1. GUESS WHAT Number ... "Retirement" is on the list of 'Life's 43 most stressful life events'.It’s #10! And that’s why I say we need to talk about your plans. Some people might find the transition easy, but many retirees are truly stressed at the challenge of creating a new identity and purpose. 2. GUESS WHAT … it might mean if your work defines “who you are” rather than “what you do.”It will make leaving your workplace more difficult. Think about how you will introduce yourself when you retire, and please don’t say ‘I used to be!’ Thinking about who you are NOW and what you want NOW will help you create the things you will be retiring TO. 3. GUESS WHAT … will happen if your social connections are mostly related to your workplace.It will probably be a lot harder to replace those connections. Finding new friends and interests before you leave your job will create a ready community of people you like to spend time with when you do retire. By the way, a Harvard Grant Study has shown that having a strong social connection in retirement not only helps people outlive those who don’t but also aids in delaying the onset of Alzheimer’s and dementia. 4. GUESS WHAT … sitting at a desk most of the day can cause.Complicated physical issues that can interfere with your retirement plans. Get up and get moving! Those grandkids want to play hide and seek. Your condo wants you to be on the pickleball team, and the dog just brought you his leash asking for a long walk. You don’t want to miss out on any of that – do you? 5. GUESS WHAT … believing that “the best is yet to come” can encourage.Fresh ideas and possibilities! Having a positive mental outlook is not just being a cockeyed optimist. It helps you deal with change as well as giving you more energy for new opportunities and accomplishments. It also makes you more resilient so you can more easily handle the other ‘stuff’ that comes your way. 6. GUESS WHAT happens … when volunteering is what you want to do in retirement, but you don’t spend any time looking into it beforehand.You will probably waste time searching for appropriate opportunities and get stuck in roles you don’t like. Start early thinking about organizations you want to help and make some inquiries. Think about what you would like to do for an organization, so you don’t get stuck making phone calls or stuffing envelopes (unless, of course, you like that!). AND BY THE WAY… one more7. GUESS WHAT happens … when you WRITE DOWN goals you want to achieve.Whether it’s a trip to Machu Picchu or creating an online creative cooking club, you will be more likely to achieve your goal if it is WRITTEN DOWN. (You’ve probably already done it on the financial side. Now do the same for all those non-financial issues!) Research has shown that when goals are written down, it reminds us of what they are and what we need to do to achieve them. Just make sure you put the list in a place where you can easily find it. No more guessing. Having a little extra information makes you smarter. Now you have it, so get started! Loretta ~Also seen in the monthly Let's Talk Retirement! column in the Jewish Observer~
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Last week my phone rang showing a number I did not recognize. I answered it anyway because you know, sometimes you just do. The conversation went something like this: Me: Hello? A Voice said: Hello! A couple of years ago you helped my friend The Elf on the Shelf spread his message on social media, so I’m calling hoping you can give ME a little help. Me: Uh, who is this? Voice: I’m Moshe, THE MENSCH ON A BENCH. Like Elf, I try to remind Jewish people - actually all people - to be thoughtful, kind, and considerate. The Mensch: I’m hoping you will come with me to this year’s Chanukah Board Meeting! In case you don’t know, it’s when THE JEWISH BIG FOUR meet to find ways to make sure Chanukah will be meaningful, joyous, and fun. They are always trying hard to be heard above the jingle bells and songs about Rudolph! (I was intrigued – How does he know Elf? Who are the BIG FOUR? And back then did I actually agree to help spread the word?) Me: Go on. Mr. M: This is my first year, and I have a really good suggestion. Come with me and you can put it in your blog about the importance of being a Mensch! And that’s how I ended up at |
Eric J. Weigel Founder Retire with Possibilities https://www.retirewithpossibilities.com/ [email protected] BUY THE BOOK: Reimaging Retirement - 9 Keys to True Wealth |
Normally, I don’t share information about clients, but in order to help you understand that we need to reach out and help each other, I have obtained releases from anyone involved in this note.
Last week I held a group session with five attendees. Each had their own issues, and each was truly concerned. I’m sure you will recognize them:
Cornelia, the Candy Corn
Casper, the Friendly Ghost
Terry, the Tarantula
Peter, the Pumpkin
I asked each in turn “What is going on?” and here are their answers:
SLAM! There I was, face flat into the tree
I gave her a questioning look.
“I was on my broom and one of my earbuds fell out. I had to look down to retrieve it - and SLAM! There I was, face flat into the tree. I heard people laughing! Why didn’t my radar warn me about the tree? Am I getting too old? Should I retire?”
“Look, as early as the 1880s I became popular. My three colorful layers are attractive, and I’m small and easy to eat.”
She teared up.
Ok, Ok, I guess I should just retire - right?
She started to sob.
“I’m fat free and keep in the refrigerator for up to 9 months, but nobody really wants me now... Ok, Ok, I guess I should just retire – right?”
Casper: "Yeah, it’s not rocket science. You all know me – you know me by my full name, ‘Casper the Friendly Ghost.'"
He started to smile a little, and then the smile faded.
“That’s right; I’m a non-conformist. I’d rather make friends than scare people. I know I’m different from the rest of the haunt team, but it is who I am. I like people; I’ve made friends before. I don’t like scaring them.”
Wanda started to snicker.
“Whoever heard of a friendly ghost?” she muttered. I had to shhh! her.
“And now there is COVID-19,” Casper continued. “People can’t even be with their regular friends, so you can bet no one wants to talk to a friendly ghost! What should I do? I have a lot of years ahead of me!”
Then it was Terry’s turn.
Terry: “Ha – you think you guys have issues? You think you don’t know what to do ‘next’? When I was a little tiny tarantula, my Mama told me I was cute. Then I left the nest, and it all ended.”
He looked around, daring people to challenge him.
He looked around, daring people to challenge him.
Everyone got quiet.
“I know, I crawl; I have long hairy legs, and I have eight eyes. But I’m harmless to people! If I bite, it’s no worse than a bee sting – okay? Look it up! So, what’s a young guy like me to do with a reputation like that?”
Wanda started muttering again. “Maybe you remind people of the COVID virus,” she whispered.
I talked over her. “Ok, Peter, it’s your turn.”
"Let's face it, the pumpkin is the
symbol for both Fall and Halloween"
“I know, I’ve been pretty lucky over the years - always the one up front – inside and outside – enjoying the popularity and fun.
His voice softened.
“But then, enter plastic and inflatables. Enter strange colors and shapes. How can I keep up with those inexpensive, use year-to-year decorations? Even on the flavor side – so many cheaper, easy-to-use imitations! In chips/pancake mix/coffee – even donuts!
People are pumpkin crazy, but they are not using the real thing!”
He looked up at me and sighed.
“And now COVID-19. There used to be pumpkin carving parties. Now no one is gathering groups together to sit close and carve. I may be able to hold out for a few more years, but I need a plan, a new direction. Should I retire?”
I let the air settle for a few minutes. Group sessions are not easy. A person (or a pumpkin) can listen and feel their issue is not so bad, or the participant can take on everyone’s problems and go away feeling worse.
I decided there was only one answer and it applied to the whole group.
“The answer for all of you is the same:
1. Decide what you really want.
2. Think of ways to reidentify yourself.
3. Find a new path to reach your goal. "
Ask yourself important questions like:
Cornelia – In what other ways can the world use candy corn?
Casper & Terry – Especially during this time of COVID-19, it’s best you stay under the radar. What if you two got together and taught a class about ghosts and spiders on Zoom?
Peter – With a legacy like yours, why not share your life story with the rest of the world? Who do you know that can help with the writing?
A person (or a pumpkin) can listen and feel their issue is not so bad, or the participant can take on everyone’s problems and go away feeling worse.
Before I left the room, I looked around and smiled. “Of course, If you want to talk more about planning for the days and years ahead, give me a call!”
As the door shut, I heard Casper shout:
“That was amazing! Ok, everybody, MASKS ON – Let’s have a Group Hug!”
Ok, I guess it’s not so quiet anymore.
ONE WAY to look at this craze is:
- They say they are burned out and being strangled by their job, always ‘on’ and forever at work.
- They say they weren’t hired to stay late after work hours, organize zoom calls during lunch, or answer work calls on the weekend.
ANOTHER WAY to look at it is:
- Workers are hired to join a company’s ‘team,’ and expectations include extra effort for a deadline, a challenge, or a brainstorming session.
- Companies don’t appreciate minimal effort. Why pay more for less?
So, for those workers over 50 who are feeling less engaged on the job:
- Make the MOST of quiet quitting
Quiet quitting gives you time to prepare for the after-work years! (BTW, I say ‘after- work years’ for a reason. The word ‘retirement’ can have different connotations. Remember Tom Brady?)
Time to Prepare
Then begin to explore new interests, exercise more, make new friends, enjoy closer family ties, and perhaps even volunteer to help others.
Rather than being called a
‘Quiet Quitter,'
call yourself a
‘QUIET PLANNER!’
Start Young
Loretta
Me: Sure, go ahead and ask.
He: Well, one thing really surprised me. Is it true when a person retires in the U.S., they are assigned a LEGAL GUARDIAN?
A Legal Guardian at Retirement? No!
Note: Many people in the U.S. take legal steps to assign Power of Attorney to a family member or trusted friend as part of their Estate Planning. This gives that person the legal authority to care for the personal and property interests of someone who has become physically or mentally impaired.
Guard Against the Dark Side
Focus on the Bright Side
Happily, what most people can look forward to is the bright side of retirement!
Step One: PHYSICAL
Step Two: MENTAL
Step Three: SOCIAL
Step Four: SPIRITUAL
Loretta
Episode 5 of Resources for a Modern Retirement focuses on getting creative in retirement and finding new passions.
Jerry suggests:
- Think about and plan for at least four areas of interest to pursue BEFORE you retire.
- Don’t be alone. Go out and mix with people because there is always someone or something that will help you connect.
- Allow yourself to be creative and most of all make sure you are having FUN!
About Our Episode Guest
I Told You So!
you’re a has been!
you are outa here! and
you have become a 'usta be!’ "
"Acting Before Thinking is Regret"
Tom Brady said Sunday he is returning to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers for his 23rd season in the NFL. The seven-time Super Bowl champion announced his decision on Twitter and Instagram, saying he has unfinished business.
The Takeaway
P.S. If anyone out there knows Tom, please send him my contact information. I’ll be glad to help him figure things out.
“HOBBIES? HOBBIES?
Loretta, do you really think I have time for HOBBIES?!” he ranted.
Call them HOBBIES or PASSIONS or even INTERESTS, making time in your life for things you enjoy - whether you are 25 or 65 - is important.
If you still need more convincing to get started now, here are three reasons that are backed by science:
1 - BETTER WORK PERFORMANCE
2 - IMPROVED PHYSICAL AND MENTAL HEALTH
3 - REDUCED STRESS
…and who wouldn’t be impressed by those reasons!
P.S. In case you missed it, recently the Mars Wrigley Corporation (owner of M&Ms) made some changes you can read about here. They decided their multicolored mascots were not reaching all of society in their ads. A change was necessary “to create a world where everyone feels they belong."
Start planning for retirement NOW to avoid finding yourself spending your days at home in front of the TV - with a bowl of M&Ms!
Author
Loretta Saff, M.A., CPC, CPRC
As an active writer, both nationally and internationally, Loretta Saff's humor columns, blog, and lifestyle articles reflect an insight in dealing with situations that helps people get to their core issues and encourage confidence, trust and support.
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