<![CDATA[accomplish! coaching with Loretta Saff - Balance Blog (Real Blog)]]>Fri, 24 Apr 2026 16:14:17 -0500Weebly<![CDATA[Once Upon a Time …starts now (even at 50+)]]>Sun, 30 Mar 2025 14:44:54 GMThttp://www.coachingwithloretta.com/accomplish-coaching-blog/once-upon-a-time-starts-now-even-at-50
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We all grew up with fairy tales. Years ago, I taught gifted kids in a creative writing class. One of the exercises I used was to challenge the kids to write a follow-up of what happened to any fairy tale character of their choice - TWO YEARS LATER. Oh, the tales I got – and with such unique endings! ...
1. Cinderella and Prince Charming split up. The prince gambled away his fortune, ​and Cinderella moved to LA and opened… a shoe store.
2. Snow White married her prince, and she found that his mother looked in the mirror even more than Snow White’s stepmother.  Soon her new mother-in-law chased Snow White away, forcing her to end up keeping house for the seven dwarfs. Ultimately, she became hard of hearing because of all that whistling!
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Fairy-Tail Endings?

This made me think a lot about fairy-tale endings. How can we make them happen for ourselves so that we don’t end up like this prince and the princesses??
 
Whether it’s career issues, relationships, or life transitions in general, I believe people are searching for that “Happily Ever After.” Over the years almost every coaching client I’ve worked with answers the question, “What do you really want?” the same way: “I just want to be happy.”

​So, what does being happy
​really mean to you?  

And how can you get there? Well, the fact is that you can sit back and just let things happen around you, or you can think about what you really want and begin making plans that can lead you to your new goals. Here’s the first step.
 
Let’s say you are 50+ and beginning to ask yourself, “Is this all there is?”  You’ve worked hard and you’ve accomplished a lot. The question then changes to, “What’s next?” 

Assuming you are like the rest of the world and say, “I just want to be happy,” This is the time to take a good look at who you are NOW and what really makes you happy. (Yes, you at 50+)

Hint: Think about some of those things you were really good at or interested in but gave up because of career or family obligations.
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This step is called self-awareness.

If you purposefully make time for some or one of those activities, you will be not only challenging your brain with something different, you will also be creating a new community for the future and having fun as well.

Go ahead and try it. Whether you are simply feeling stuck, facing one of life’s many transitions, or just wanting more, you’ll find self-awareness to be the first step on your path to ‘happily ever after.’
You’ll be motivated, energized, and more determined to reach your goals. Here’s a little creative writing idea for you. Like my students did for the fairy tales, take a few minutes to describe yourself two years from now. Writing about achieving what we want makes the victory a lot closer.  
      
-Loretta
]]><![CDATA[Plan Your Happily Ever After So That It's Not Just a Fairy Tale]]>Wed, 05 Mar 2025 19:02:21 GMThttp://www.coachingwithloretta.com/accomplish-coaching-blog/plan-your-happily-ever-after-so-that-its-not-just-a-fairy-tale
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"Your mind is a garden;
your thoughts are seeds.
You can grow flowers,
​or you can grow weeds."
-Dr. Seuss

Theodor Seuss Geisel adopted the name “Dr. Seuss” after an incident at Dartmouth in 1925. He was editor and chief of the humor magazine, Dartmouth Jack-O-Lantern. When he was caught drinking with nine of his friends in his room, he was forced to resign as editor.

To continue working on the magazine without the administration's knowledge, Geisel adopted the pen name "Seuss.” He used the title Dr. because his father wanted him to study medicine!
 
March 2nd was Dr. Seuss’s birthday. March 20th is another important day in March. 

March 20th is The International Day of Happiness

Yes, really! Go ahead - ask Google
The General Assembly of the United Nations in its resolution 66/281 of 12 July 2012 proclaimed 20 March the International Day of Happiness, recognizing the relevance of happiness and well-being as universal goals and aspirations in the lives of human beings around the world and the importance of their recognition in public policy objectives
Why is this important? Because traveling the road to happiness requires a positive outlook. I know in this time of political division and frustration it seems fruitless to tell you about the UN resolution and ask you to celebrate, but what better time than now!
BUT HOW?
Welcome to Make HAPPY a Habit!, my simple, easy-to-follow 30-day plan that will leave you feeling happy (contented/joyful/fulfilled/satisfied) and will make you more resilient, help you have less stress, and simply enjoy life more. Raise your hand if you’d like that!
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I’m sure you have some habits you’d like to stop (biting your nails, always being late because you think it makes you look important), and there are some we’d really like to do more often (get better at reading social cues, being able to sleep on an airplane). 

Read on for creating a daily habit that comes
​with guarantees. ​

Since science has proven that at least 40% of what we think and how we act is a choice*, choose to do the following five simple basic tasks every day for 30 days and see how this can help with planning your future:
1 – Every morning SAY (out loud) three things you are grateful for. Helps you greet the day with a smile.

2 – Every night WRITE down a positive experience from the past 24 hours (can be just one sentence) Keep a pad and pen on nightstand. Thinking positive before bedtime helps with sleep!

3 – Exercise - 20 min a day. This doesn’t have to include a Lululemon outfit or a gym membership. Go for a walk; enjoy nature. See how many steps you’ve completed.  (You can split the time, if you are a whiner)

4 – Meditate - 5-7 min a day, No mantra necessary. This can be guided (Headspace/Calm) or by simply sitting quietly listening to wordless music.  
​
5 – Perform a Random Act of Kindness (let someone in front of you in traffic, buy a coffee for the person behind you at Starbucks). There is real joy in a random act of kindness. 
There! That doesn’t look so hard, does it? Do it for 30 days, and it becomes a habit. BTW, you’ll get extra credit if you start today! It’s your choice.

“You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
You're on your own
And you know what you know.
And YOU are the one
who'll decide where to go.”
-Dr. Seuss

Travel safely,
​
Loretta
loretta@coachingwithloretta.com

*Sonja Lyubomirsky, PhD, distinguished professor of Psychology, University of California, Riverside.
]]><![CDATA[A Halloween Group Hug]]>Wed, 23 Oct 2024 05:00:00 GMThttp://www.coachingwithloretta.com/accomplish-coaching-blog/a-halloween-group-hug3680660
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As we adjust to the Fall season and all of the joys that come along with cooler weather, leaves changing color and cozying up in our favorite sweater, I find there is another common feeling during this season. So, I wanted to reshare last year's Halloween post, which still resonates.
~~​

Lately, I've gotten a lot of requests for my services as a Life/Retirement/Transition Coach. This time, I immediately thought the answer was group coaching.

Normally, I don’t share information about clients, but in order to help you understand that we need to reach out and help each other, I have obtained releases from anyone involved in this note.  

​Last week I held a group session with five attendees. Each had their own issues, and each was truly concerned. I’m sure you will recognize them: 
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I asked each in turn “What is going on?” and here are their answers:
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I gave her a questioning look.

“I was on my broom and one of my earbuds fell out. I had to look down to retrieve it - and SLAM! There I was, face flat into the tree. I heard people laughing! Why didn’t my radar warn me about the tree? Am I getting too old? Should I retire?”​
Cornelia: She spoke softly and made eye contact with each member of the group.

“Look, as early as the 1880s I became popular. My three colorful layers are attractive, and I’m small and easy to eat.”

​She teared up. 
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“At least I WAS easy to eat. I’m the most fun to eat by the handful! And, I mean, really, while we stay vigilant about the spread of Covid-19, people don’t want to eat anything by the handful!”

She started to sob.
​
“I’m fat free and keep in the refrigerator for up to 9 months, but nobody really wants me now... Ok, Ok, I guess I should just retire – right?”
​
Casper was next.
 
Casper: "Yeah, it’s not rocket science. You all know me – you know me by my full name, ‘Casper the Friendly Ghost.'"

He started to smile a little, and then the smile faded.
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“That’s right; I’m a non-conformist. I’d rather make friends than scare people. I know I’m different from the rest of the haunt team, but it is who I am. I like people; I’ve made friends before. I don’t like scaring them.”

Wanda started to snicker.
​
“Whoever heard of a friendly ghost?” she muttered. I had to shhh! her.

“And since COVID-19,” Casper continued. “People don't get to see their regular friends as much, so you can bet no one wants to talk to a friendly ghost! What should I do? I have a lot of years ahead of me!”

Then it was Terry’s turn.

Terry: “Ha – you think you guys have issues? You think you don’t know what to do ‘next’? When I was a little tiny tarantula, my Mama told me I was cute. Then I left the nest, and it all ended.”

He looked around, daring people to challenge him.
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“I remember the first time I became aware of Halloween! Look around, guys! Do you notice how many phony spiders people put out – on the lawn/on the bushes/crawling up the front of the house! THEY ARE ALL TARANTULAS! What do you think this does to my self-image?”

Everyone got quiet.

“I know, I crawl; I have long hairy legs, and I have eight eyes. But I’m harmless to people! If I bite, it’s no worse than a bee sting – okay? Look it up! So, what’s a young guy like me to do with a reputation like that?”

Wanda started muttering again. “Maybe you remind people of the COVID virus,” she whispered. 

I talked over her. “Ok, Peter, it’s your turn.”
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Peter: “Well, in comparison, maybe my problem is not so bad. I mean, let’s face it, the pumpkin is the symbol for both Fall and Halloween."
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“I know, I’ve been pretty lucky over the years - always the one up front – inside and outside – enjoying the popularity and fun.

His voice softened.

“But then, enter plastic and inflatables. Enter strange colors and shapes. How can I keep up with those inexpensive, use year-to-year decorations? Even on the flavor side – so many cheaper, easy-to-use imitations! In chips/pancake mix/coffee – even donuts!

​People are pumpkin crazy, but they are not using the real thing!”
​
He looked up at me and sighed.

“There used to be pumpkin carving parties. Now no one is gathering groups together to sit close and carve. I may be able to hold out for a few more years, but I need a plan, a new direction. Should I retire?”

I let the air settle for a few minutes. Group sessions are not easy. A person (or a pumpkin) can listen and feel their issue is not so bad, or the participant can take on everyone’s problems and go away feeling worse.

I decided there was only one answer and it applied to the whole group.
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Ask yourself important questions like
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Before I left the room, I looked around and smiled. “Of course, If you want to talk more about planning for the days and years ahead, give me a call!”

As the door shut, I heard Casper shout:

“That was amazing! Ok, everybody, MASKS ON – Let’s have a Group Hug!”

~ HAPPY HALLOWEEN ~
​
-Loretta
]]><![CDATA[Have You Been Paying Attention?]]>Fri, 05 Jul 2024 05:00:00 GMThttp://www.coachingwithloretta.com/accomplish-coaching-blog/have-you-been-paying-attention
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The reason I’m offering you a small crossword puzzle this month is that
 the tag line for my website at www.coachingwithloretta.com is:

"Life’s a puzzle and sometimes you just need
 a little help putting the pieces together."

 This crossword will help you find the path to a successful transition in retirement!
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Across                                                        
2. What you will need to get you up every morning.  
4. It’s not just about the money.
5. Seeing the glass half full shows you are full of this.
6. Make new ones and keep the old.
Down
1. When you have this, you have everything.
2. This puts you on your path to success.
3. Asking what? Who? Why? - Describes this important trait.
So, grab a pen and get to work! If you have been paying attention to my columns, you will find the puzzle easy and full of the secrets to a successful transition. If you haven’t, you can just make some good guesses for the seven hints. Good luck! (Don’t worry – the answers are at the bottom.)

P.S. This column was originally written for The Observer, but I have created a PDF version of the crossword puzzle that you can print out. You can download it here.
Download Crossword Puzzle
Meanwhile, as long as you have your pens handy, let’s talk about journaling. Journaling simply means keeping a record of your personal thoughts, feelings and insights. It is different from a diary in that a diary is used to record daily activities.
Don’t go into “but I’m not a good writer,” or “I just don’t enjoy writing.” Those are answers for a class or a test or an evaluation. This is a relationship between you and yourself.
Journaling has been shown to calm anxiety, reduce stress, enhance memory and help with prioritizing concerns. It is inexpensive - requiring no Lululemon outfit or Nike shoes - and it can be accomplished anywhere.
 
There is no right or wrong way to do it. There is no required length. You can jot down, draw pictures, create paragraphs, poems, or even lyrics reflecting your thoughts and feelings. (Think Taylor Swift!) The only strong suggestion is that research has shown writing daily (or almost every day) offers much greater results.

For the purpose of any life transition – and especially relating to retirement -journaling is extremely beneficial because it:

  • can help you set and accomplish goals.
  • is a place to express gratitude.
  • puts you in the present instead of the past.
  • allows you to express your true thoughts and feelings.
Find a notebook, choose a quiet secluded place, and begin journaling. Many people like to write in the morning when they first wake up. But you do you. Once you start, you will find the where and when that are just right.
 
By the way, no one else reads it. It’s yours to keep and reread if you like or to simply embrace the time as private minutes between you and your thoughts and feelings.

Happy Journaling!
Now, let’s check out the answers for that crossword. By the way, I may have given her the words and hints, but that beautiful crossword grid was created by my nine-year old granddaughter, Zoe Saff Sager. Thanks, Zoe!
Across
2. purpose
4. retirement
5. positivity
6. friends
Down
1. health
2. plan
​3. curious
Loretta
loretta@coachingwithloretta.com
]]><![CDATA[The Math of Retirement]]>Thu, 27 Jun 2024 05:00:00 GMThttp://www.coachingwithloretta.com/accomplish-coaching-blog/the-math-of-retirement8459029
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My husband’s a mathematician – isn’t that scary! Sometimes people ask me what we talk about. Sometimes I’ll tell them that he whispers seductive equations in my ear – like “just think about the square root of eight hundred and twelve….”  But most often he tells me - and most people - that “mathematics is everywhere.”

I certainly found it in a recent article on Retirement that I came across in Forbes Magazine.  The author, Joseph Coughlin, a well-known researcher, teacher, and head of the MIT Age Lab, talked about “The New Math of Retirement Togetherness.”  
It went something like this: There are 164 hours in a week. During that time, approximately 8 hours a day are spent sleeping, leaving 112 waking hours in a week for each of us.

[No, this is not an SAT Math question.]

Now, if a typical workday is, say, 9 hours - that makes it minus 45 hours a week away from your partner. This brings it to 67 hours of together time. Then he continues his calculation by allowing an hour a day for travel, (subtracting 5 for the workdays) and brought the discussion to 62 hours of ‘togetherness’ in a week.

At this point Coughlin went on to narrow things down stating that life routines of home/child/personal responsibilities, etc., result in the fact that the reality is that a typical working couple may often spend only six (6) hours a day together! Quite a surprise when we do the math, right?  (see box below)
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​But that’s not quite the end of the math. Professor Coughlin then went on to compare this number to the number of hours couples spend together in RETIREMENT. This means: the original 45 hours a week of work that were subtracted are now added back. Oh, and so are the 5 allowed for travel. 
So, let’s see, that’s now 45 + 5 = 50 divided by 5 = 
AN EXTRA 10 WAKING HOURS A DAY
FOR A RETIRED COUPLE
TO SPEND TOGETHER!
Is that paradise? What will you do with that newly awarded together time? Suppose you already have a schedule and your partner questions your comings and goings, how will you react?  
​
These are situations that you and your significant other must consider as retirement comes closer. What if your list of ‘things to do’ doesn’t match that of your partner’s? In fact, do you really want everything on your list to match that of your partner? 
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Just think about how smart and happy you (and your partner) will feel in retirement when you have already worked on these challenges! Everyone has different needs and activities that give them purpose and make them feel fulfilled.  There will be things that you do together, but there must also be those separate activities that bring you joy.  

I ran into a neighbor and his wife recently. He is an executive who is looking forward to leaving the deadlines and fundraising behind.  I asked him how he plans to spend his time, and his wife immediately answered, “He’s going to paint the family room, clean out the garden, and join the choir so we can sing together on Sundays!” I looked at him and he rolled his eyes and said, “Do I have a choice?” The answer is “Yes, you do have a choice.”  Discuss it now so you both can enjoy the added time together later. 
Help yourself enjoy your retirement before you get there. Help your relationship with your partner by talking about and understanding each person’s wants and needs. Then,  ON YOUR MARK…, GET SET…, GO! 
Good Luck,

Loretta
loretta@coachingwithloretta.com

P.S. Last night, before he turned out the light, my husband whispered:
‘A’ squared plus ‘B’ squared = ‘C’ squared! ​
]]><![CDATA[Did You Know That...]]>Fri, 22 Mar 2024 18:40:35 GMThttp://www.coachingwithloretta.com/accomplish-coaching-blog/did-you-know-that
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Sometimes all that’s needed is a little information, right? So, here’s some!

DID YOU KNOW THAT...

1. RETIREMENT is in the Top Ten on the list of Life’s 43 Most Stressful Life Events (it’s #10!)
And that’s what I mean. Some people might find the transition easy, but many retirees are truly stressed at the challenge of creating a new identity and purpose.   ​
2. If your work defines ‘who you are’ rather than ‘what you do,’ it may be more difficult to transition away from it. 
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How will you introduce yourself when you retire?

Please don’t be a ‘used to be!’ Thinking about who you are NOW and what you want will help you create the things you will be retiring TO.
3. If your social connections are mostly related to your workplace, it may be a lot harder to replace them. 
Bob in HR and Emily in IT will not be available for lunch when you leave your job. Finding new friends and interests before you retire will help you create a new community of people whom you like and who enjoy the same things you do!
 
And, by the way, a Harvard Grant Study has shown that not only did having a strong social connection in retirement help people outlive those who didn’t, but also aided in delaying the onset of Alzheimer’s and dementia!
4. Sitting at a desk most of the day can cause complicated physical conditions that can interfere with your planned retirement activities. 
Get up and get moving! Those grandkids want to play hide and seek. Your condo wants you to be on the pickleball team, and the dog just brought you his leash asking for a long walk.

You don’t want to miss out on any of that – do you?    
5. Believing that “the best is yet to come” is more than a Mary Sunshine outlook. It helps foster fresh ideas and possibilities. 
Having a positive mental outlook not only helps you deal with change and gives you more energy for new opportunities and accomplishments, but it will also make you more resilient for handling the other ‘stuff’ that comes your way.
6. People who don’t spend any time volunteering before they retire don’t know where to look for appropriate opportunities and get stuck in roles they don’t like.
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If volunteering is high on your “Things I’ll Do When I Retire” list, get started early thinking about organizations you want to help. Make some inquiries and think about what you bring to the table. When you tell them what you would like to do, you won’t get stuck making phone calls or reorganizing files (unless, of course, you like that!). 

AND BY THE WAY… one more

7. People are 42% more likely to achieve a goal when it is WRITTEN DOWN!  
Whether it’s a trip to Machu Picchu or creating an online creative cooking club, having a WRITTEN detailed plan for how to achieve your goals is very important. You’ve probably already done it on the financial side. Now do the same for all those non-financial issues
Research has shown that when goals are written down, it reminds you of what they are and what you need to do to achieve them! Then put the list in a place where you can easily find it and check your progress.
~Loretta
]]><![CDATA[50 Ways to Leave Your ... Job, too!]]>Fri, 22 Mar 2024 18:23:57 GMThttp://www.coachingwithloretta.com/accomplish-coaching-blog/50-ways-to-leave-your-job-too(Paul Simon Had the Right Idea!)
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Are you struggling with the very idea of retiring? I often have people asking me questions like, ‘Should I?’ ‘When is the right time?’ and ‘How do I handle it?’ My best answer agrees with the transition advice given long ago by folksinger Paul Simon:  

“JUST MAKE A PLAN, STAN!”

Ok, so maybe your name is not Stan, and maybe you don’t even love your job - just the paycheck. The advice regarding facing a transition is still strong.  Retirement means the end of something – the end of having structure to your day, the end of the identity on your business card, and the end of that reason for getting up in the morning. 
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The answer to “How do I handle it?” is simple. As with all transitions, making a written PLAN will help you ask yourself, “Who am I now?” and “What do I really want?” (Of course, you can still do this if you have already retired and are questioning what to do.) It’s common sense – think about how very different you are now from that person who was just getting started in the working world. And, by the way,

YOU DON’T NEED TO BE COY, ROY.

Oh, that’s right, your name is not Roy. But…, being coy – shy or timid – will not help you figure out your next move.  You need to be honest with yourself, and PLANNING is what will help you focus and stay on the track of not what you are leaving from, but what you are going to.
 
When you become your own GPS, you will feel much more confident, knowing when and where to spend your time. You’ll do things like committing to your fitness routine and researching some of those ideas and activities that have caught your attention. So,

DON’T SLIP OUT THE BACK, JACK

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(Geesh, too many guy names! I’ll have to do something about that.) With your PLAN in place, you’ll be up front with everyone, having answers for the ‘What are you going to do when you retire” question that co-workers always ask.
 
In addition, knowing how you envision your retirement years will help avoid uncomfortable discussions later. Your partner and/or adult kids will hear and respect your thoughts and needs. (Like No, I’m not taking over all the babysitting responsibilities or Ok, I’ll try pickleball but just remember my guitar lessons are Tuesday at 11:00!)  Now, make sure you    

DON’T SIT STILL, JILL!

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(You’re welcome, Ladies!) If you need a little help for how to get to know yourself better and what makes you feel satisfied and happy, check out https://www.startofhappiness.com/wheel-of-life-a-self-assessment-tool/ . It’s a great tool for your goal setting and self-awareness.
 
Like leaving a lover, leaving full-time work requires planning. There may be more than 50 ways to do it, and with a little effort you will find yours. Then, at your retirement party you can

JUST EAT YOUR CAKE, JAKE & JILL

And really feel free!
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Good luck... whatever your name is!

Loretta
loretta@coachingwithloretta.com
​
P.S. By the way, remember that the written plan for retirement can easily be changed if you have some new ideas. Your GPS will just recalculate!
~Also seen in the monthly Let's Talk Retirement! column in the Jewish Observer~
]]><![CDATA[IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO FALL IN LOVE…, AGAIN!]]>Tue, 07 Nov 2023 06:00:00 GMThttp://www.coachingwithloretta.com/accomplish-coaching-blog/its-never-too-late-to-fall-in-love-again

When I started writing this month’s column, an ad for a new TV show caught my eye.
It was an announcement that the casting website was still open for the new show, THE GOLDEN BACHELOR!

(Author’s note: Sorry, but by the time you read this all slots will have been filled.)
 
I’m guessing you are familiar with the success of the two previous shows, The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. Well, this version’s contestants are all over 60, and the handsome bachelor making his choice stands by the tagline “It’s never too late to fall in love…, again!”      
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Instead of hearing older people referred to as ​a has been, a curmudgeon, cranky, elderly, and an old geezer, what a pleasure it is to hear this new description as “a lifetime of experience, including love, loss and laughter, and still hoping for a spark that ignites a future full of endless possibilities!”
 
Maybe you don’t want to publicly be the next GOLDEN BACHELOR or BACHELORETTE, but I’m sure you want the life ahead to be full of connection, meaningful relationships, and the possibility of falling in love … again!

You want that spark that can re-ignite those endless possibilities!

(By the way, this applies to current relationships as well as those that may occur in the future. Have you been married 30+ years and are feeling your partnership needs a boost? Maybe you are single and have realized that for years you put work first and took those around you for granted. You want to change. You want that spark that can re-ignite those endless possibilities!)
Did I just hear you say, “But how do I do that?” Well, you don’t have to wear red stilettos and a low-cut dress, nor do you require sporting a gold tailored suit and pink shirt by Armani (although sometimes a wardrobe makeover could be a great idea). 

What you really need is a good look at who you are now. 

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What do you have to offer? Gerry (that’s the guy in the ad) hosts barbecues, plays pickleball, dotes on his grandkids and likes exploring new places with friends. You don’t have to do all that, but how about asking yourself if you are interesting, kind, and fun to be with? 
​Whether you think you already are or if you need a refresher course in being interesting, kind, and fun to be with, here’s what I suggest – especially during retirement: 

Step One*: Focus on being a positive and optimistic person.

If you consider yourself negative, stop it. Yes, you can retrain your brain, so make it a priority in your life because:
1. Research has shown that 50% of your personality is predetermined, 10% is random, and 40% is your intentional activity. That means you are in control!

2. You can direct this intentional activity to surrounding yourself with positive people. Recognize the people in your life that bring you down and become unavailable to them. If some are family, make a point of consciously avoiding large amounts of time together.

​3. I’m giving you five things to do daily for 30 days that will help you train yourself to Make Happy a Habit!
  1. Upon waking every morning say out loud three things you are grateful for.
  2. At bedtime every night, write about a positive experience that occurred in the past 24 hours (one sentence or many about anything positive that occurred.)
  3. Exercise 20 minutes a day (can be done in two 10 - minute intervals, if necessary)
  4. Meditate five to seven minutes a day, either with an app (I like HEADSPACE) or just by listening to wordless music.
  5. Perform a daily random act of kindness. (let someone in front of you in traffic; say something nice to a cashier, etc.)
Why is this topic important in a column about retirement? Because in retirement you’ll have more time to spend; you’ll want to be involved in a lot of different fun and rewarding activities. And simply put, people like to be around positive people.
Start practicing your Make Happy a Habit assignment now and enjoy noticing the effect you will have on others. Stick with it because it takes 30 days to make a habit.
Yes, it works. If you need some help discovering the road to your own happiness, contact me and we can talk.
​
Loretta
loretta@coachingwithloretta.com

*By the way, Steps Two, Three, and Four are "Repeat Step One."
~Also seen in the monthly Let's Talk Retirement! column in the Jewish Observer~
]]><![CDATA[Be Fit for Travel]]>Thu, 20 Jul 2023 17:12:59 GMThttp://www.coachingwithloretta.com/accomplish-coaching-blog/be-fit-for-travel
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FYI
​Here’s the quote most often heard from people discussing plans for retirement:
"One of the main things I plan to do when I retire is TRAVEL."
If you have followed me long enough or simply know me well, you are familiar with the four areas of non-financial retirement I discuss, preach, talk about, and emphasize that are necessary to prepare for retirement: mental, physical, social, and spiritual.

​Today I’m writing this column while traveling abroad, and I dedicate it to all of you who are saying, 

"One of the main things I plan to do
​when I retire is TRAVEL."

To deal with the challenges of today’s travel, let’s talk about PHYSICAL fitness. Are you ready for what’s ahead?

​We all know that Covid caused people to stay home and be cautious. Now the travel light has turned green, postponed trips are back on the books, and everyone is out searching for a new four-wheeled suitcase!    
(NOTE: Since most of us would rather not check our new four-wheeled suitcase, please read my list of reminders that follows first while packing, then while practicing pulling your packed case around the house, and finally while picking it up and pretending to squish it into the overhead bin.

Here are four reasons to focus on your fitness
​before your dream of retirement travel:

​1 - THERE ARE HUGE CROWDS EVERYWHERE YOU GO.  
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There are crowds at the airport, in the restaurants, on the tours, and trying to find a taxi. There are people who are short tempered and in a hurry. You will need to either keep up or move aside. Make sure you are physically fit.
2 - SOMETIMES YOU WILL HAVE TO WALK VERY FAR (like for 20 minutes!) TO GET TO A CONNECTING FLIGHT IN AN AIRPORT
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And, if your first flight is delayed, you may even have to jog (!) to get to the gate before the boarding door is closed. Missing the connector means you may have to spend the night in the airport. Make sure you are physically fit.
3 - ON SOME AIRLINES IT IS NECESSARY TO CLIMB STEPS TO GET ON THE PLANE. 
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(British Airways at Heathrow Airport is famous for this). And remember your not-checked four-wheeled bag must come up the steps with you. Or, you may just have to check the bag where it may go on its own unscheduled journey, while you hope desperately to see it show up along the baggage carousel. Make sure you are physically fit

And one more…

4 - SOMETIMES THE WAY TO GET TO A TRAIN STATION WHEN THERE IS NO TAXI AVAILABLE IS TO WALK FOR SEVEN MINUTES. 
(This scene is real, from Como, Italy, 2023.)
(This really happened to me.) Seven minutes later, the station is in sight. But so are the three flights of steps to get to the station! If you are in shape, this Sisyphusian* challenge for you and your new four-wheeled friend that now includes several treasured souvenirs might just be manageable. Make sure you are physically fit!
Those are four very good reasons that I always ask you about physical fitness as you prepare for retirement. Travel is exciting, educational, interesting, and fun. It may be harder today, but when you are physically fit, you will be better prepared to handle ‘stuff’ that can happen. I wish everyone a fun summer full of friends, family, adventure and very few travel challenges.

​BON VOYAGE!

​Loretta
 
*In Greek mythology Zeus punished Sisyphus by forcing him to roll a boulder up a hill for eternity. 
 
P.S. I’d love to hear your travel stories and how glad you were to have physically prepared for the challenges and the fun.

Tell me: loretta@coachingwithloretta.com
~Also seen in the monthly Let's Talk Retirement! column in the Jewish Observer~
]]><![CDATA[A Vocabulary Lesson]]>Thu, 01 Jun 2023 17:19:49 GMThttp://www.coachingwithloretta.com/accomplish-coaching-blog/a-vocabulary-lesson
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I’ve always said that in life one thing we can surely count on is change. Sometimes we can plan for it and sometimes it is thrust upon us. Sometimes we’ve grown older and wiser, and sometimes we’ve simply become bored. Consider:

RELATIONSHIPS, COLLEGE, MARRIAGE, PARENTING, EMPTY NESTERS, CHANGING JOBS, RETIREMENT!

​When facing a change, we often say, “Well, it’s a transition. Change offers challenges, adventure, and an opportunity to grow.” All that is true, but the words ‘change’ and ‘transition’ have two different meanings. Here’s the difference:
  • Change refers to the need to move away from the way things used to be to the way they are now.
  • Transition is the psychological process we go through to adapt to the change.
To quote the author William Bridges, “Without transition, change is just a rearrangement of the furniture.”
​Think about that for a moment. Now, think about how it relates to Retirement. Transition requires a psychological process to have a successful change.

There are three stages to TRANSITION:

Stage 1: Accepting the Ending – Long Goodbye
​Ok, so you have left work. You must accept the fact that your days will be different. You will no longer have the structure, calendar and organization you had before. Where you spend your day, and who you will be with will change.  
Stage 2: Living in the Neutral Zone – Messy Middle
​Yes, you read that correctly. Accepting a Messy Middle is an important mindset to
​have. Realizing that things really are different and that it will take time to figure out what you really want and how you will find your purpose to feel satisfied can be a bit uncomfortable (and messy) in the short term.
​Stage 3: Reaching Your New Beginning
​Take a victory lap! You have figured it out, so find comfort in this new beginning. You also can relax because you realize that you can tweak it along the way as you experience the many new adventures you have been curious about. 
Those are the facts. If you jump from Stage 1 directly to Stage 3, you may find yourself very unhappy. Spend some time in Stage 2 (the Messy Middle) so you can really enjoy that victory lap!  

I leave you with the words of Dr. Seuss:

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​Let me know if you need a little help.

Loretta
~Also seen in the monthly Let's Talk Retirement! column in the Jewish Observer~
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