

Tom Brady refused to use that R-word because of its connotation which made me think of a blog I shared last year about a conversation I had with my friend Emily. I think he could have followed my suggestion about the Big-R and simply winked and said, "IMAGINE THE POSSIBILITIES!"
~~

My friend Emily and I were out walking last week. Suddenly she stopped short and said, “Did you hear that Bob did The Big-R?” I was puzzled. “The Big-R?”

“That which cannot be named,” she uttered in her best Harry Potter-esque voice. I smiled and leaned in closer and whispered, “Are you talking about ‘Retirement’?”

“Shhh!” she hissed. “Seriously, don’t use that word anymore. It conveys the wrong message!”

“What in the world do you mean?” I asked. She sighed, and I felt like she was searching for a way to say something nicely. “You, of all people, should know.”

“Look,” I said, “I know there is a lot of misinterpretation about the word ‘Retirement,’ but really, … comparing it to *Voldemort?”

Emily shook her head. “Misinterpretation? People hear the Big-R word and think the person is over the hill, incapable of anything new and fresh…, and, basically, A HAS BEEN!”

My mouth dropped open. “Ok, here’s proof!” she said as she pulled out her phone and pointed to a webpage. “Just look at the definition from the fancy Oxford English Language Dictionary!”

*Retirement (Noun)
1. giving up work, stopping work
2. seclusion, retreat, solitude, loneliness,
isolation, privacy, obscurity

I could hardly believe what I was reading

I looked in amazement as she continued. “I have no problem with definition #1 but check out #2! And, by the way, I’ve been thinking maybe you should stick with being called a ‘Life Coach.’ If this is how people are viewing The Big-R, listing yourself first as a Retirement Coach could put people off!”

Just like a Life Coach, a Retirement Coach helps people deal with life’s transitions.

“Oh, Em,” I said shaking my head. “Just like a Life Coach, a Retirement Coach helps people deal with life’s transitions. It’s like the change from being single and then getting married or going from being a couple to having kids. ‘The Big-R’ requires thinking about and planning for the next 20 to 30 years! A person will have more time and more choices for not just how to fill the day but also for how to feel fulfilled at the end of the day. Planning is how to avoid definition #2!” We decided to order coffee and sat down outside.

“If it was my dictionary,” I continued, “Definition #2 would be something like,

Retirement (Noun)
"The opportunity and time to energize lifestyle,
renew interests, and create new adventures.”

As Emily thought about it, I decided to have some fun and sound less like a coach. “Take Clark Kent, for example. He knew he was meant to use his superpowers to seek truth and justice, but he couldn’t just transition from Smallville to Metropolis without a plan to protect his identity! He got a job as a reporter at the Daily Planet and located a nearby phone booth.” She started laughing and almost choked on her coffee. But she was listening.

“Since he’d already mapped out his plan, when he was needed he rushed to the phone booth, took off his shirt and glasses, and he became SUPERMAN!!” She was wondering if I was serious, so I continued,

“Here’s another example - suppose you decide to get fit and enter a half marathon. You wouldn’t just get up that morning, put on a good pair of running shoes and join the race - hoping to get to the finish line, right?! You’d map out a training program to make sure you were prepared to succeed.”

She wiped some coffee from her chin and laughed out loud. “Ok, but what about other people’s reactions? I just saw Susan, and she was complaining that her neighbors think since she is around all the time, she can watch for their deliveries!” She paused, “And her kids think she is a full-time babysitter; they assume she’s always available.”

Today, more than 50% of retirees are working
part-time and others are volunteering or
busy learning something new.

I smiled and shook my head. “Stop worrying about other people! The fact is that it’s smart to approach retirement with a plan and an attitude of adventure and creativity.

Today, more than 50% of retirees are working part-time and others are volunteering or busy learning something new. It does not have to be solitude and loneliness!

“So,” Emily said. “What now? It’s obvious we need to do something about that word!” I smiled. “Well, you’re right and people have made lots of suggestions. But the Big-R word has been around a long time. Instead, I say we keep the word ‘Retirement’ and just add a tag line:

So YOU GO, TOM BRADY! And when interviewed next time, just smile and say
"Imagine the Possibilities!"

Loretta

*Voldemort, also known as 'The Dark Lord' in the Harry Potter series, was so evil that even his name was not to be spoken.
*Oxford Languages is the world’s leading dictionary publisher, with over 150 years of experience creating and delivering authoritative dictionaries globally in more than 50 languages.

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Quiet Quitters Revealed!

Ok, I guess it’s not so quiet anymore.

​ONE WAY to look at this craze is:

ANOTHER WAY to look at it is:

So, for those workers over 50 who are feeling less engaged on the job:

Time to Prepare

Rather than being called a‘​Quiet Quitter,' call yourself a‘QUIET PLANNER!’

Start Young

GUARD YOUR RETIREMENT - Avoid the Dark Side!

A Legal Guardian at Retirement? No!

Guard Against the Dark Side

Focus on the Bright Side

Happily, what most people can look forward to is the bright side of retirement!

Step One: PHYSICAL

Step Two: MENTAL

Step Three: SOCIAL

Step Four: SPIRITUAL

Podcast Episode 5: Get Creative in Retirement: Become a Published Photographer!

Episode 5 of Resources for a Modern Retirement focuses on getting creative in retirement and finding new passions.

About Our Episode Guest

Dear Tom, I TOLD YOU SO!

I Told You So!

"Acting Before Thinking is Regret"

The Takeaway

A SENSE OF BELONGING - It's a Basic Human Need

“HOBBIES? HOBBIES?​Loretta, do you really think I have time for HOBBIES?!” he ranted.

Call them HOBBIES or PASSIONS or even INTERESTS, making time in your life for things you enjoy - whether you are 25 or 65 - is important.

If you still need more convincing to get started now, here are three reasons that are backed by science:

1 - BETTER WORK PERFORMANCE

2 - IMPROVED PHYSICAL AND MENTAL HEALTH

3 - REDUCED STRESS

…and who wouldn’t be impressed by those reasons!

Start planning for retirement NOW to avoid finding yourself spending your days at home in front of the TV - with a bowl of M&Ms!

Retiring the Big-R - Imagine the Possibilities!

"Tom Brady is … ​what? "

Just like a Life Coach, a Retirement Coach helps people deal with life’s transitions.

Today, more than 50% of retirees are working​part-time and others are volunteering orbusy learning something new.

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ONE WAY to look at this craze is:

Rather than being called a
‘Quiet Quitter,'
call yourself a
‘QUIET PLANNER!’

“HOBBIES? HOBBIES?
Loretta, do you really think I have time for HOBBIES?!” he ranted.

"Tom Brady is … what? "

Today, more than 50% of retirees are working
part-time and others are volunteering or
busy learning something new.