ARE YOU READY TO MAKE HAPPY A HABIT?

Get ready…, Get set…, Go! It’s almost March 20th, the United Nations-sanctioned International Day of Happiness. This is the day we make sure to not only do what makes us happy but also to spread happiness by encouraging all around us to do the same. But what if you just don’t feel happy? What if you call yourself more of a ‘glass half-empty’ kind of person?

Assuming that you really don’t enjoy being that way, I challenge you to take the next 30 days to MAKE HAPPY A HABIT! I’ll give you the steps so you become empowered to look at the world differently and feel the joy and contentment you deserve. The #makehappyahabitcampaign begins March 20th. You’ll see daily support on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and anywhere else you can help me  ‘share’ it.

There is real science behind the emotions of happiness and love. Dr. Barbara Frederickson, Psychologist and Neuroscience Professor at UNC, Chapel Hill said, “The ways that we feel happiness and well-being are actually showing up in the cells of our immune system and supporting our health.”  What a great testimonial!  Why wouldn’t we want to Make Happy a Habit?

My challenge to you is based on the work of psychologist and happiness researcher, Shawn Achor. Surprising as it sounds, he says that it is possible to re-wire your brain to be happier.

You don’t have to wear a smiley-face hat or tell funny jokes. Simply doing the following five activities daily can rewire your brain towards happiness. (I include my order to just give you some idea of fitting it into your day. You organize it however it is convenient for you.)

1 – THINK OF THREE THINGS YOU’RE GRATEFUL FOR.
I like to do this – out loud – in the morning when I get up. I encourage those around me to join in.  It’s a good family tradition.

2 – WRITE ABOUT A POSITIVE EXPERIENCE FROM THE PAST 24 HOURS.
I do this in the evening. I keep a notebook on my nightstand. This simple activity has the amazing power of changing your entire mindset. You will comb through the day, tossing aside the negative and focusing on the positive.  Guaranteed to make you smile.

3 – EXERCISE (AT LEAST 20 MIN)
I am a morning person, so I make time before breakfast to get in my exercise. Whether it is a brisk walk, time at the gym, or climbing stairs, give yourself 20 minutes and increase your activity.  I’m including  four short videos of easy five-minute exercises on my website. Do all four in a day and you’ll have your 20 minutes!

4 – MEDITATE (5-7 MIN)
I find that meditating mid-afternoon works for me.  No need to think mantras or posing cross-legged on the carpet. The simplest meditation can be sitting quietly listening to soothing music  (no words) – and focusing on either the music, your breathing, or a body scan from head toe. If you want some guidance, I like the free app HEADSPACE, which you can use with your earphones while sitting at your desk.  Meditation calms and centers, helping you focus and better handle whatever comes your way.

5 – PERFORM ONE RANDOM ACT OF KINDNESS.
All day every day is a good time for a random act of kindness. Performing a selfless act that helps, compliments, or encourages someone has an amazing effect on all involved.  You’ll enjoy every minute. To help get you started, I’ll post of list of suggestions on my website,

YOU CAN DO THIS!  In fact, YOU CAN GET YOUR KIDS TO DO THIS!!! Encourage everyone around you to get involved.

Check out my Instagram for 30 days of inspiration for your 30-day MAKE HAPPY A HABIT! Challenge on social media. You keep count of your 30 days.

Please leave a note on one of the platforms below or comment on this blog post to let me know how you are doing. Post some pictures of what you are grateful for and what makes you happy. I want to know how your random acts of kindness and writing about your positive experiences made you feel. Tell me about your time in meditation. And be sure to tell me when you start feeling like HAPPY is becoming a habit.

Good luck! And get your camera ready – you’ll be finding yourself smiling a lot more.
Loretta

#makehappyahabit

SHARE YOUR PROGRESS BY:

1. Instagram – FOLLOW @MAKEHAPPYAHABIT for inspiration and share your own pictures of what makes you happy
2. Facebook – LIKE /MAKEHAPPYAHABIT and post an update about how the challenge is changing your outlook
3. Twitter – FOLLOW @ACCOMPLISHCOACH and tweet your own progress
4. Pinterest – FOLLOW /ACCOMPLISHCOACH and start a Happiness board

Don’t forget to include #makehappyahabit in your posts

Use the Emotional Freedom Technique to fight your fears by "Tapping" into your body's natural healing energy.
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The Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), or ‘tapping,’ is a powerful energy therapy that can help you help yourself by tapping into your body’s natural healing energy.  EFT incorporates the principles behind acupuncture and mind-body connection therapies to confront those lurking triggers or fears that cause limiting beliefs, slowing you down, and often completely stopping you from achieving your goals.

EFT is essentially “psychological acupressure.” That is a fancy way of saying it uses a gentle tapping technique instead of needles to stimulate traditional Chinese acupuncture points.

EFT helps with resolving chronic pain, anxiety, and phobias, giving you relief and release from the boogeymen of haunting memories. It will allow you to once again experience improved health, resilience and positive energy.
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I know first-hand how effective the Emotional Freedom Technique is. For over 30 years, I have had a fear of sitting in the middle of a row. Whether it’s the movies, the symphony, a lecture or a rock concert – I always had to plan ahead and snag my special seat on the aisle. (The reason behind this is not really that important; just know that it was a real anxiety-producer for me.)

After only one session of EFT, I found that though I was still conscious of my fear, it didn’t feel as intense as before. Tentatively, I went to a movie and sat four seats in. I looked around (habit) and then concentrated on the film and had a great evening. I could hardly believe it! I kept testing myself after that – at the symphony, in a lecture; I was able to handle the seating and enjoy the event without worry!

With that success, I knew I needed to understand more about this energy technique, so I decided to become certified in Levels 1 and 2 of EFT.
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After the training, I was convinced what a vital and important tool EFT is for emotional health. Using tapping to connect to your body’s energy meridians while focusing on the fear, you can activate your own natural healing system.

This non-invasive technique will be one of the most important tools in your Empowerment Toolbox.

SO, …, WHAT WILL YOU DO NOW?
Some people facing retirement say:

• “Ah, – time to do what I want, when I want.”
• “I’m going to get up late and enjoy my coffee and the newspaper.”
• “Travel!  I am going to travel!” 
• “Well, I’ll probably start another company or get a paying job.”

All these sound great and interesting – on the surface.  But let’s look at them more carefully.

“Ah, time to do what I want when I want.”  Ok, but what do you want? And in what order do you want it? There may be a lot of choices and a lot of opportunities for you and your time. Thinking about it and planning ahead can make a huge difference and help avoid disappointment.

“I’m going to get up late and enjoy my coffee and the newspaper.”  Ok, so assuming you don’t sleep later than 8:00, that brings us to around 10 a.m. Good for you! You are caught up on what is happening in the world. Now what? (And, by the way, if you’re only having coffee and you use a Keurig, you will probably be done by 9:30!)

“Travel! I am going to travel!” Yes! Plan those trips to your dream cities. And go. But remember, travel is getting harder and harder. Planes are cancelled; security causes long lines; prices are through the roof.  And what if your knee starts hurting again? Just like you spend time planning the details of a trip, you need to have a plan for all those other weeks when you are not traveling!

“Well, I’ll probably start another company or get another job.”  But wait, why did you retire in the first place? Will you make sure that you won’t face the difficulties and stressors that made you leave?

Don’t get me wrong – any of these are a good starting point for some real thinking and self-assessment. Being honest with yourself is a lot easier with an objective partner. A few sessions with a Retirement Coach can make all the difference.

Sociologist Jean Potuchek wrote: “One of the biggest changes accompanying retirement is the change in how we use our time.  For most adults in full-time jobs, work schedules provide the structure that the rest of our lives are organized around, and freedom from those time constraints is the central dream of retirement. We imagine lives that will be simultaneously rich and relaxed, full without the stress of our work lives. But this freedom can be a double-edged sword; it can leave us feeling unmoored.”

WILL YOU BE THE SCHEDULER –
using pen, paper, computer, and phone – filling all your calendars with lunch, travel, classes, and volunteer work? Monday 10-12, Tuesday 12-1, Wednesday 10-12 and 12-1, etc. This is fun until it’s not fun anymore because there’s simply too much activity every day. (In fact, isn’t that why some of you retired?)
or

WILL YOU BE THE GO-WITH-THE-FLOW TYPE –
sleep til you wake up, do whatever the day feels like when you feel it, be spontaneous? Choose that sweet thing to do on the day you want to do it?  This seems fine until you end up feeling disappointed in your choices, sitting around watching TV, and feeling angry that your kids haven’t called.

OK – SO WHAT’S THE ANSWER?
I believe you can have it both ways!  You can have a schedule that helps you get up every day, AND you can also allow for a little spontaneity. I believe you can open yourself up to doing new things and meeting new people without being overly scheduled and getting overly tired.

But how do you figure it all out?  And can you do it by yourself?  Retirement is a time of huge transition. You need to reconnect with who you are now.  After all, you DESERVE to:

You recognize that quote. It’s the opening scene to MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE. Of course, Jim always accepts the assignment; and we get to enjoy the adventure.

Sometimes in life you do have choices. You can choose – even volunteer – for the mission. But sometimes the mission is simply forced on you, and then you have to navigate the challenges.

Transitions
Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about TRANSITIONS. Often it’s as simple as going off to college or wanting to change jobs. Other times it’s finding yourself an empty nester, being ‘let go’ from a job, or becoming single after years of partnership. Or maybe you are moving from one place to another, just lost someone you love, or realize that you must RETIRE.

These transitions – or CHANGES – all force you to ask yourself similar questions:

• Who am I NOW?
• How will I spend my spare time?
• Which people will I surround myself with?
• How am I going to find fulfillment?

I‘ve heard lots of the answers.  Many people think that they will be fine because they are comfortable financially.  And yet there are many ‘rich’ people who are very unhappy and lost. Others look forward to the change and they will simply “take it as it comes.” Maybe…, for a little while.

Each transition happens to a different you. It’s important to take a good look at who you are NOW. Then you can explore what you really want and make a plan for how to get there.

Coaching You Through the Transition
As a coach, I don’t give you the plan. Only you know what will make you enthused about getting up in the morning. But coaching will help you decide what you really want and what’s been stopping you from getting there. Once you are armed with that information, you’ll sharpen your focus and be ready for what lies ahead.

CHANGE – Some people can handle it just fine, and others, ‘not so much.’ Whether you are Jim (or Janet) and find that your:

• Relationship is changing;
• Lifestyle is changing;
• Attitude is changing;
• Job/place to live is changing;
• You’re getting married/Having a baby/Becoming empty nester; or
• Yikes! You’re going to Retire (!)

having a coach makes a big difference as you navigate the new environment. The “Transition Mission” is yours – and you have to choose to accept it.  Let me help you make it an exciting

MISSION: POSSIBLE!

Are you getting your family involved in the MAKE HAPPY A HABIT campaign? Start now and enjoy facing the challenge together, supporting each other, and sharing the good feelings that are guaranteed.

If you’ve been hesitating to start your 30 days, let me remind you that as a parent, you are a role model. Whenever you are with your kids, they are watching and often copying everything you do.

So… set an example, and start practicing every day to Make Happy A Habit. You’ll really enjoy it when you find yourself surrounded by people who are more positive, more optimistic and a lot more resilient.

SAY (OUT LOUD) THREE THINGS FOR WHICH YOU ARE GRATEFUL
Do this in the morning when everyone wakes up, over breakfast, or when you take the kids to school.  It puts all involved in a good mindset to face the day.

WRITE DOWN ONE GOOD THING THAT HAS HAPPENED IN THE LAST 24 HOURS
This is especially good to do before going to sleep. It helps to have them think positive thoughts as they say good night.

It is important to WRITE down the thoughts. Have the younger kids tell you about it so you can help them write simple words and even draw a picture. For the older ones, they can write just one sentence or and entire paragraph.

EXERCISE 20 MINUTES A DAY
You can best plan how this fits into your family’s day. Many kids will have a time on the playground or during PE at school. If at home, whoever is in charge should make exercise happen.  If it’s raining, dance or do cheers in the family room.

For you parents who are ‘too busy’ at work, you can divide it up into two 10-minute sessions. Walk up and down the stairs or jog around the parking lot at lunchtime. Be sure to tell the kids when you get home.

MEDITATE AT LEAST 5 MINUTES A DAY
Here is your ticket to relaxation and focus.  Turn off your electronics, and turn on some wordless music. Focus on your breathing or the music.  Or simply do a body scan.
For very young kids you can merely sit in silence. Many experts recommend one minute of silence per year of age (up to 8) for kids.  Just make time for quiet time.

(You’re welcome…)

PERFORM A RANDOM ACT OF KINDNESS
Simply be kind. Encourage the kids to help a neighbor, hold a door for someone, or even share their cookies. This kindness is especially satisfying because being considerate towards others inspires them to be kind to someone else.

See – not too hard!  Get your family involved, be a role model, and Make Happy a Habit!

Loretta

There was quite a buzz a couple of years ago at The Nashville Antique and Garden Show. It had to do with creative thinking!

I share it with you because these are the kinds of things you should be asking your kids.

Then hand it to your child for his turn and pass it around to all who are there. (Yes, adults can have fun with this, too.) There are no real wrong answers – just some that are more creative.

Someone may simply say, “It’s a stick!”  You can accept it but encourage broader thinking next time as you play. Soon everyone gets into it.

You take it and say, “A cane!”  and pretend you walk slowly and need the help of a walking stick.

Next time, your child might say, “A sword,” and swing it around like Darth Vader!
Continue back and forth for a few minutes and watch the creative ideas flow. It’s exciting! It’s fun! And it will give you a little insight into your child’s spatial imagination.
Try to always be aware of the things around you. Talk about them with your kids. And then, put them to a different use!

What usually happens with me now is that out of nowhere my grand kids will look at me with a twinkle and a smile as they pick up something and say, ​“What is it?”

​~Loretta~