Go to my website www.coachingwithloretta.com and click on the ‘Inspiration’ tab to meet Steve, a guy who has just retired. You can help him make some choices in his retirement journey – that might just help you, too. Go ahead, have some fun!

Remember when the only time we talked about ZOOM was when we were discussing Superman, Tinkerbell or Sonic the Hedgehog?  Well, you’ve come a long way, baby!
 
Now, the word ZOOM can be:

​Remember, too, when we thought that the only people who hung around computers and got their mail electronically were … ‘geeks?’ (Sorry). As of 2019, the percentage of adults in the U.S. who use the internet looks like this: 

​Psychologist Matthew D. Lieberman, professor at UCLA says in his book, Social, that “the human need to connect is as important as the need for food and shelter.” But how are we supposed to connect at this time when we are told to stay home, limit in-person exposure, and wear a mask? 

​I know some people have a love/hate relationship with technology. I know, too, that when you are zooming (verb) you can sometimes feel ‘lost in the crowd.’ But if planned properly, there is a way to host an on-line meeting that can be a lot of fun. 

Let me introduce you to Zoom (adjective) BREAKOUT ROOMS:

When I started talking about this, my friend Suzanne, said, “Hooray! A place to take a break from the tiresome world of Zoom!” Bob, on the other hand, said, “That sounds like a great way to sneak away from the meeting altogether!” But I think you will find Breakout Rooms to be a welcome change from the full meeting.

​I recently attended a conference via Zoom (noun). There were more than 75 people in attendance, and I said my ‘hellos’ to the little rectangles that kept popping up on the screen. Of course, since all of us were muted by the host, I sat at my computer sounding something like this:

​The meeting officially opened. After we heard the introductions and the agenda, we listened to the invited speaker. Then, just as I was searching for when the first pause in the program would be, the host said, “Ok, now we are going to go to BREAKOUT ROOMS.” 

​You, the participant, don’t have to do anything except wait. You will be automatically transferred (‘Beam me down, Scotty!’) to the room where you have been assigned. When these rooms are used to enhance a discussion, it is a way for the host of the meeting to give participants a chance to share their thoughts as well as hear what others felt about what was just experienced.

​ It can also be used as an idea exchange for the next step in a project. Sometimes I’ve used breakout rooms for Newcomers to our city. In this case, there was not really an assignment – more of a ‘meet and greet’ with starter questions like “Where are you from?” and “What do you miss most about where you last lived?” It’s so nice to be greeted by just four larger rectangles. Each person gets two minutes to talk, and usually the discussion takes off from there. 

Maybe you will find that Emily used to live in Denver – and knows your cousin! Or Frank moved here to retire and is thinking about starting a small business from home, or that Bob and his wife are filmmakers who decided this is the perfect city for a movie! Whatever the topic, each person has a chance to be heard. Once the time runs out, and by the way you’ll have a countdown clock visible so that everyone gets a chance to speak, then… Zoom! (verb) you are automatically ‘sent back’ to that place with all the little rectangles. It’s like magic! (“Beam me back up, Scotty!”)

​The point is that you can spend your time online in a large gathering and feel like you’ve watched TV for an hour, or you can come away knowing you really accomplished something, met new friends, and /or felt like you made your ideas and needs heard.

​You need connection. Technology is here to stay, and how you use it – or grumble about its challenges – is up to you. So, to help my image of being ‘an Influencer,’ and to make you look really smart and tech-savvy, here are 4 tips for your trip around Zoom:

Invite me to your large meeting. I just might stop by – as long as you promise
​ to include Breakout Rooms.    
 
May the Force Be With You!

 Loretta

I recently came across this quote, and I liked it a lot. I thought about how much I miss traveling, so I decided to plan a trip - keeping the message in mind. It was a great experience. Here is my journal and a few pictures:  

“T’was the day of my travels…”
I just want to share
This trip during COVID
You’ll think you’ve been there!
 
On looking - On pausing-
On observing things-
What joy and excitement
Really NOTICING brings
 
I got up real early
To get a head start
So as not to miss out –
Now, isn’t that smart?
 
With my phone for pictures
I took a little blank book
To write down the adventure
I’ll call, “ Take a Good Look.”

The bedroom – it’s lovely
Those windows, great light!
Such pleasure I got
Enjoying the sight.
 
Then I looked at the wall
Saw the art in its frame
A beautiful flower…
Would I remember the name?

Ah, yes – it’s PROTEA!
The colors painted with flare
Then I smiled just remembering
Why we put it put there.
 
On looking - On pausing-
On observing things-
What joy and excitement
Really NOTICING brings
 
I knew where to go next.
I did not hesitate
The bathroom – so important -
Time to appreciate

​The towels look pretty
All cream, black and white
A mirror reflecting -
The room looks so bright!

Once showered and primped
I felt together and steady
With passport in hand
I was courageous and ready.
 
How often we travel
And almost always ignore
Things like fluffy, soft carpets
And a lovely tile floor.

On looking - On pausing-
On observing things-
What joy and excitement
Really NOTICING brings
 
The kitchen was next
I looked around with delight
Antique teapots and milk bottles
Were a beautiful sight
 
As I really looked at them
For the first time in a while
All the memories came;
They all made me smile

​The bottles with writing
Of unique shapes and sizes
Were found at flea markets
It was like winning prizes
 
And the teapots – all metal
From back in the day
Made such a happy
And colorful display
 
I opened the fridge
More colors I could see
  Blueberries and strawberries,
And light green Kiwi.
​
It’s really important
I thought with a smile
To plan a trip to appreciate
Once in a while.
​
So start where you are;
Be your own wish-granting fairy!
Realize that your home
Can be the i-tin-er-ary!
 
On looking - On pausing-
On observing things-
What joy and excitement
Really NOTICING brings
 
Fortified, I continued
And explored all around.
There in the living room
My desk could be found
 
Of course, it’s familiar
Of course, I’m there every day
But now I could see it
In a new special way
 
The bookends - the rhinos
From that trip last fall
When was the last time
I noticed them at all?

My bookshelves are full
It was such fun to look
Remembering when reading
Meant holding a book!

​And that box full of pens -
That stay tall in their places.
How cute is that container
With my granddaughters’ faces!
 
On looking - On pausing-
On observing things-
What joy and excitement
Really NOTICING brings
 
The computer, a good friend,
A companion, and more
Bringing ZOOM and FACEBOOK greetings
Full of connections galore!

Yes, on my trip I stayed home -
It was no hologram.
It made me realize very quickly
How lucky I am.
 
On looking - On pausing-
On observing things-
What joy and excitement
Really NOTICING brings

You try it -
 (and don’t stop to clean out a drawer!)

-Loretta

Regardless of where you are in your professional journey, the experience of sheltering-in-place can be looked at as practice for retirement!​  

​“Huh?” you say. “If this is retirement, don’t sign me up.” Or maybe you’re thinking there is no way this shelter-in-place has anything to do with retirement. Let's take a look:
      
​It’s been over two months that we have been unable to go out to our usual places – work/gym/movies/parties/travel, etc.  At first it seemed like it would be short-term, and we could handle it just fine. We can either work from home, catch up on our sleep, or simply relax.  After all, there's online shopping, and we can have our groceries delivered.

​“Retirement is different,” you argue.
“Retirement will let me do what I want to do when I want to do it.
Now I can hardly go out - I wake up every morning ​wondering
​ 'What am I going to do today?'"

Exactly. As a retirement coach, I’ve spent a lot of time asking people, “So, when you retire,  what are you going to do -and when are you going to do it?” ​I get answers like,

That's when I remind them that retirement is about more than money. Yes, having enough money is very important, and your financial consultant can work with you to help figure out how much will be enough for that sailboat, your dream travels, or simply to pay off your mortgage.
​
But what about the rest? This pandemic is putting those same questions to you right now. Are you physically fit? How do you handle change?  Who is your social network? What brings you fulfillment and peace? Well, the good news is that with ‘shelter-in-place’ you have been practicing!  Take a look:

See? You are building good habits that will pay off when - some day! - you are ready for retirement. Isn't it funny how "Things turn out the best for people who make the best of how things turn out!"?  
​
Keep practicing! Get physical; find creative ways to spend your time, and continue to offer random acts of kindness to your friends and neighbors. And feel good knowing that you are paving the path to retirement! 
    

Loretta

Because “things turn out best for the people who make the best of how things turn out”, I have decided to repost one of my previous blogs. In today’s uncertain and scary times, when many of us:

• Feel trapped at home
• Are overeating and over-streaming
• Are wondering if we will be able to go back to work
• Are wondering if our kids/grandkids will go back to school in the fall

I share with you this simple exercise. If done every day for 30 days, it
can help change your outlook. I resend this blog with my wishes that
you stay safe and healthy.

Please leave a note on one of the platforms below or comment on this blog post to let me know how you are doing.

Post some pictures of what you are grateful for and what makes you happy. I want to know how your random acts of kindness and writing about your positive experiences made you feel. Tell me about your time in meditation. And be sure to tell me when you start feeling like HAPPY is becoming a habit.

Good luck! And get your camera ready – you’ll be finding yourself smiling a lot more.

SHARE YOUR PROGRESS BY:

1. Instagram – FOLLOW @MAKEHAPPYAHABIT for inspiration and share your own pictures of what makes you happy
2. Facebook – LIKE /MAKEHAPPYAHABIT and post an update about how the challenge is changing your outlook
3. Twitter – FOLLOW @ACCOMPLISHCOACH and tweet your own progress
4. Pinterest – FOLLOW /ACCOMPLISHCOACH and start a Happiness board

​Don’t forget to include #makehappyahabit in your posts

Loretta

My husband’s a mathematician – isn’t that scary! Sometimes people ask me what we talk about. Sometimes I’ll tell them that he whispers seductive equations in my ear – like “just think about the square root of eight hundred and twelve…”  But most often he tells me and most people that “mathematics is everywhere.”
​
I certainly found it in a recent article on retirement in Forbes Magazine.  The author, Joseph Coughlin, a well-known researcher, teacher, and head of the MIT Age Lab, talked about “The New Math of Retirement Togetherness.”  

It went something like this: There are 164 hours in a week. During that time, approximately 8 hours a day are spent sleeping, leaving 112 waking hours in a week for each of us. [No, this is not an SAT Math question.]
​
Now, if a typical workday is, say, 9 hours, that makes it minus 45 hours a week away from your partner. This brings it to 67 hours of together time. Then he continues his calculation by allowing an hour a day for travel (subtracting 5 for the workdays) and brought the discussion to 62 hours of ‘togetherness’ in a week. ​

At this point Coughlin went on to narrow things down stating that life routines of home/child/personal responsibilities, etc., result in the fact that the reality is that a typical couple may often spend only six (6) hours a day together. Quite a surprise when we actually do the math, right?
​
But that’s not quite the end of the math. Professor Coughlin then went on to compare this number to the number of hours couples spend together in RETIREMENT. This means that the original 45 hours a week of work that were subtracted are now added back. Oh, and so are the 5 allowed for travel. So, let’s see, that’s now 45 + 5 = 50 divided by 5 = an extra 10 waking hours a day for a retired couple to spend together! 

Is that paradise? What will you do with that newly awarded together time? Suppose you already have a schedule and your partner questions your comings and goings, how will you react?  

These are situations that you and your significant other must consider as retirement comes closer. Sure, visions of the perfect dream vacations and spontaneous trips to see the grandkids come to mind. Golf, beach, gardening and bike rides bring smiles. But how often will you do those things?

What if your list of ‘things to do’ doesn’t match that of your partner’s? In fact, do you really want everything on your list to match that of your partner?

Just think about how smart and happy you will feel in retirement when you and your partner have already worked on these challenges! Perhaps you explored the opportunities for starting a new business or offering consulting in an area you know well. You’ll feel glad you made new friends in that Saturday morning photography class you signed up for two years ago and have been enjoying ever since.  ​

​I ran into a neighbor and his wife recently, when I was out walking the dog. He is an executive who is looking forward to leaving the deadlines and fundraising behind.  I asked him how he plans to spend his time, and his wife immediately answered, “He’s going to paint the family room, clean out the garden, and join the choir so we can sing together on Sundays!” I looked at him and he rolled his eyes and said, “Do I have a choice?” The answer is “yes, you do have a choice.” Discuss it now so you both can enjoy the added time together later. 

How are you going to spend yours? Will you be looking at your partner every morning asking, “What are we going to do today?” Or are you going to be full of your own well-thought-out ideas and plans that sometimes are shared and sometimes accomplished on your own?

Help yourself enjoy your retirement by planning before you get there. Help your relationship with your partner by talking about and understanding each person’s wants and needs.  Then,

#retirement #couples #relationships #planning

You’re surrounded by it.  All the stores are full of Holiday Cheer, and Sirius Radio has had a “Holiday Songs” station since just after Halloween.  Now, they are almost here – THE HOLIDAYS.
​
#holidays #life strategies #positivity

While to some this may mean hugs and giggles, to others it can shout “Stress Alert! Stress Alert!”Whatever the message coming your way, a little MENTAL PREPARATION will help you be ready to enjoy and greet your family and friends with enthusiasm.
Here are three simple and helpful hints to make the season “Positively Fabulous!,” one of happy memories and family togetherness.

Yep, that’s YOU – with a choice. Listen to yourself and analyze your thoughts. If you’ve just come back from a trip, what is the first thing you talk about – the bad weather or the wonderful food? The annoying airports or the beautiful scenery? Just the order in which you mention things tells you something about yourself.
​
Try to rethink what you talk about. Spend more time on the good times you had; talk about something that made you laugh. In fact, try not mentioning the ‘annoying’ things that happened. I bet you’ll forget about them!

Now, if you find yourself stuck out on the porch with Aunt Sally, who is telling you how her arthritis stops her from having fun, try getting her to tell you something positive. Ask her about her dog. Explore what books she likes to read. Get her to talk about wonderful Thanksgivings she remembers over the years. If Aunt Sally is too negative, go get her a mimosa, drop it off, and excuse yourself to the bathroom!

Do the things you like to do. Enjoy a massage? Want time to read? Love playing with the kids? Make time to do it. Make a holiday schedule that includes things that YOU like to do. When you are happy and relaxed, it will make you much more fun to be around and tolerant of others.

~Loretta

Boo! It’s almost Halloween. Since mid September you’ve seen all the preparations, decorations, and merchandise. There are lights for your lawn, bags of trick-or-treat candies for your give-away bowl, and – of course - the Starbuck’s Pumpkin Spice latte!

Now comes the big question. You are probably going to a Halloween party, so...

I’ll bet you probably started planning for it far in advance. After all, you’ll need to think it through, get a costume, make sure it’s comfortable, and check that it looks good.  Will you be someone scary? Someone cool? Someone funny? A gorilla? A princess? A Zombie?  Such choices! And what fun to play and search, and be creative. 

​

Which reminds me of …, RETIREMENT!  So...

Soon your old identity of “doctor,” “lawyer,” “businessman,” “teacher,” will be no longer applicable, so who are you going to be without that business card?  

It’s a good idea to start planning now. Just like for Halloween, you’ll need to make some plans, decide how you want to spend your time, and then figure out how you will make it all happen. You can try on different costumes and take different paths towards the treats you so desire. 

The special beauty of retirement is that you can always take off the costume if it becomes uncomfortable. Then you can change into something else!

Take Bob, for example.  He knew when he retired, he was going to spend his time riding and grooming horses. He had a place to start.
​
He soon found that doing this all day every day was not really what he had in mind. So, he then cut back to going to the stables twice a week.  And since he always liked writing, now he spends a lot of time writing mysteries set in the horseback riding world.

Emily’s love for taking photographs had to take a back seat to work and family responsibilities. Two years before she retired, she made some plans and signed up for a weekend course in photography to sharpen her skills. She loves going out in the early morning to walk along the lake, and her nature photographs are beautiful.

Recently, someone asked her to take photos of their son’s wedding and various other special events. That then turned into teaching photography as a continuing education course to adults at the local high school.

It all started with having a plan. That is the secret to success with most things, and it is really important in retirement. Sure, you might say you have your finances in order, but after all, retirement is about so much more than the money.

Loretta Saff is a Certified Professional Retirement Coach and can be reached at www.coachingwithloretta.com.

SO, …, WHAT WILL YOU DO NOW?
Some people facing retirement say:

• “Ah, – time to do what I want, when I want.”
• “I’m going to get up late and enjoy my coffee and the newspaper.”
• “Travel!  I am going to travel!” 
• “Well, I’ll probably start another company or get a paying job.”

All these sound great and interesting – on the surface.  But let’s look at them more carefully.

“Ah, time to do what I want when I want.”  Ok, but what do you want? And in what order do you want it? There may be a lot of choices and a lot of opportunities for you and your time. Thinking about it and planning ahead can make a huge difference and help avoid disappointment.

“I’m going to get up late and enjoy my coffee and the newspaper.”  Ok, so assuming you don’t sleep later than 8:00, that brings us to around 10 a.m. Good for you! You are caught up on what is happening in the world. Now what? (And, by the way, if you’re only having coffee and you use a Keurig, you will probably be done by 9:30!)

“Travel! I am going to travel!” Yes! Plan those trips to your dream cities. And go. But remember, travel is getting harder and harder. Planes are cancelled; security causes long lines; prices are through the roof.  And what if your knee starts hurting again? Just like you spend time planning the details of a trip, you need to have a plan for all those other weeks when you are not traveling!

“Well, I’ll probably start another company or get another job.”  But wait, why did you retire in the first place? Will you make sure that you won’t face the difficulties and stressors that made you leave?

Don’t get me wrong – any of these are a good starting point for some real thinking and self-assessment. Being honest with yourself is a lot easier with an objective partner. A few sessions with a Retirement Coach can make all the difference.

You recognize that quote. It’s the opening scene to MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE. Of course, Jim always accepts the assignment; and we get to enjoy the adventure.

Sometimes in life you do have choices. You can choose – even volunteer – for the mission. But sometimes the mission is simply forced on you, and then you have to navigate the challenges.

Transitions
Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about TRANSITIONS. Often it’s as simple as going off to college or wanting to change jobs. Other times it’s finding yourself an empty nester, being ‘let go’ from a job, or becoming single after years of partnership. Or maybe you are moving from one place to another, just lost someone you love, or realize that you must RETIRE.

These transitions – or CHANGES – all force you to ask yourself similar questions:

• Who am I NOW?
• How will I spend my spare time?
• Which people will I surround myself with?
• How am I going to find fulfillment?

I‘ve heard lots of the answers.  Many people think that they will be fine because they are comfortable financially.  And yet there are many ‘rich’ people who are very unhappy and lost. Others look forward to the change and they will simply “take it as it comes.” Maybe…, for a little while.

Each transition happens to a different you. It’s important to take a good look at who you are NOW. Then you can explore what you really want and make a plan for how to get there.

Coaching You Through the Transition
As a coach, I don’t give you the plan. Only you know what will make you enthused about getting up in the morning. But coaching will help you decide what you really want and what’s been stopping you from getting there. Once you are armed with that information, you’ll sharpen your focus and be ready for what lies ahead.

CHANGE – Some people can handle it just fine, and others, ‘not so much.’ Whether you are Jim (or Janet) and find that your:

• Relationship is changing;
• Lifestyle is changing;
• Attitude is changing;
• Job/place to live is changing;
• You’re getting married/Having a baby/Becoming empty nester; or
• Yikes! You’re going to Retire (!)

having a coach makes a big difference as you navigate the new environment. The “Transition Mission” is yours – and you have to choose to accept it.  Let me help you make it an exciting

MISSION: POSSIBLE!