 Episode 7 of Resources for a Modern Retirement is about the importance of physical fitness in retirement, of course, and at all times in life.Join us as Mary Cady Bolin gives insight into her classes (at the Y) and how all levels of fitness are welcome. She shares how people should try out an instructor two or three times before making a decision to accept or join the class. Needless to say, the purpose of this episode is to encourage regular physical activity to support physical and emotional health, a key component in any retirement plan! About our Episode Guest
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 I did a 30-day Make Happy a Habit challenge back in 2016 and 2021 and now I get the chance to share it with the viewers of WKRN's Local on 2 with Larissa and Laura. It's hard to make it a priority with the busy lives we live but five simple daily activities can help you establish happy habits. Self-care can start to be something that you prioritize in your life. And now, more than ever, self-care and finding your way to happiness is important for your health and well-being and for those around you. There is real science behind the emotions of happiness and love. Dr. Barbara Frederickson, Psychologist and Neuroscience Professor at UNC, Chapel Hill said, “The ways that we feel happiness and well-being are actually showing up in the cells of our immune system and supporting our health.” The Make Happy a Habit challenge is one of my favorites. I did it in 2016 and 2021 and shared every step along the way. If you joined me in the past, I hope you found some inspiration from my journey for your own. If you're starting the journey now, be sure to tell me when you start feeling like HAPPY is becoming a habit. I'll be posting my interview soon on my social networks below. Stay tuned! Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/makehappyahabit/ Loretta
 1. GUESS WHAT Number ... "Retirement" is on the list of 'Life's 43 most stressful life events'.It’s #10! And that’s why I say we need to talk about your plans. Some people might find the transition easy, but many retirees are truly stressed at the challenge of creating a new identity and purpose. 2. GUESS WHAT … it might mean if your work defines “who you are” rather than “what you do.”It will make leaving your workplace more difficult. Think about how you will introduce yourself when you retire, and please don’t say ‘I used to be!’ Thinking about who you are NOW and what you want NOW will help you create the things you will be retiring TO. 3. GUESS WHAT … will happen if your social connections are mostly related to your workplace.It will probably be a lot harder to replace those connections. Finding new friends and interests before you leave your job will create a ready community of people you like to spend time with when you do retire. By the way, a Harvard Grant Study has shown that having a strong social connection in retirement not only helps people outlive those who don’t but also aids in delaying the onset of Alzheimer’s and dementia. 4. GUESS WHAT … sitting at a desk most of the day can cause.Complicated physical issues that can interfere with your retirement plans. Get up and get moving! Those grandkids want to play hide and seek. Your condo wants you to be on the pickleball team, and the dog just brought you his leash asking for a long walk. You don’t want to miss out on any of that – do you? 5. GUESS WHAT … believing that “the best is yet to come” can encourage.Fresh ideas and possibilities! Having a positive mental outlook is not just being a cockeyed optimist. It helps you deal with change as well as giving you more energy for new opportunities and accomplishments. It also makes you more resilient so you can more easily handle the other ‘stuff’ that comes your way. 6. GUESS WHAT happens … when volunteering is what you want to do in retirement, but you don’t spend any time looking into it beforehand.You will probably waste time searching for appropriate opportunities and get stuck in roles you don’t like. Start early thinking about organizations you want to help and make some inquiries. Think about what you would like to do for an organization, so you don’t get stuck making phone calls or stuffing envelopes (unless, of course, you like that!). AND BY THE WAY… one more 7. GUESS WHAT happens … when you WRITE DOWN goals you want to achieve.Whether it’s a trip to Machu Picchu or creating an online creative cooking club, you will be more likely to achieve your goal if it is WRITTEN DOWN. (You’ve probably already done it on the financial side. Now do the same for all those non-financial issues!) Research has shown that when goals are written down, it reminds us of what they are and what we need to do to achieve them. Just make sure you put the list in a place where you can easily find it. No more guessing. Having a little extra information makes you smarter. Now you have it, so get started! Loretta ~Also seen in the monthly Let's Talk Retirement! column in the Jewish Observer~
 Last week my phone rang showing a number I did not recognize. I answered it anyway because you know, sometimes you just do. The conversation went something like this:  Me: Hello? A Voice said: Hello! A couple of years ago you helped my friend The Elf on the Shelf spread his message on social media, so I’m calling hoping you can give ME a little help. Me: Uh, who is this? Voice: I’m Moshe, THE MENSCH ON A BENCH. Like Elf, I try to remind Jewish people - actually all people - to be thoughtful, kind, and considerate.  The Mensch: I’m hoping you will come with me to this year’s Chanukah Board Meeting! In case you don’t know, it’s when THE JEWISH BIG FOUR meet to find ways to make sure Chanukah will be meaningful, joyous, and fun. They are always trying hard to be heard above the jingle bells and songs about Rudolph! (I was intrigued – How does he know Elf? Who are the BIG FOUR? And back then did I actually agree to help spread the word?) Me: Go on. Mr. M: This is my first year, and I have a really good suggestion. Come with me and you can put it in your blog about the importance of being a Mensch!  And that’s how I ended up at |
I’m Sharon Shamis, the lead candle, The Head of the Festival of Light |
|
She looked to her left and nodded to the blue guy:
Hello - I’m David Dreidel, the playful one, he said. |
|
He was twisting and turning and suddenly, he dropped. Then he looked up and smiled. Ha! he laughed; I just landed on GIMMEL!
Sharon nodded to the next member:
Sharon nodded to the next member:
How do you do … board members and guests, Because I have nine branches for the Chanukah candles, my real name is Hannah Hanukieh. Then she smiled shyly, and added, but I also answer to the name ‘Menorah! |
|
Then Sharon motioned to the last one …,
Hi! I’m Leo Latke - Sometimes known as “Leo ‘the grate’!” Get it? – Grate - as in potato! Everybody likes me - whether with apple sauce or sour cream! And no worries, I’ll bring the refreshments next time! |
|
Sharon opened the meeting by reviewing the last year’s discussion regarding the proper spelling of the word ‘Chanukah’- whether with a C or an H and if there are double k’s. She announced it was decided that it makes no difference how you spell the name of the holiday as long as it brings people together to celebrate!
Then she continued: “Today’s topic, presented by The Mensch on a Bench,” is
Then she continued: “Today’s topic, presented by The Mensch on a Bench,” is
“Why should Jewish kids
get a present every night of Chanukah?”
And so, Moshe began:
Thank you for this opportunity. We all know non-Jewish kids get lots of gifts this time of year. So, it’s only natural that Jewish families are thinking: ‘Let’s keep our kids happy – we’ve got eight nights, give them eight gifts!’
Even though the group looked at him suspiciously, he continued:
I think that Hanukah presents should be a HOLIDAY REWARD FOR GOOD BEHAVIOR, and I’ll tell you why. Lately, instead of sitting in houses, this Mensch on a Bench ventured out. That’s how I’ve realized people just aren’t behaving.
- I sat on a BENCH in the park. There big kids were pushing little ones out of their way on the slide. The adults just stood around talking.
- On the BENCH at the bus stop, parents who came to pick up their kids shouted at the bus driver because he didn’t always stop close enough to the curb.
- And from the BENCH at the baseball game…? Oy! Parents and coaches kept yelling at each other. The kids started yelling, too
He paused and smiled at me:
So, here’s what I propose:
EVERY night, after the Hanukah candles are lit, parents say:
Now that the candles are shining bright,
let’s each have a turn telling of a time when he or she
was considerate and did something nice for others.’
“ACT LIKE A MENSCH – you get a gift!”
EVERY night, after the Hanukah candles are lit, parents say:
Now that the candles are shining bright,
let’s each have a turn telling of a time when he or she
was considerate and did something nice for others.’
“ACT LIKE A MENSCH – you get a gift!”
Then he sat down.
At first everyone was quiet. Then David Driedel started spinning. That was amazing, he said. I completely agree with The Mensch. Even Hannah was impressed. So sensible! she said. Thank YOU, Moshe
| A vote was called. All agreed to include the suggestion on the candle boxes next year! Sharon Shamis banged the gavel to end the gathering. I was glad I had come. It was an honor to meet the BIG FOUR, and so I’m happily spreading Moshe’s message: |  |
BE A MENSCH –
teach it, live it, insist on it –
especially at Chanukah
| I do have to admit one thing, though… I was a little disappointed Leo didn’t get to serve latkes – Apple Sauce, please. |  |
HAPPY CHANUKAH!
Loretta
*Mensch: (Yiddish) a person of integrity and dignity, with a sense of what is right and responsible.
*Mensch: (Yiddish) a person of integrity and dignity, with a sense of what is right and responsible.
You’re surrounded by it. All the stores are full of Holiday Cheer, and Sirius Radio has had a “Holiday Songs” station since just after Halloween. Now, they are almost here – THE HOLIDAYS.
#holidays #lifestrategies #positivity
#holidays #lifestrategies #positivity
Start Now and Be "Positively Fabulous!
While to some this may mean hugs and giggles, to others it can shout “Stress Alert! Stress Alert!”Whatever the message coming your way, a little MENTAL PREPARATION will help you be ready to enjoy and greet your family and friends with enthusiasm.
Here are three simple and helpful hints to make the season “Positively Fabulous!,” one of happy memories and family togetherness.
Here are three simple and helpful hints to make the season “Positively Fabulous!,” one of happy memories and family togetherness.
1. Remember that you are in Charge of Your Thoughts.
Yep, that’s YOU – with a choice. Listen to yourself and analyze your thoughts. If you’ve just come back from a trip, what is the first thing you talk about – the bad weather or the wonderful food? The annoying airports or the beautiful scenery? Just the order in which you mention things tells you something about yourself.
Try to rethink what you talk about. Spend more time on the good times you had; talk about something that made you laugh. In fact, try not mentioning the ‘annoying’ things that happened. I bet you’ll forget about them!
Try to rethink what you talk about. Spend more time on the good times you had; talk about something that made you laugh. In fact, try not mentioning the ‘annoying’ things that happened. I bet you’ll forget about them!
2. Surround Yourself with Positive People
Now, if you find yourself stuck out on the porch with Aunt Sally, who is telling you how her arthritis stops her from having fun, try getting her to tell you something positive. Ask her about her dog. Explore what books she likes to read. Get her to talk about wonderful Thanksgivings she remembers over the years. If Aunt Sally is too negative, go get her a mimosa, drop it off, and excuse yourself to the bathroom!
3. Be Nice to Yourself
Do the things you like to do. Enjoy a massage? Want time to read? Love playing with the kids? Make time to do it. Make a holiday schedule that includes things that YOU like to do. When you are happy and relaxed, it will make you much more fun to be around and tolerant of others.
I’ve stopped at three so you can now go and practice. Make time to do it and write and tell me how it all went!
Remember: "'Tis the season to be jolly!"
Happy Holidays!!
Happy Holidays!!
~Loretta
Episode 6 of Resources for a Modern Retirement breaks down the 9 keys to true wealth and planning for your future self.
Where do you want to be in ten years? In today's podcast, join Eric J. Weigel and me, as we navigate how to plan for your future self. Retirement is about more than just money, as Eric identifies in his book, Reimaging Retirement - 9 Keys to True Wealth.
Learn about the 9 keys to true wealth and focusing on all areas of your life that are important to you!
Learn about the 9 keys to true wealth and focusing on all areas of your life that are important to you!
About Our Episode Guest
 | Eric J. Weigel Founder Retire with Possibilities https://www.retirewithpossibilities.com/ [email protected] BUY THE BOOK: Reimaging Retirement - 9 Keys to True Wealth |
Well, I knew it was bound to happen. The combined stress caused by the perfect storm of Halloween and COVID -19 together has brought a lot of requests for my services as a Life/Retirement/Transition Coach. This time, I immediately thought the answer was group coaching.
Normally, I don’t share information about clients, but in order to help you understand that we need to reach out and help each other, I have obtained releases from anyone involved in this note.
Last week I held a group session with five attendees. Each had their own issues, and each was truly concerned. I’m sure you will recognize them:
Normally, I don’t share information about clients, but in order to help you understand that we need to reach out and help each other, I have obtained releases from anyone involved in this note.
Last week I held a group session with five attendees. Each had their own issues, and each was truly concerned. I’m sure you will recognize them:
Wanda, the Witch
Cornelia, the Candy Corn
Casper, the Friendly Ghost
Terry, the Tarantula
Peter, the Pumpkin
Cornelia, the Candy Corn
Casper, the Friendly Ghost
Terry, the Tarantula
Peter, the Pumpkin
I asked each in turn “What is going on?” and here are their answers:
 | Wanda: “It’s becoming more and more common. You’ve seen it, and you’ve probably even laughed at it. Well, last week it happened to me.” |
SLAM! There I was, face flat into the tree
I gave her a questioning look.
“I was on my broom and one of my earbuds fell out. I had to look down to retrieve it - and SLAM! There I was, face flat into the tree. I heard people laughing! Why didn’t my radar warn me about the tree? Am I getting too old? Should I retire?”
Cornelia: She spoke softly and made eye contact with each member of the group.
“Look, as early as the 1880s I became popular. My three colorful layers are attractive, and I’m small and easy to eat.”
She teared up.
“Look, as early as the 1880s I became popular. My three colorful layers are attractive, and I’m small and easy to eat.”
She teared up.
Ok, Ok, I guess I should just retire - right?
“At least I WAS easy to eat. I’m the most fun to eat by the handful! And, I mean, really, with COVID-19 people don’t want to eat anything by the handful!”
She started to sob.
“I’m fat free and keep in the refrigerator for up to 9 months, but nobody really wants me now... Ok, Ok, I guess I should just retire – right?”
She started to sob.
“I’m fat free and keep in the refrigerator for up to 9 months, but nobody really wants me now... Ok, Ok, I guess I should just retire – right?”
Casper was next.
Casper: "Yeah, it’s not rocket science. You all know me – you know me by my full name, ‘Casper the Friendly Ghost.'"
He started to smile a little, and then the smile faded.
Casper: "Yeah, it’s not rocket science. You all know me – you know me by my full name, ‘Casper the Friendly Ghost.'"
He started to smile a little, and then the smile faded.
“That’s right; I’m a non-conformist. I’d rather make friends than scare people. I know I’m different from the rest of the haunt team, but it is who I am. I like people; I’ve made friends before. I don’t like scaring them.”
Wanda started to snicker.
“Whoever heard of a friendly ghost?” she muttered. I had to shhh! her.
“And now there is COVID-19,” Casper continued. “People can’t even be with their regular friends, so you can bet no one wants to talk to a friendly ghost! What should I do? I have a lot of years ahead of me!”
Then it was Terry’s turn.
Terry: “Ha – you think you guys have issues? You think you don’t know what to do ‘next’? When I was a little tiny tarantula, my Mama told me I was cute. Then I left the nest, and it all ended.”
He looked around, daring people to challenge him.
He looked around, daring people to challenge him.
“I remember the first time I became aware of Halloween! Look around, guys! Do you notice how many phony spiders people put out – on the lawn/on the bushes/crawling up the front of the house! THEY ARE ALL TARANTULAS! What do you think this does to my self-image?”
Everyone got quiet.
“I know, I crawl; I have long hairy legs, and I have eight eyes. But I’m harmless to people! If I bite, it’s no worse than a bee sting – okay? Look it up! So, what’s a young guy like me to do with a reputation like that?”
Wanda started muttering again. “Maybe you remind people of the COVID virus,” she whispered.
I talked over her. “Ok, Peter, it’s your turn.”
Everyone got quiet.
“I know, I crawl; I have long hairy legs, and I have eight eyes. But I’m harmless to people! If I bite, it’s no worse than a bee sting – okay? Look it up! So, what’s a young guy like me to do with a reputation like that?”
Wanda started muttering again. “Maybe you remind people of the COVID virus,” she whispered.
I talked over her. “Ok, Peter, it’s your turn.”
"Let's face it, the pumpkin is the
symbol for both Fall and Halloween"
Peter: “Well, in comparison, maybe my problem is not so bad. I mean, let’s face it, the pumpkin is the symbol for both Fall and Halloween."
“I know, I’ve been pretty lucky over the years - always the one up front – inside and outside – enjoying the popularity and fun.
His voice softened.
“But then, enter plastic and inflatables. Enter strange colors and shapes. How can I keep up with those inexpensive, use year-to-year decorations? Even on the flavor side – so many cheaper, easy-to-use imitations! In chips/pancake mix/coffee – even donuts!
People are pumpkin crazy, but they are not using the real thing!”
He looked up at me and sighed.
“And now COVID-19. There used to be pumpkin carving parties. Now no one is gathering groups together to sit close and carve. I may be able to hold out for a few more years, but I need a plan, a new direction. Should I retire?”
I let the air settle for a few minutes. Group sessions are not easy. A person (or a pumpkin) can listen and feel their issue is not so bad, or the participant can take on everyone’s problems and go away feeling worse.
I decided there was only one answer and it applied to the whole group.
“I think,” (I said carefully)
“The answer for all of you is the same:
1. Decide what you really want.
2. Think of ways to reidentify yourself.
3. Find a new path to reach your goal. "
“The answer for all of you is the same:
1. Decide what you really want.
2. Think of ways to reidentify yourself.
3. Find a new path to reach your goal. "
Ask yourself important questions like:
Wanda – How much of who you are is your broom?
Cornelia – In what other ways can the world use candy corn?
Casper & Terry – Especially during this time of COVID-19, it’s best you stay under the radar. What if you two got together and taught a class about ghosts and spiders on Zoom?
Peter – With a legacy like yours, why not share your life story with the rest of the world? Who do you know that can help with the writing?
Cornelia – In what other ways can the world use candy corn?
Casper & Terry – Especially during this time of COVID-19, it’s best you stay under the radar. What if you two got together and taught a class about ghosts and spiders on Zoom?
Peter – With a legacy like yours, why not share your life story with the rest of the world? Who do you know that can help with the writing?
A person (or a pumpkin) can listen and feel their issue is not so bad, or the participant can take on everyone’s problems and go away feeling worse.
Before I left the room, I looked around and smiled. “Of course, If you want to talk more about planning for the days and years ahead, give me a call!”
As the door shut, I heard Casper shout:
“That was amazing! Ok, everybody, MASKS ON – Let’s have a Group Hug!”
~ HAPPY HALLOWEEN ~
-Loretta
Ok, I guess it’s not so quiet anymore.
TikTok started the crusade and mainstream media outlets picked it up. It’s all about a movement called ‘quiet quitting.’ In case you are not into TikTok and haven’t seen the video, click here.
ONE WAY to look at this craze is:
Quiet Quitters are frustrated and setting boundaries.
- They say they are burned out and being strangled by their job, always ‘on’ and forever at work.
- They say they weren’t hired to stay late after work hours, organize zoom calls during lunch, or answer work calls on the weekend.
ANOTHER WAY to look at it is:
Companies are tired of paying workers to work less.
- Workers are hired to join a company’s ‘team,’ and expectations include extra effort for a deadline, a challenge, or a brainstorming session.
- Companies don’t appreciate minimal effort. Why pay more for less?
What’s interesting about all of this is that recently a Gallop poll was taken to find out if workers of various ages were feeling engaged in the work they do. When asked, most said, “Uh, yeah, maybe 32% of the time.”
So, for those workers over 50 who are feeling less engaged on the job:
A Retirement Coach's way to look at it is:
- Make the MOST of quiet quitting
What if you tried quiet quitting and found a better work/life balance? What would you do with that new-found extra time? Would you spend more time with family and friends? Learn something new? Volunteer your expertise?
Quiet quitting gives you time to prepare for the after-work years! (BTW, I say ‘after- work years’ for a reason. The word ‘retirement’ can have different connotations. Remember Tom Brady?)
Quiet quitting gives you time to prepare for the after-work years! (BTW, I say ‘after- work years’ for a reason. The word ‘retirement’ can have different connotations. Remember Tom Brady?)
Time to Prepare
I’ve been saying it for years – Make time to consider how you will spend your days when you decide to no longer work full time. To help, examine your current priorities and needs. Ask yourself what you want NOW.
Then begin to explore new interests, exercise more, make new friends, enjoy closer family ties, and perhaps even volunteer to help others.
Then begin to explore new interests, exercise more, make new friends, enjoy closer family ties, and perhaps even volunteer to help others.
Rather than being called a
‘Quiet Quitter,'
call yourself a
‘QUIET PLANNER!’
Start Young
And to the groups that are years younger, I say find the balance between being a team player and being strangled by your job. These are exciting years for you to make a name for yourself and strive for those goals you set. If you are truly unhappy and see no future in what you are asked to do, go in and talk with your boss. If he/she has no solution, find another job!
Need some help and want to talk more? Let me know!
Loretta
Loretta
While traveling recently, I was introduced to someone from Brazil. When I told him I was a Life Coach with a specialty in Retirement, he was intrigued. The conversation went something like this:
He: Interesting. I recently watched a documentary about retirement in the U.S. If you don’t mind, I have a question.
Me: Sure, go ahead and ask.
He: Well, one thing really surprised me. Is it true when a person retires in the U.S., they are assigned a LEGAL GUARDIAN?
Me: Sure, go ahead and ask.
He: Well, one thing really surprised me. Is it true when a person retires in the U.S., they are assigned a LEGAL GUARDIAN?
A Legal Guardian at Retirement? No!
Needless to say, I was surprised. Perhaps the film dealt with financial planning or offered other suggestions for protecting one’s assets during retirement. Somehow, he had come away with a very strange conclusion.
Note: Many people in the U.S. take legal steps to assign Power of Attorney to a family member or trusted friend as part of their Estate Planning. This gives that person the legal authority to care for the personal and property interests of someone who has become physically or mentally impaired.
A legal guardian is similar in nature, but the guardian is assigned through an extensive court proceeding rather than through the wishes of the individual. Obviously, neither is an automatic factor of retirement.
Guard Against the Dark Side
What I did not share with him - and what I really don’t like to linger on here because our focus in these pages is the power of positivity – is the fact that after retiring some people do experience the dark side of retirement. Simply put, the dark side of retirement has to do with feeling lost, useless, depressed, and simply without validation. Sitting in the house all day with little to do is very boring and lonely; the spiraling down can even lead to exploring the liquor cabinet.
For some, the lack of purpose that comes with retirement is very hard and finding the positive can be difficult and they can no longer handle their own affairs. If you or anyone you know is experiencing depression or having trouble shifting a negative mindset, I encourage reaching out to a good therapist or consulting with your primary care physician. There is help!
Focus on the Bright Side
Happily, what most people can look forward to is the bright side of retirement!
And, indeed, there is a bright side – time to do the things you really enjoy, opportunities for creative and exciting adventures, satisfaction of embracing the new and nurturing the tried and true. It involves PLANNING, and there are a few simple things you can do now to make YOUR future look bright.
Step One: PHYSICAL
Start now to build an exercise routine. This does not require a gym membership or a Lulu Lemon outfit. If you are new at it, start with 10 minutes and watch yourself build up to 30.
Step Two: MENTAL
Set your mind to being more positive every day. Make things happen. What are you are really good at and enjoy doing? Spend a little time starting up again. (Photography? Learning a language? Volunteer?)
Step Three: SOCIAL
Make sure your friends and social connections are not all associated with your work. You’ll have new friends thanks to step two! And…, get rid of negativity. If relationships are hard to break, try to interact less often.
Step Four: SPIRITUAL
This is not an edict for religion. Instead find time to bring significance to your daily routine. How can you contribute? How can you feel satisfied? Oh yes, and perform a random act of kindness every day.
That’s it. I’ve tried to make it short and sweet. Whether you are following these suggestions yourself or if you are a Power of Attorney or a Legal Guardian trying to help the person in your care, working through these four steps is bound to lead to positive and impactful benefits in the years ahead.
Loretta
Loretta
Episode 5 of Resources for a Modern Retirement focuses on getting creative in retirement and finding new passions.
How are you going to spend your newfound free time in retirement? Today’s podcast introduces you to Jerry Park, who I think you will find to be an absolute inspiration.
Jerry suggests:
Jerry suggests:
- Think about and plan for at least four areas of interest to pursue BEFORE you retire.
- Don’t be alone. Go out and mix with people because there is always someone or something that will help you connect.
- Allow yourself to be creative and most of all make sure you are having FUN!
About Our Episode Guest
Author
Loretta Saff, M.A., CPC, CPRC
As an active writer, both nationally and internationally, Loretta Saff's humor columns, blog, and lifestyle articles reflect an insight in dealing with situations that helps people get to their core issues and encourage confidence, trust and support.
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